30 years without God < 1 year with God

Now when I look back, I see that my path to God had begun a long ago. Only, I've always managed somehow to turn away from the main.. From Him.
Long ago, my best friend Imants, tried to involve me in to Alpha course, but somehow I always "skillfully" avoided.. Recently, he also reminded me that I have even threatened to him that if he will keep on "harassing" me with "he's Christianity", we will stop seeing each other. Wow, now it's hard to believe that I would be able to say such thing ..
Of course, that he didn't stop "harassing", but continued it more carefully..oh, he is very smart and foxy! :D
Still I wasn't easy persuaded. But at the same time, purely because of respect for him, I went to Alpha celebrations with him. This made me sure that I really don’t need this and nicely explained it to him.
So both of us, equally persistently continued to be both best friends and kept holding on our beliefs.
That is how God tried to come into my life through my very important person.. But I didn't let Him in..
But everything was already decided. He had to get into me one way or another. And he came in another way.
For several months I planned to volunteer in a project in Georgia for a year or more, to live and work there.. All plans were dispersed, when I found out that I am pregnant with the guy with whom my relationships were quite a volatile and fragile.
I had to give up all my plans and start thinking about the future in this context.
Pregnancy went well without any complications, except for the fact that the baby was very big, which is normal these days. However, I was convinced that everything will be fine, even now as I remember myself saying: "Everything always is ok with me!"
Childbirth was very hard for both of us, especially my boy. We were struggling 22 hours and the child was taken straight from the delivery room to intensive therapy. It turned out that he had been lacking oxygen for a long time already inside of me. Not to mention the birth trauma, head squeezed, swelling and the outpouring in the brain.
Doctors gave absolutely no expectations, opposite, they killed the last hope. They said that, perhaps, the child won’t survive, but if he will, he won’t be normal.
And I haven’t even kept him in my hands or at least touched.. The situation was very desperate.
Now I am surprised about myself, but through the whole nightmare, I was even able to think rationally.. I thought "ok, what is that I can do for my son?". Wasn't much. Take care of that he gets my breast milk and ...to pray. Cause now it's only miracle that can help..And so I did. Forced out milk out of me and in complete despair and pain prayed God.. Thanked Him for every day He gave my son and regretted all my previous life and prayed for healing .. Now, writing this down I realise thaqt none of words can express all the emotions young mother goes through after giving birth, especially when it didnt go well.. But I want to testify!
Imants also supported me as he could. He said that he’s church were praying for us both. For which I am very grateful to those people ..
But medical tests still showed the same thing - everything is bad!
It took a week and then we were transported to Children's Clinical Hospital, where, although they noted previous hospitals test results, they still had to make them repeatedly to make sure what the condition is. Since all this couldn’t be done in one day, then it took a week to access them all and waits for results. During the week I experienced God's miracle. With each passing day, when the test results arrived, I recognized He’s strength and power. It was just amazing. The child was almost well, as if nothing had happened and everything showed also that his entire development should go normally!
After that wonderful week we even had no reason to stay in the hospital and we finally got home. Only now life has changed..
Time went by, I continued to maintain and cultivate my relationship with God, as it was possible in my situation and Imants helped me in this, too. I decided to finally listen to he’s invitation to pass the Alpha course, because I realized that I want to deepen my relationship with God. And guess what, I enjoyed every moment of it, every experienced revelation and God's presence in my life..till this very moment.
Alpha time I realized that I have lived in a lie for a too long and that it cannot continue like that anymore, because I want to move closer to God ..
Although our paths with my son's father parted, I thank God for keeping the faith in true love in my heart and I know I will find one ..
And now, with God’s help and guidance, I am learning every day to become a better person in this world, a better mother to my son, a better daughter to my parents for a better friend to my friends .. and over all I learn how I can serve Him the best!
After finishing Alpha I've experienced a wonderful baptising together with his son. In the Easter, at night in the Church.. Together with those people who prayed for us..

Now my son Mikus is 1 year old, running around me, playing with he's toys, dancing, trying to sing..Everyone loves him, he brought a light in to my family. He is our joy and happiness :) I thank God for him, every day..

Thank You God for coming in to my life.. For knocking at my door so patiently.. Thank You for putting my son’s life in danger.. Opening my eyes, my heart, my mind..for You. Oh Lord, Almighty..I belong to You. Thank You for Your gifts.. for Your miracles. I love You. Hallelujah. Amen.

p.s. Sorry guys for my english not being so good ;)
Thank you for your testimony and welcome to CFS! Your english is pretty good, so no worries there. May God's joy fill your heart as you draw closer to Him.
Wow! A true miracle indeed :) Hang on tight to Jesus, Kristine. There are many more gifts to come.......O YA!! Wooo Hooo!!