Growing older gracefully

Dec 19, 2014
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Do you believe as you grow older that you become kinder or wiser, or do you believe as people get older they just become crankier and grumpy?

Ive noticed working amonst retired people that there are two kinds of people, ones that are kind and care about others ones that are mean and only care about themselves, and it just becomes more pronounced as people get older.

As christians elders ought to be the ones who are kind and wise dont you think? How can you grow older gracefully? Is it intentional or only what God can help you with?
 
Dec 19, 2014
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There was one lady at the retirement village who my co workers always said was always complaining or moaning but she goes to my church and I never see her that way. She just has commonsense and is quite honest about stuff thats all plus she has to look after her daughter in a wheelchair and thats not easy.

I think sometimes she can come across as a negative nellie but once you get to know her shes really kind. Once we found her a job to do picking flowers she didnt complain about volutneering to garden again. Or if she did it wasnt in earshot of everyone else!

Its the other lady who was into horoscopes and things that I had to watch out for as shes been really nice to peoples face, sometimes too flattering but then will turn around and stab you in the back and humilate you. We kinda wondered just what happened to her husband...

A lot of widows in that village, some coped admiringly others became very demanding and played on their helplessness.

With older people its hard to change as they become set in their ways. But im sure its never to late for them to know God.
 
Feb 10, 2015
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As one that is growing older...

People are individuals. At all stages in life there will be those that are a blessing to those around them and those that are less so.

But, many that are aging watch their bodies grow less reliable as well as finding their mental processes also waning. It takes a special outlook to take this with equiamity.

For myself I am greatfull that I am doing so with my wife at my side. Beyond that I make a special point of striving to be a blessing to those around me.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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Widows can take it hardest, although Ive known widowers who have coped well. One of the retirement village I worked in was one of those that did not have care facilities so everyone there valued their independence even though some were getting older and getting around on walkers. But some were noticeably crabby and anti social and some were generous and social butterflies...at both extremes.

There were also those who were divorcees and not widows. Of the couples they could possibly have been happier because even if they did argue and complain they did it amongst themselves rather than bother others I guess.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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When they all got together as a group I would hear them talk about their ailments, and if someone had the worse one than others they would compete to see who had it worse. But otherwise the men would talk about the rugby or everyone would reminisce about the good old days and how the world was now going to pot. If you were young and in earshot you would get the blame for how things werent as they used to be!
 
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But otherwise the men would talk about the rugby or everyone would reminisce about the good old days and how the world was now going to pot.
Around here, it is talk of deer hunting rather than rugby. As a young man, I used to go on a lot of trail camping in the mountains and do nature photography (is that nostalgia for the good old days?). I never could get the hang of hunting, even after I took up target shooting rifles as therapy after surgery (got me out of bed and the house, into the outdoors).

Anyway, some of how older people discuss ailments allows them to share each others burdens, as well as some giving of pointers as to how to not let new infirmities take the activities of life, and the people that we interacted with at those activities away.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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I think as my dad is growing older hes not being very gracious about it, but ever since I was young he would always talk about the 50s when he grew up and they had trams and always listen to that eras music and refuse to listen to anything new. Nows sometimes he will complain there are no new songs on played on the radio but by new it means ones he hasnt heard before from the 50s.

Do some people just stop noticing anything new after their growing up years?! Its like they always compare the current times to the time when they were young. Why is this? I grew up in the 80s and I dont constantly hark back to them. Or even the 90s. Mum would say he keeps complaining about stuff he cant do anything about.

I hope its not some form of dementia or alzheimers otherwise hes still got all his faculties. He only has senior moments now and again when he leaves the house and forgets either his cellphone or wallet. Then has to drive all the way to get it. But then Ive sometimes done that too...so its not as if only old people do that. Sometimes you just forget stuff.
 
Dec 19, 2014
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Around here, it is talk of deer hunting rather than rugby. As a young man, I used to go on a lot of trail camping in the mountains and do nature photography (is that nostalgia for the good old days?). I never could get the hang of hunting, even after I took up target shooting rifles as therapy after surgery (got me out of bed and the house, into the outdoors).

Anyway, some of how older people discuss ailments allows them to share each others burdens, as well as some giving of pointers as to how to not let new infirmities take the activities of life, and the people that we interacted with at those activities away.
Target shooting...with a gun or a camera? Or both?
 

rtm3039

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Around here, it is talk of deer hunting rather than rugby. As a young man, I used to go on a lot of trail camping in the mountains and do nature photography (is that nostalgia for the good old days?). I never could get the hang of hunting, even after I took up target shooting rifles as therapy after surgery (got me out of bed and the house, into the outdoors).

Anyway, some of how older people discuss ailments allows them to share each others burdens, as well as some giving of pointers as to how to not let new infirmities take the activities of life, and the people that we interacted with at those activities away.
When I was 20, I wore blue jeans, listed to Kansas, and made a living chasing "bad guys." I am now 60, I wear blue jeans, listen to Kansas, and go around chasing "bad guys." Back then, I jumped over fences and would rather fight than talk. Now I tend to walk around fences and would rather talk than fight.
 
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Dec 19, 2014
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When I was 20, I wore blue jeans, listed to Kansas, and made a living chasing "bad guys." I am now 60, I wear blue jeans, listen to Kansas, and go around chasing "bad guys." Back then, I jumped over fences and would rather fight than talk. Now I tend to walk around fences and would rather talk than fight.
Are they the same pair of jeans? Wow theyve lasted a long time if they are. I dont think my dad is still wearing the same clothes as he wore when he was young but he doesnt change them very much...just wears them till they all got holes im them. Then me and mum have to tell him to buy new ones.
 

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Are they the same pair of jeans? Wow theyve lasted a long time if they are. I dont think my dad is still wearing the same clothes as he wore when he was young but he doesnt change them very much...just wears them till they all got holes im them. Then me and mum have to tell him to buy new ones.
No, these one's are a bit larger.

The main point I was making it that, while I have obviously grown older, I really have no changed much. Yes, I am slower, parts of me hurt a bit, but I have been blessed with a steady like that has not changes all that much. Well, except having five children, five grandchildren, a wife, and many years of experience.
 
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I heard of the phrase 'blessed to be a blessing'
I suppose the opposite is 'cursed to be a cursing'.

I hope all of us who've been blessed, continue to be a blessing to others as we grow older. After all shouldnt we share the blessings round?

I shudder at those who are cursing and bullying when they are young, cos what will they be like when they are older?
They will just get worse! It was a bit strange to be reminded at the retirment villages that oldies dont like swearing and cursing and profanity so watch your language . I never had a problem with this.. but then, I got sworn at by an older person and it was horrible. Somehow, its worse when older people do it.



Now teachers dont swear in front of their children...but outside of school, Ive seen some get drunk and swear like sailors. So, I dont know whats up with that. Is bad behaviour just acceptable as you get older. And in teenagers, is it just expected?
 

rtm3039

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I heard of the phrase 'blessed to be a blessing'
I suppose the opposite is 'cursed to be a cursing'.

I hope all of us who've been blessed, continue to be a blessing to others as we grow older. After all shouldnt we share the blessings round?

I shudder at those who are cursing and bullying when they are young, cos what will they be like when they are older?
They will just get worse! It was a bit strange to be reminded at the retirment villages that oldies dont like swearing and cursing and profanity so watch your language . I never had a problem with this.. but then, I got sworn at by an older person and it was horrible. Somehow, its worse when older people do it.



Now teachers dont swear in front of their children...but outside of school, Ive seen some get drunk and swear like sailors. So, I dont know whats up with that. Is bad behaviour just acceptable as you get older. And in teenagers, is it just expected?
Lanolin, where are you headed with all of this?

To me, bad behavior is bad behavior, regardless of who is doing the behavioring. Ok, let me see if I can figure this our with a series of questions:

q: How do you define 'bad behavior'?
q: How do you define an "older person"?
q: How do you believe an "older person" should act?
q: Are there any bad behaviors you would expect from a young person that you would not from an older person?
q: You say that being sworn to by an older person is worse that from a younger person. Why is that?

rtm3039
 
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rtm3039

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I think its worse with older people because you think they should know better through experience, that they have attained some wisdom and would stop acting childishly.
Theres a verse in 1 corinthians...13:11
1 Corinthians 3:11 New International Version (NIV)
11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.

Not sure I get what you mean. Not everyone is able to use their live experiences as a form of wisdom and wisdom does not always require that you be old.
 
Feb 10, 2015
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1 Corinthians 3:11 New International Version (NIV)
11 For no one can lay any foundation other than the one already laid, which is Jesus Christ.

Not sure I get what you mean. Not everyone is able to use their live experiences as a form of wisdom and wisdom does not always require that you be old.
I think you misread the reference.

1 Corinthians 13:11 (NASB)​
When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
 

rtm3039

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I think you misread the reference.

1 Corinthians 13:11 (NASB)​
When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.
Yes, it appears I did. Thanks. This passage takes some contemplating as to what are "childish things" are. Childish things like hope, unconditional love, lack of malice all sound pretty good to me. "Truly I tell you, anyone who will not receive the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.” Mark 10: 15 (NIV)

rtm3039
 
Dec 19, 2014
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Maybe its referring to the previous verses, speaking in tongues, prophecy, givng gifts to feed the poor,and bodies to be burned ?! But charity never fails. Or some versions say love.

A child has an incomplete understanding of God. But they have a hunger for God to depend on him unlike an adult who may be self sufficient. I think it means when you finish your discipleship and graduate to apostleship ie. start ministering.

For example, Peter acted very childishly and often cowardly and rashly when he was following Jesus. But after Jesus was crucified and rose again, then told Peter to feed my sheep and my lambs, Peter became bold and on fire for God...and he healed many people and could testify. Cos through it all was he was showing Gods love.

Also he went and ate with the gentiles even though his religious upbringing was to stay apart from the gentiles.