When you learn certain words you begin to feel a sense of release, because that word expresses what you're feeling. I used to feel a certain way about particular things and then I learned the word "ambivalence." This word means "conflicting emotions." In our kingdom-realm you might feel sympathy toward a seat-of-power in ministry because it's being abused: meaning that you feel righteous indignation for the person in question, who has been revealed to be other than what they portray; but you must respect the seat that they occupy within the bureaucracy of the Church. Ambivalence! Saul tried to murder and set-up King David on numerous occasions, but we all know that King Saul in the beginning was a mighty leader, who accomplished many great acts-of-war for Israel by the unwavering Grace of God. What do you do when the man or woman of God falls from Grace to the degree where it endangers themselves and others? And even threatens the seat-of-power? King David said in 2 Samuel 1:21 "Ye mountains of Gilboa, let there be no dew, neither let there be rain, upon you, nor fields of offerings: for there the shield of the mighty is vilely cast away, the shield of Saul, as though he had not been anointed with oil." How are the holy things that were produced under a heavy anointing, annulled when the man or woman of God falls from Grace, when those sacred things were created in the good times? David said that the enemy threw away Saul's shield as if were trash and not a mightily anointed piece of spiritual warfare armor! Regardless of the degree of reverence that sinners have for the Church, they still have this "secret-treat." That dainty called CORRUPTION. Many sinners delight in being able to make a saint backslide, smoke a cigarette, take a drink, get a tattoo, or perform some other heinous act. When our leaders fall, sinners smile a bright, many teeth smile inside; saying to themselves "I told you so!" 1 Samuel 1:20 reads "Tell it not in Gath, publish it not in the streets of Askelon; lest the daughters of the Philistines rejoice, lest the daughters of the uncircumcised triumph." God keeps us. Jesus keeps us. The Holy Spirit keeps us. Angels keep us! When people enter into the ministry they are so on-fire. The prayer is more intense, the warfare is more fervent, the reading is more abundant, and the way seems to be more clear. Some saints never let up; they stay on fire. King Saul was on fire for a season. Jonathan stayed on fire but allowed his familial-ties to get him killed. 1:22 reads "...the bow of Jonathan turned not back, and the sword of Saul returned not empty." When some saints bind a demon, it's bound. When they sprinkle the Blood of Jesus; that's it! What happens when your friend or blood-brother in Christ sides with your enemy, that you used to minister to, and who was once anointed? Oh, the pain and agony! True men of God fall in certain areas like Saul, but the difference is that they get back up,because they have a heart for God. Saul's heart changed. How do you feel when you weep for an enemy? He would laugh at your funeral, but you shed tears for him. These men and women provided for us spiritual clothing and gems; they draped us in scriptures, wisdom, advice, and words that changed the course of our actions. 1:24 reads "You daughters of Israel, weep over Saul, who clothed you in scarlet, with other delights, who put on ornaments of gold upon your apparel." You weren't deceived into believing that they were mighty when they were not, just because they fell! They were mighty, and it's because of the craftiness of enemy, and their own belief that their might was of themselves, that they fell. Isn't it in battle where the saints fall? It's not in all of those other places! 1:25 reads "How are the mighty fallen in the midst of the battle!" Whether we desire to admit it or not; we have tears in us, like King David, for those who have fallen in the kingdom. We wrestle with ambivalence. Should we read his or her old books, listen to their old tapes, or watch their old sermons? I've had many a day in the city when I had to stop myself from crying for my enemy who was once anointed!