Devil's Attacking My Marriage

What would you do


  • Total voters
    10
#21
I did try to look through some of your posts but I must have missed your response. You're pretty active on here, so it's hard to keep up ;)

What I understood is that your ministry comes before your wife, and if she ever became a hindrance you wouldn't have any problem moving on without her.

You also said pretty clearly that you don't answer to God for anyone but yourself. While this is true in the sense that your wife or other family members are accountable for their own sins, you are accountable for how you lead them and love them. Paul mentions in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 that men are judged by how they lead their families--so you could be disqualified from leadership if your kids were wild and rebellious. He also tells us to love our wives the way Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). The last time I checked, the church has been a major hindrance to building Jesus' kingdom, and He hasn't left us yet.
 
#22
IMO, your wife could be having a psychological problem, so some sort of christian councelling that both of you can attend together with a qualified pastor could help.
 
#23
I did try to look through some of your posts but I must have missed your response. You're pretty active on here, so it's hard to keep up ;)

What I understood is that your ministry comes before your wife, and if she ever became a hindrance you wouldn't have any problem moving on without her.

You also said pretty clearly that you don't answer to God for anyone but yourself. While this is true in the sense that your wife or other family members are accountable for their own sins, you are accountable for how you lead them and love them. Paul mentions in 1 Timothy 3 and Titus 1 that men are judged by how they lead their families--so you could be disqualified from leadership if your kids were wild and rebellious. He also tells us to love our wives the way Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25). The last time I checked, the church has been a major hindrance to building Jesus' kingdom, and He hasn't left us yet.
OK, If you notice what I said. I said, I would ask the wife to make a choice, be part of the plan of God, or get out of the way. I never said anything about leaving her, or never anything about not believing for her. I would not allow her rebellion if that is what she chooses to effect My plan with God.

and your right, many have hindered the Lord in building his Church, but that is also why he said many are called, but few are chosen. In other words, just like the man who wanted to look Back, Jesus said a man having put his hand to the plow, looking back is not fit for the Kingdom. (Luke 9:62)

so, if the wife chooses to stay disobedient, it won't cause me to not do what i am called to do. We can't force, or beat people into obeying God, and someone that has made a choice not to obey God, is not fit for the Kingdom Work.

No person, having made a choice to rebel, will stand in my way of running my race.
 
#24
I agree with brother mike. Till death do u part. Have you seen the movie fireproof. Try dating her. Also I would suggest reading love languages find out how she feels love and how u feel love. Now I've only be married for four years but everyone else thinks its been a lifetime. Lol like I said dont forget what it was like when u were dateing. flowers, letters, a night in, show her that u still desire her, she may continue to ignore you but at least u are trying and remember talk to God. He will give u peace.
 
#25
I think the question you should be asking is why you cheated on her in the first place.

I hardly think the devil is attacking the marriage. She has every right to feel very angry.
 
#26
I think she still loves you. Otherwise, why would she live with you and be faithful to you during all this time? In my opinion she is just feeling hurt and she feels insecure because she doesn't know if she can trust you or not. Do not abandon your wife when she needs you the most. Give her lots of love and you'll win her back. Also, submit yourself to God so that she can see that you are a new person now.
 
#27
You are in a really tough situation....
It's hard to un-cross a river....

The good side is... You realize there is a problem and want to work on it....

My own opinion.... Find some good Christian Counseling..... Your pastor may or may not be well equipped to deal with you guys.... BUT... Your pastor should be able to recommend local Christian counselors who are.

While you are sorting this out..... It's time to ask God for some help.... Pray for Guidance... Do not neglect prayer and fasting.... Realize that as the husband - it's YOUR job to seek God's help in your marriage.... You must realize that you are powerless to "Fix" this back up.... Only God can do that... BUT... YOU can Intercede for God's help with your marriage.... You must lean hard on God's divine strength and will for help....

Thanks
 
#28
Hi everyone,

Thanks for reading.

I'm married to my 7th grade sweetheart and now 15 years later our marriage is on it's last lifeline. I recently was saved and dedicated my life to Christ, but she's still on her journey to get there.

Here's the problem: About a year ago she told me she's not in love with me anymore. Our intimacy has dropped to 0 with 6-8 months spans between sex. She feels hurt because I cheated on her out of a lack of my own character and integrity. It wasn't sexual, but as she says it, the emotional connection to another woman hurt more. I've done everything I can to make this up to her with no success.
She is very civil with me and at times you couldn't even tell anything was wrong, but our relationship has been worn down to a mutual living situation or what I call roommates. She's says she's trying to find herself and learn to love herself, but in the meantime, I've gone from a confident, well rounded man to no confidence, self-esteem and an emotional wreck. I feel I deserve it at times and I know every sin has a consequence. But I'm having a hard time allowing myself to crumble and lose my quest for life during her discovery phase or healing phase.

It's been 3 years since the incident and now I feel like she's stopped trying. I have to beg her for kisses, beg to sleep in our bed (currently on the couch for the last 4 years) and most recently moving her brother into our house against my agreement.

My question is this: At what point do I just move on? Am I supposed to always put her first even if she's not putting me first? Does God want us to stay in situations that may be hard for the flesh, but needed for the spirit even if it means dying to everything we love?

I ask myself these same questions everyday. Should i move on. My situation is a little diff than yours as my wife had multiple affairs and i suspect still is. This is what i have discovered through prayer and bible study and celebrate recovery at church. One I must show unconditional love regardless of how much i am rejected or if she puts any effort forth. I have to give it to god and focus on him not her. Two i feel i am being shown what unconditional love truly means and how Jesus loves us and how we turn from god and reject his love. Three I believe I'm being shown by god the story of Hosea and Gomer and how to be faithful to gods will and not my own. This is the hardest thing i have done in my life but without gods strength i wouldn't have made it this far. he won't let me stop loving her with all my heart regardless of what she does and he won't let me give up or abandon her. I try not to rely on my understanding and have faith but i struggle with it. So to answer your question no you do not give up as you made a vow before god for better or worse and regardless if she divorcees you or not you will be bound by god for life. For me divorce is the second worse thing i could do with having my own affair being the first which by the grace of god i have no desire to do. Never forget the power of prayer and pray daily , pray often, and seek his word. I will pray for you as well.
 
#29
Psalm 37:4-7
Take delight in the Lord,
and he will give you the desires of your heart.
Commit your way to the Lord;
trust in him and he will do this:
He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn,
your vindication like the noonday sun.
Be still before the Lord
and wait patiently for him;
do not fret when people succeed in their ways,
when they carry out their wicked schemes.

Just be a good husband sir. GOD called you to be a good husband therefore your being a good husband doesn't depend on your wife but depends who our GOD is. As long as HE is GOD, so are we being a good husband.

JESUS will take care of the rest sir. Just let HIM do his thing! :)