So I’ve been trying my best to find a job.. any job really. I prefer something in childcare and if not that then I’ve got experience in construction ( but because of my broken shoulder and broken arm that’s not an option even though I wouldn’t mind doing construction again because I do miss it! ), stock clerk ( this is more easier on my broken bones and shouldn’t give me too much of an issue. But I just want to know how these young kids are posting pictures of wads of cash. Hundreds everywhere like it’s nothing and they are wearing grills and necklaces that cost thousands of dollars. And I’m not talking about celebrities I’m talking about your average 16 year old kid who doesn’t know how to spell his own name or talk like a gentleman but who needs class when you have $$. I know money is the root of all evil but seriously.. we need it to live! It’s unfortunate but it’s true! And I’ve been telling God that I seriously have been fed up being an unemployed man that it’s only a matter of time before I just say screw it and go for that rope so I can tie it around my neck because really what else is left? The scars heal but what’s left for me to feel? I’ve been feeling irritated and useless not doing anything but sit at home like a house wife. I just feel like I’m meant for more.. but I don’t know why God won’t open up those doors. Or am I missing it and taking the wrong path to nowhere? I’m just lost and I want to hear from God and know what He is doing with me and what my purpose is! Matthew 12:36 says “That every idle word that men shall speak, they shall give account thereof the day of judgement.” And the word “idle” in Greek is argos which means “useless, careless, inactive, unemployed” so God is probably not too happy with me being unemployed and I’m not either.. but I haven’t been having the best luck out here with work and this just sucks and makes me think I’m not important in this world and nobody wants my service anywhere so why am I even here?