Having a difficult time loving/accepting myself....(pls don't judge)

autumn oddity

autumn oddity

For one, at the age of 23 im still dependent on my parents /live in a hotel

and im gonna leave it at that.. (well i guess I said it all lol XD)

I have little life experience because Ive beeen so sheltered...
things i should have been doing at 18... Im trying to do now...

Im playing catch up and... at my age its sooo embarassing.
esp when my friends.. are younger than me and doing way better
I feel like a child in wearing their mother's heels..

Im trying to change, but its so embarassing..I feel I have nothing in my head
I feel so old, I feel like withdrawing and hiding...

I feel so stupid, ashamed, and I don't know what to do..
I feel I have nothing to offer.
 
ASUK said:
Get out and live a little.
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That's what Ive been trying to do : /

im already wokring.. but im abt to loose that job.. I made friends.. but bc ive been so sheltered.. I feel I can't relate and have nothing to offer... I feel weird.. when we're in a group... and I want to shrink, and hide in the library : I
 
Pancakes, don't feel embarrassed. Everyone lives and learns at her own pace and through her own experiences. It doesn't matter if your friends seem to be ahead of you. You are a jewel in your own right, and don't have to prove yourself to anybody. You are simply lacking in confidence, but fear not. There is hope for you.

I grew up sheltered and shy, and I hated it, especially when I saw other girls around me laughing and having fun, and they were not afraid around boys. It helped that I went to college 92 miles from home. But I think things began to really change for me after I put my life in Jesus' hands, and then became determined to bloom where I was planted. I spent much time reading the Bible, because I never had before, and I was fascinated. God is so marvelous! I got a job that some would call simple, but I was naturally curious, and began poking around computers after I had finished my assignments. The more I learned, the more I was able to offer to my employers. They loved it, were appreciative, and my job became more fun. This all gave me confidence. If you are a good listener, you can become a good communicator, learning what to say, what you should have said, what you shouldn't have said, polishing your skills over time. This worked for me. I am not perfect, but I like myself so much now, more than ever before in my life. I sure hope is helps. Stay close to God the whole time. The Holy Spirit will guide you in your growth.
 
pancakes said:
For one, at the age of 23 im still dependent on my parents /live in a hotel

and im gonna leave it at that.. (well i guess I said it all lol XD)

I have little life experience because Ive beeen so sheltered...
things i should have been doing at 18... Im trying to do now...

Im playing catch up and... at my age its sooo embarassing.
esp when my friends.. are younger than me and doing way better
I feel like a child in wearing their mother's heels..

Im trying to change, but its so embarassing..I feel I have nothing in my head
I feel so old, I feel like withdrawing and hiding...

I feel so stupid, ashamed, and I don't know what to do..
I feel I have nothing to offer.
Click to expand...

Pancakes, if it's any consolation, I'm 54 and rarely managed to live without my parents. I live with them now.

As for the last bit. I don't see you as stupid at all. It may not be all you want but you do offer your thoughts and contributions on this this forum. Please do not see that as having nothing to offer.
 
I know its hard to conceive, but your imaginations (the things you allow your mind to convince you of) produce much of your emotional response. Change your mind and your whole outlook will follow including how you feel about yourself. Transform yourself by the renewing of your mind. If you could just grasp and accept how the Lord sees you now that you are His child there is no way you could "feel" so dejected and low. Life is difficult but you are a daughter of a King. You have a different Spirit dwelling in you that has made you a new creation (a new kind of creature). You have life and power in two realms (the eternal and the temporal) and a helper with you that can and will develop you if you go along with His plan.

Start by recognizing who you really are....look up "Who you are in Christ"....write these down and fill your thinking with these facts...when the mind begins to go to the place that brings you down, rebuke those imaginations and declare what God says is true (not as some magical technique, but because they are true) about you. Then walk in that confidence and glory that He has put upon you. He will work all these things together for your good.

God bless

Paul
 
It's not weird! I think that a collective of young Christians could help you. Do you have any youth group in your church? Or if you don't attend any church, you could try it and find some group. Healthy collective of friendly people may help you.
(In fact, if I remember what has helped me to become "ok-i-am-probably-adult", it was having a dog and going through hard relationship where it was needed to quickly find piece of self-confidence to run away - not very nice way how to become an adult.)
 
Cinderella8 said:
Pancakes, don't feel embarrassed. Everyone lives and learns at her own pace and through her own experiences. It doesn't matter if your friends seem to be ahead of you. You are a jewel in your own right, and don't have to prove yourself to anybody. You are simply lacking in confidence, but fear not. There is hope for you.

I grew up sheltered and shy, and I hated it, especially when I saw other girls around me laughing and having fun, and they were not afraid around boys. It helped that I went to college 92 miles from home. But I think things began to really change for me after I put my life in Jesus' hands, and then became determined to bloom where I was planted. I spent much time reading the Bible, because I never had before, and I was fascinated. God is so marvelous! I got a job that some would call simple, but I was naturally curious, and began poking around computers after I had finished my assignments. The more I learned, the more I was able to offer to my employers. They loved it, were appreciative, and my job became more fun. This all gave me confidence. If you are a good listener, you can become a good communicator, learning what to say, what you should have said, what you shouldn't have said, polishing your skills over time. This worked for me. I am not perfect, but I like myself so much now, more than ever before in my life. I sure hope is helps. Stay close to God the whole time. The Holy Spirit will guide you in your growth.
Click to expand...


I love this c=

Im trying...
 
Robine said:
It's not weird! I think that a collective of young Christians could help you. Do you have any youth group in your church? Or if you don't attend any church, you could try it and find some group. Healthy collective of friendly people may help you.
(In fact, if I remember what has helped me to become "ok-i-am-probably-adult", it was having a dog and going through hard relationship where it was needed to quickly find piece of self-confidence to run away - not very nice way how to become an adult.)
Click to expand...

OT but, hmm that sort of reminds me of my one relationship. It was complicated for other reasons and fell apart but she bred bulldogs. Can you imagine waking up to find there is a one on the bed who would snarl right in your face. The dog was really more angry with her mistress than with me.
 
pancakes said:
For one, at the age of 23 im still dependent on my parents /live in a hotel

and im gonna leave it at that.. (well i guess I said it all lol XD)

I have little life experience because Ive beeen so sheltered...
things i should have been doing at 18... Im trying to do now...

Im playing catch up and... at my age its sooo embarassing.
esp when my friends.. are younger than me and doing way better
I feel like a child in wearing their mother's heels..

Im trying to change, but its so embarassing..I feel I have nothing in my head
I feel so old, I feel like withdrawing and hiding...

I feel so stupid, ashamed, and I don't know what to do..
I feel I have nothing to offer.
Click to expand...
If it's consolation, guys in India often never leave their parents :D I moved to US from India for work when I was 23 years old.. Boy, I was so homesick!! Did I feel embarrassed then? Probably.. And I never told anyone I had felt.. These days I don't feel bad at all.. I realize that I was privileged to spend more time with my family.. Take it as a gift from Lord that he allowed you to spend more time with them.. And as we all grow old, we all would miss the time we spend with our parents..
 
I think the sermon at my church today is very applicable to how you are feeling atm. I will try to remember to post a link for you when it comes out online (my church is late on posting the online versions so it might be a few weeks). Don't forget all the progress you have made so far! You have a job now, you have friends, you are learning to drive... You are doing really good! You just have to stop beating yourself up. Easier said than done I know. Try to catch yourself before you naturally bully yourself. I like what Brother Paul said too. You are worth so much more than you think!
 
You need to focus on Jesus instead of yourself. He's in control. You have to persuade your heart that Jesus did it all for you already. The devil takes our thoughts and uses our voice to say the things you're saying, defeating the work of God in you. Use and believe the scriptures.

Check out Jim Richards on you tube to help.
 
pancakes said:
For one, at the age of 23 im still dependent on my parents /live in a hotel

and im gonna leave it at that.. (well i guess I said it all lol XD)

I have little life experience because Ive beeen so sheltered...
things i should have been doing at 18... Im trying to do now...

Im playing catch up and... at my age its sooo embarassing.
esp when my friends.. are younger than me and doing way better
I feel like a child in wearing their mother's heels..

Im trying to change, but its so embarassing..I feel I have nothing in my head
I feel so old, I feel like withdrawing and hiding...

I feel so stupid, ashamed, and I don't know what to do..
I feel I have nothing to offer.
Click to expand...
There is always someone worse off then you. I don't even see how your life is bad anyways. 23 is still very young.
 
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