Hi,
not being inspired to write poems recently I have been scribbling some stories based on a fictional church ‘The Tythe Barn’
are they stories? are they fact based? did any of the stories really happen? or are they fables or a bit of everything?…
that’s for me to know and you to find out… a bit long but I hope you enjoy
Alan H
The Tythe Barn
Stories from a little old mission church in a little town called Little Milltown, lying in the hills between Yorkshire and Lancashire, my home town.
By the Grumpy Grampa
The Tale of Tim; Tiny to His Friends
This tale is about Tim, a gentle giant of a young man who spent some time in 0ur little old mission church, in a little town called Milltown, lying in the hills between Yorkshire and Lancashire.
Well, what can I say about Tim, one seen never forgotten, I first met him in the bakery that my friend Steve owned. Tim was a giant of a man six foot seven tall and weighed twenty six stone. He was not at the front of the queue when goods looks were handed out, a giant of a man who had three passions in life, food, weight lifting, food, his mother... and FOOD!
He had muscles upon muscles, and could bench press more weight than most people weighed, He loved working out at the local gym. If Tim got hold of you, you knew about it, when hugged by Tim, you stayed hugged for ages!
Tiny to his friends, because of his size had always, from a young age attracted a lot of attention, as he grew up at school it was the school bullies. When a teenager it was the local hothead teenage gangs out to prove that they were the toughest, and in his later teens, the police!
But Tiny would not react, he had promised his mother he would never get into a fight as she would say “If you hit them I would be frightened that one blow and you would kill them, and he always did as his mother said.
Often drunk and abusive, being very loud, His fondness of swearing every other word would often attract the attention of the police, When Tiny went out on a Saturday night with his mates, he would be the first to come to the polices’ attention, Tiny would regularly be on the wrong end of a battering, for ‘control and restraint’, and for ‘good order and control’ was the police’s excuse.
This would result in his mother having to go to the police station to bail him out, and at seventy, not in good health, this was very stressful for her, so when this problem was shared at the local house group, (yes Millie, Tiny’s mother was a member of our little old mission church at Little Milltown.) It was agreed that when the police called again, a member of the church would go and pick Tiny up and take him home.
God must have had his hand on Tiny, because of all the times he was taken to the police station he never once was arrested and taken to court therefore although being well known to the police, never had a formal police record...
Steve a young man who inherited the local family bakery was the most regular person of the church to collect Tiny, in Tiny’s drunken stupor he would say that he liked Steve ‘cause he never had a go at me’.
As Tiny did not have a job, a regular Monday morning routine was that Tiny would go around to the bakery full of apology because Steve had to get up and go to pick him up on the previous Saturday night/Sunday morning.
Tiny started to hang out at the bakery, and offered to clean up, sweep the floor, make coffee and any other task that he begged Steve he could do, in return he would get a sample of the buns the bakery produced... donuts were his favourite!
Over the weeks Tiny’s visits to the bakery became more frequent, and he was even known to be on the doorstep before the bakery opened up at 4 a.m. in the morning!
Steve has said that during this time God was waking him up at two o’clock in the morning, “why two in the morning God? I’ve got to get up for work in an hour” Because I have your full and undivided attention was the reply!
Well Steve told of a dreamlike, sort of vision he was having every night about the future of his bakery, and of a contract for bread and fancy goods he would be receiving in the near future, God also showed him he needed to train more workers to cope with the extra work, Steve said that he got excited about that part of what God was saying as they had been praying for the future of the business!
It was the next bit Steve had problems with; God was telling him to employ Tiny... Steve put up a lot of opposition to this idea, arguing with God about his suitability and the fact he had never been able to hold down a job, his loud abusive way of talking to people would cause a riot at the bakery upsetting all the other workers! “It would be like employing a time bomb, he would tell God...
Night after night at exactly two o’clock in the morning God challenged Steve in the same way, with the same ‘vision’ and with the same words. “IT was like a groundhog day dream it was stuck in a loop” Steve would say.
After two weeks of arguing with God, Steve said “Look God, if I agree with this and give Tiny a job will you let me sleep?”... And you know what, Steve said that night he had the best night’s sleep ever!
Taking a great risk Steve offered a job to Tiny... this changed Tiny’s life, he stopped drinking and running wild and from that day never spent a night in the local police cells on the wrong side of the door!
Steve didn’t realise just how big a challenge what he was taking on but patiently taught Tiny all aspect of baking... the biggest problem was that Tiny could not read or write, so Steve devised a system of pictures and colours for weights and ingredients for the recipes... and Tiny quickly became the best baker in that little bakery, a very popular with all the members of staff in the bakery.
Steve never talked about his faith while he was working, but everyone knew that he attended the little mission church in town, Tiny would often swear and straight away apologise to Steve, all the other staff would wait and see what Steve would do about the swearing, but Steve never reacted.
Steve had been praying for Tiny and was longing for the day that God would be reality in Tiny’s life, and that Tiny would submit control of himself totally to God... Especially his mouth!,
His prayer was answered in quite a strange way as Tiny said at his baptism service last night at church.
Tiny Said;-
“It was at 4. O’clock in the morning on a cold frosty winters day when we got into the bakery, we had loads to do and needed to get them ovens lit. In mornings them ovens were a sod to light, It was so cold and that day them buggers just wouldn’t light, I was getting madder and madder, I finally I shouted at the top of me voice “for Christ Sake Light you dam ovens”
At this point Steve, the boss, walked pass and quietly said to me “ If you ask Him with a little more respect He may well light the ovens for you”, my response to this was to shout at the top of my voice in a mocking religious sort of way, “Oh God get these f*@*ing ovens lit!”
I don’t know who was more shocked me or Steve but when I prayed, them ovens light straight away!!!
Anyhow, later in the morning while we were having a brew break, me work mates were laughing about what happened earlier in the day with them ovens, as I walked into the canteen they were having a right good laugh at me, then it happened I said to them “Don’t knock it, when Steve prays things ‘appen”
As I said it, something happened inside of me, I couldn’t explain it, but all I know is that every morning I asked God to light them ovens, they lit the first time!
It was coming near to Harvest time and Steve came into the bakery and told me that they have been asked to make a corn sheaf for the harvest supper and asked if I would like to help him,
“You know me mate” I said “I’m up for ‘owt’ if it involves food!”
Me and Steve worked on it for hours, it looked right grand... Steve said to me “That looks so good, would I like to come on Saturday night and present it the church... there is a free pie and pea supper after?”
It was the offer of free food that sold it. Off to the church I went! I felt a right ‘ plonker’ walking to the front of the church with this ruddy great loaf of bread shaped like a sheaf of corn with a little mouse on the string in the middle, but to please me Mam, who was there, I went through with it, she looked so proud seeing me at the front of the church.
I got more than free food that night, I’ll tell you;
I like to explain it like this;
I met the Boss, the Guv’nor, me Lord and Saviour.
It’s changed me life, God is food and drink to me now!
Not only have I joined this little church and gave my life to God, me Saturday nights out now is with the street angels, and instead of fighting the police, I go back to the police cells with the street angels to talk to them guys what have had too much to drink, they tend to listen to me, (If confronted with a six foot seven tall, twenty six stone giant of a man telling you about your need of Jesus in your life in a police cell you would tend listen!)
I met Colombo Phil the next Saturday night; he remembered me from the olden days before I met Jesus and couldn’t believe the change in me,
I said to him “Hey! Colombo Phil, ‘You’re a miserable sod and you need God’!” He complained to Pastor Pete in charge of the angels that night about the way I had talked to him, and God bless him, the pastor replied “You are and you do!”
Things are moving on in Tiny’s life, he is moving to London to work with a big church outreach programme, as Steve said “I don’t think the church in London will know what has hit them when Tiny turns up!
We still pray for Tiny every week and thank God for saving him and ask that he will continue the work on his mouth, the odd swear work still escapes, followed by “Dam! Sorry for swearing God,”
There will be a big space in our church life that will take a lot of filling when Tiny moved to London,
Steve often says he learned a valuable lesson working with Tiny, ‘A word in season is far more effective than a sermon, especially at 4 0’clock in the morning!’
The staff at the bakery still talk about Tiny and them ‘Dam ovens’, and they still repeat Tiny’s prayer when the ovens won’t light, God is still faithful and answers their prayers and lights the ovens, that cooks the bread in the little bakery in a little town called Little Milltown, lying in the hills between Yorkshire and Lancashire, my home town.
not being inspired to write poems recently I have been scribbling some stories based on a fictional church ‘The Tythe Barn’
are they stories? are they fact based? did any of the stories really happen? or are they fables or a bit of everything?…
that’s for me to know and you to find out… a bit long but I hope you enjoy
Alan H
The Tythe Barn
Stories from a little old mission church in a little town called Little Milltown, lying in the hills between Yorkshire and Lancashire, my home town.
By the Grumpy Grampa
The Tale of Tim; Tiny to His Friends
This tale is about Tim, a gentle giant of a young man who spent some time in 0ur little old mission church, in a little town called Milltown, lying in the hills between Yorkshire and Lancashire.
Well, what can I say about Tim, one seen never forgotten, I first met him in the bakery that my friend Steve owned. Tim was a giant of a man six foot seven tall and weighed twenty six stone. He was not at the front of the queue when goods looks were handed out, a giant of a man who had three passions in life, food, weight lifting, food, his mother... and FOOD!
He had muscles upon muscles, and could bench press more weight than most people weighed, He loved working out at the local gym. If Tim got hold of you, you knew about it, when hugged by Tim, you stayed hugged for ages!
Tiny to his friends, because of his size had always, from a young age attracted a lot of attention, as he grew up at school it was the school bullies. When a teenager it was the local hothead teenage gangs out to prove that they were the toughest, and in his later teens, the police!
But Tiny would not react, he had promised his mother he would never get into a fight as she would say “If you hit them I would be frightened that one blow and you would kill them, and he always did as his mother said.
Often drunk and abusive, being very loud, His fondness of swearing every other word would often attract the attention of the police, When Tiny went out on a Saturday night with his mates, he would be the first to come to the polices’ attention, Tiny would regularly be on the wrong end of a battering, for ‘control and restraint’, and for ‘good order and control’ was the police’s excuse.
This would result in his mother having to go to the police station to bail him out, and at seventy, not in good health, this was very stressful for her, so when this problem was shared at the local house group, (yes Millie, Tiny’s mother was a member of our little old mission church at Little Milltown.) It was agreed that when the police called again, a member of the church would go and pick Tiny up and take him home.
God must have had his hand on Tiny, because of all the times he was taken to the police station he never once was arrested and taken to court therefore although being well known to the police, never had a formal police record...
Steve a young man who inherited the local family bakery was the most regular person of the church to collect Tiny, in Tiny’s drunken stupor he would say that he liked Steve ‘cause he never had a go at me’.
As Tiny did not have a job, a regular Monday morning routine was that Tiny would go around to the bakery full of apology because Steve had to get up and go to pick him up on the previous Saturday night/Sunday morning.
Tiny started to hang out at the bakery, and offered to clean up, sweep the floor, make coffee and any other task that he begged Steve he could do, in return he would get a sample of the buns the bakery produced... donuts were his favourite!
Over the weeks Tiny’s visits to the bakery became more frequent, and he was even known to be on the doorstep before the bakery opened up at 4 a.m. in the morning!
Steve has said that during this time God was waking him up at two o’clock in the morning, “why two in the morning God? I’ve got to get up for work in an hour” Because I have your full and undivided attention was the reply!
Well Steve told of a dreamlike, sort of vision he was having every night about the future of his bakery, and of a contract for bread and fancy goods he would be receiving in the near future, God also showed him he needed to train more workers to cope with the extra work, Steve said that he got excited about that part of what God was saying as they had been praying for the future of the business!
It was the next bit Steve had problems with; God was telling him to employ Tiny... Steve put up a lot of opposition to this idea, arguing with God about his suitability and the fact he had never been able to hold down a job, his loud abusive way of talking to people would cause a riot at the bakery upsetting all the other workers! “It would be like employing a time bomb, he would tell God...
Night after night at exactly two o’clock in the morning God challenged Steve in the same way, with the same ‘vision’ and with the same words. “IT was like a groundhog day dream it was stuck in a loop” Steve would say.
After two weeks of arguing with God, Steve said “Look God, if I agree with this and give Tiny a job will you let me sleep?”... And you know what, Steve said that night he had the best night’s sleep ever!
Taking a great risk Steve offered a job to Tiny... this changed Tiny’s life, he stopped drinking and running wild and from that day never spent a night in the local police cells on the wrong side of the door!
Steve didn’t realise just how big a challenge what he was taking on but patiently taught Tiny all aspect of baking... the biggest problem was that Tiny could not read or write, so Steve devised a system of pictures and colours for weights and ingredients for the recipes... and Tiny quickly became the best baker in that little bakery, a very popular with all the members of staff in the bakery.
Steve never talked about his faith while he was working, but everyone knew that he attended the little mission church in town, Tiny would often swear and straight away apologise to Steve, all the other staff would wait and see what Steve would do about the swearing, but Steve never reacted.
Steve had been praying for Tiny and was longing for the day that God would be reality in Tiny’s life, and that Tiny would submit control of himself totally to God... Especially his mouth!,
His prayer was answered in quite a strange way as Tiny said at his baptism service last night at church.
Tiny Said;-
“It was at 4. O’clock in the morning on a cold frosty winters day when we got into the bakery, we had loads to do and needed to get them ovens lit. In mornings them ovens were a sod to light, It was so cold and that day them buggers just wouldn’t light, I was getting madder and madder, I finally I shouted at the top of me voice “for Christ Sake Light you dam ovens”
At this point Steve, the boss, walked pass and quietly said to me “ If you ask Him with a little more respect He may well light the ovens for you”, my response to this was to shout at the top of my voice in a mocking religious sort of way, “Oh God get these f*@*ing ovens lit!”
I don’t know who was more shocked me or Steve but when I prayed, them ovens light straight away!!!
Anyhow, later in the morning while we were having a brew break, me work mates were laughing about what happened earlier in the day with them ovens, as I walked into the canteen they were having a right good laugh at me, then it happened I said to them “Don’t knock it, when Steve prays things ‘appen”
As I said it, something happened inside of me, I couldn’t explain it, but all I know is that every morning I asked God to light them ovens, they lit the first time!
It was coming near to Harvest time and Steve came into the bakery and told me that they have been asked to make a corn sheaf for the harvest supper and asked if I would like to help him,
“You know me mate” I said “I’m up for ‘owt’ if it involves food!”
Me and Steve worked on it for hours, it looked right grand... Steve said to me “That looks so good, would I like to come on Saturday night and present it the church... there is a free pie and pea supper after?”
It was the offer of free food that sold it. Off to the church I went! I felt a right ‘ plonker’ walking to the front of the church with this ruddy great loaf of bread shaped like a sheaf of corn with a little mouse on the string in the middle, but to please me Mam, who was there, I went through with it, she looked so proud seeing me at the front of the church.
I got more than free food that night, I’ll tell you;
I like to explain it like this;
I met the Boss, the Guv’nor, me Lord and Saviour.
It’s changed me life, God is food and drink to me now!
Not only have I joined this little church and gave my life to God, me Saturday nights out now is with the street angels, and instead of fighting the police, I go back to the police cells with the street angels to talk to them guys what have had too much to drink, they tend to listen to me, (If confronted with a six foot seven tall, twenty six stone giant of a man telling you about your need of Jesus in your life in a police cell you would tend listen!)
I met Colombo Phil the next Saturday night; he remembered me from the olden days before I met Jesus and couldn’t believe the change in me,
I said to him “Hey! Colombo Phil, ‘You’re a miserable sod and you need God’!” He complained to Pastor Pete in charge of the angels that night about the way I had talked to him, and God bless him, the pastor replied “You are and you do!”
Things are moving on in Tiny’s life, he is moving to London to work with a big church outreach programme, as Steve said “I don’t think the church in London will know what has hit them when Tiny turns up!
We still pray for Tiny every week and thank God for saving him and ask that he will continue the work on his mouth, the odd swear work still escapes, followed by “Dam! Sorry for swearing God,”
There will be a big space in our church life that will take a lot of filling when Tiny moved to London,
Steve often says he learned a valuable lesson working with Tiny, ‘A word in season is far more effective than a sermon, especially at 4 0’clock in the morning!’
The staff at the bakery still talk about Tiny and them ‘Dam ovens’, and they still repeat Tiny’s prayer when the ovens won’t light, God is still faithful and answers their prayers and lights the ovens, that cooks the bread in the little bakery in a little town called Little Milltown, lying in the hills between Yorkshire and Lancashire, my home town.
