Europeans are now deporting Americans...


EU leaders congratulated themselves today with enacting harsher immigration and refugee laws that, after many years of political and social turmoil, will finally allow them to save unique European culture by deporting all Americans living in Europe back to their homeland.

Problems for Europe first began over a decade ago, when many Americans, dissatisfied with conditions in their own country, sought a better life in Europe. What began as a trickle slowly turned into a flood, with American migrants creating their own enclaves in many European cities, where Americans only spoke their native language and practiced American customs.

Commonly known as "Little Texas," these enclaves became notorious "no go" zones, where armed militias enforced American laws and prevented local police from entering their turf. This allowed the spreading of ominous activities, such as, holding barbecue parties, playing American music, reciting the Pledge of Allegiance, operating 19HP John Deere riding lawnmowers, shooting illegal 4th-of-July fireworks, or driving around in pickup trucks while listening to hate speech on talk radio.

Despite expectations that at least the second- or third-generation Americans would integrate into European society, this did not take place. The proliferation of Costco, Wal-Mart, and country music did not help matters either. Unusual American garb like cowboy boots and ten-gallon hats, combined with their penchant for guns and barbeque sauce, alienated many in sophisticated European capitals. The construction of Texas-style mega-churches was seen by many as an affront to their secular lifestyles