Dedicated to all those who battle with depression at times

A

Alan Heeley

No title…

just needed to get it off my chest…

Like a lighting bolt
It hit me, right in the middle of the chest
Fell back in the chair.
knocked off my feet
It was worse than a waves swirling around me
No time for an emergency prayer
A full on sudden attack!
No warning
No feel low for a while
Not suicidal,
but,
Never been overwhelmed by depression so fast,
Sat there numbed
Staring into space
Not knowing what to do
Seconds turned in to moments, turned into hours,
Unable to move…
No cause identified
No reason, no rhythm…
Caught off guard
overwhelmed
Not physical, like a heart attack
What ever it was
Just all in the mind…
As I dragged my self out of this comatose state
nobody noticed, thank God!
can’t cope with the fuss
Just acknowledge
‘I’m struggling at the moment,
Will do’…
As quick as it came
It was gone.
leaving me battered and bruised…
But I’m still standing
Thank God
It didn’t the better of me…
this time!🙏🏼

Attachment.png
 
Alan Heeley said:
As I dragged my self out of this comatose state
nobody noticed, thank God!
can’t cope with the fuss
Just acknowledge
‘I’m struggling at the moment,
Click to expand...
I became a great actress. No one would have guessed the great suffering I was experiencing... all in SILENCE and all ALONE.
I would have periods ( months on end ) where I would basically hermit myself because I simply could not face the ACTING game...
plus... it simply took all my energy just to breath. It's very amazing to me how strong the mind is. How I was able to survive such
suffering for so long.
Somehow... I instinctively understood that suicide was NEVER an option. It's as though that RULE got imputed in my spirit so
no matter how deeply into the pit of despair I fell... I would wait it out. It would never completely leave me... but there were cycles
of "from bad to worse".

We are so blessed to have a SAVIOUR... a LOVING and CARING FATHER who we can run to in times of DISTRESS.

I take my mental health very seriously... somehow these days.... it seems that my mental health is directly connected to my spiritual health.
I am SO GRATEFUL.... truly GRATEFUL that I was delivered from the fowler's snare. I never question WHY I had to suffer for so long... I am simply in AWE of the fact that NOW I am overflowing with such GREAT JOY.... Oh my goodness... ONE second of this JOY erases all the decades of sorrow.

I think those who suffer in silence are able to grasp life at a deeper level. Perhaps they have more empathy or something. I often think of Paul... when he said in Philippians 4:11-13

11 Not that I speak from [any personal] need, for I have learned to be content [and self-sufficient through Christ, satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or uneasy] regardless of my circumstances. 12 I know how to get along and live humbly [in difficult times], and I also know how to enjoy abundance and live in prosperity. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret [of facing life], whether well-fed or going hungry, whether having an abundance or being in need. 13 I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]

Another brilliant writing Alan. Thank you.
 
In Awe of Him said:
I became a great actress. No one would have guessed the great suffering I was experiencing... all in SILENCE and all ALONE.
I would have periods ( months on end ) where I would basically hermit myself because I simply could not face the ACTING game...
plus... it simply took all my energy just to breath. It's very amazing to me how strong the mind is. How I was able to survive such
suffering for so long.
Somehow... I instinctively understood that suicide was NEVER an option. It's as though that RULE got imputed in my spirit so
no matter how deeply into the pit of despair I fell... I would wait it out. It would never completely leave me... but there were cycles
of "from bad to worse".

We are so blessed to have a SAVIOUR... a LOVING and CARING FATHER who we can run to in times of DISTRESS.

I take my mental health very seriously... somehow these days.... it seems that my mental health is directly connected to my spiritual health.
I am SO GRATEFUL.... truly GRATEFUL that I was delivered from the fowler's snare. I never question WHY I had to suffer for so long... I am simply in AWE of the fact that NOW I am overflowing with such GREAT JOY.... Oh my goodness... ONE second of this JOY erases all the decades of sorrow.

I think those who suffer in silence are able to grasp life at a deeper level. Perhaps they have more empathy or something. I often think of Paul... when he said in Philippians 4:11-13

11 Not that I speak from [any personal] need, for I have learned to be content [and self-sufficient through Christ, satisfied to the point where I am not disturbed or uneasy] regardless of my circumstances. 12 I know how to get along and live humbly [in difficult times], and I also know how to enjoy abundance and live in prosperity. In any and every circumstance I have learned the secret [of facing life], whether well-fed or going hungry, whether having an abundance or being in need. 13 I can do all things [which He has called me to do] through Him who strengthens and empowers me [to fulfill His purpose—I am self-sufficient in Christ’s sufficiency; I am ready for anything and equal to anything through Him who infuses me with inner strength and confident peace.]

Another brilliant writing Alan. Thank you.
Click to expand...
Only really understood when experienced❤️
 
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