Holding a grudge

[Alang]

Hey guys I have a question. At my gym their is a pretty girl who works there. We always walk passed each other and smile towards each other but never really talk. 2 weeks ago she added me on facebook and we chatted for a long time and she gave me her number later on and we began talking regularly. She told me she was attracted to me and we made plans to hang out. This girl is hispanic and Christian so her parents are very strict she says. Very church going family with morals.... at least thats what they say. When we were suppose to go out for lunch she made up an excuse so I just took as she lost interest.
The next day she came up to me at the gym and we started talking again. She explained she really was busy and couldnt go out so I offered her again if she wanted too and she said her brother is very strict and makes sure who shes going out with. At that point I just gave up and forgot about it. The next few days at the gym I didnt even talk to her or say hi. She than messages me out of no where when she lost my attention and tells me "Hey I think you're a really cool guy but I dont see you as anything more than a friend but we should workout sometimes"

Clearly insecure because I stopped giving her attention. Was very disrespctful on her part since shes the one who looked me up through the gym data base and did all the initiating. So I deleted her from facebook. The passed week I dont even look her direction. My friend says she always looks at me as if she wants to talk.

Anyways my question is ... am I in the wrong. Kind of have a guilty conscious. Forgot to add shes only 18 so still not very mature. Regardless of how good her or her family is.

 

[Greg B]

Brother, let me be honest with you (and everyone else can attack me if necessary )

You are in the wrong. For only one reason: you are suppose to be a Godly man.

Let's just assume for all intensive purposes (and there is no reason to assume otherwise) that this young lady is truly a child of God. She took a step of courage to pursue you (which I think is rather strange) only to come to a realization, or possibly conviction, that she needs to slow down, consulted her family (brother), and is trying to start over with much clearer intentions: saying she wants to be friends (in her own way, of course).

If the above is how the story goes then God bless her. You on the other hand: if this is truly a daughter of God then you need to respect her accordingly. As a guy I understand your situation can feel a little confusing, but don't let your pride get the best of you, because God has an aggressive love for His daughters.

My practical suggestions: Don't ignore her. Don't stop talking to her. Let her see some of that Christ in you. And stop the long chats on facebook - that's not good for either of you

 

[Fish_of_Faith]

and everyone else can attack me if necessary

Not going to happen.

 

[Fish_of_Faith]

Hey guys I have a question. At my gym their is a pretty girl who works there. We always walk passed each other and smile towards each other but never really talk. 2 weeks ago she added me on facebook and we chatted for a long time and she gave me her number later on and we began talking regularly. She told me she was attracted to me and we made plans to hang out. This girl is hispanic and Christian so her parents are very strict she says. Very church going family with morals.... at least thats what they say. When we were suppose to go out for lunch she made up an excuse so I just took as she lost interest.
The next day she came up to me at the gym and we started talking again. She explained she really was busy and couldnt go out so I offered her again if she wanted too and she said her brother is very strict and makes sure who shes going out with. At that point I just gave up and forgot about it. The next few days at the gym I didnt even talk to her or say hi. She than messages me out of no where when she lost my attention and tells me "Hey I think you're a really cool guy but I dont see you as anything more than a friend but we should workout sometimes"

Clearly insecure because I stopped giving her attention. Was very disrespctful on her part since shes the one who looked me up through the gym data base and did all the initiating. So I deleted her from facebook. The passed week I dont even look her direction. My friend says she always looks at me as if she wants to talk.

Anyways my question is ... am I in the wrong. Kind of have a guilty conscious. Forgot to add shes only 18 so still not very mature. Regardless of how good her or her family is.

My advice would be not to get angered about it.
Yes she may be disrespectful and leaving you hanging so I would advise you to say a prayer for her and move on. If she wants to be friends that's good and you ca be; honesty between both parties is the best policy.

 

[Alang]

Ok so should I text her and tell her I need to talk with her at the gym and explain myself.

 

[Greg B]

That would be fine.

My biggest advice is this: don't expect any particular reaction. Just be genuine and respectful and let her react as she pleases. It might go super awesome. It might be super awkward. But it's your job to be caring. Us guys have a way of talking with one another - don't talk to her that way haha

 

[Alang]

That would be fine.

My biggest advice is this: don't expect any particular reaction. Just be genuine and respectful and let her react as she pleases. It might go super awesome. It might be super awkward. But it's your job to be caring. Us guys have a way of talking with one another - don't talk to her that way haha

Man I couldnt even do it lol. Just got back from the gym. Walked passed her a few times and that cheeky grin on her face just confirms she'll be childish about it. I will just smile if she comes my way again. I think thats polite.

 

[Fish Catcher Jim]

Hey guys I have a question. At my gym their is a pretty girl who works there. We always walk passed each other and smile towards each other but never really talk. 2 weeks ago she added me on facebook and we chatted for a long time and she gave me her number later on and we began talking regularly. She told me she was attracted to me and we made plans to hang out. This girl is hispanic and Christian so her parents are very strict she says. Very church going family with morals.... at least thats what they say. When we were suppose to go out for lunch she made up an excuse so I just took as she lost interest.
The next day she came up to me at the gym and we started talking again. She explained she really was busy and couldnt go out so I offered her again if she wanted too and she said her brother is very strict and makes sure who shes going out with. At that point I just gave up and forgot about it. The next few days at the gym I didnt even talk to her or say hi. She than messages me out of no where when she lost my attention and tells me "Hey I think you're a really cool guy but I dont see you as anything more than a friend but we should workout sometimes"

Clearly insecure because I stopped giving her attention. Was very disrespctful on her part since shes the one who looked me up through the gym data base and did all the initiating. So I deleted her from facebook. The passed week I dont even look her direction. My friend says she always looks at me as if she wants to talk.

Anyways my question is ... am I in the wrong. Kind of have a guilty conscious. Forgot to add shes only 18 so still not very mature. Regardless of how good her or her family is.

Mark 11:25
When you stand praying Forgive if you have any aught against any ( grudge ) so your Heavenly Father which is in Heaven May Forgive You your trespasses.

We are commanded to walk in Love so this means we can Not hold grudges or base Our Actions on Anything other then the Holy Word of God.

With that said.......there you find out how you should Act and React. Her actions mean nothing to how you should Act at all times.

Scripture also tells us to Work Hard at Living in Peace with everyone. It does Not say depending on how they act or what they do or did.

No it says we are to work hard to do so and you can not walk in Love as commanded with out doing so and Faith Will Not work without walking in love as comanded.

So you must choose to either handle this God's way or the way of man and man's thinking. You Choose bro.
God Blessed us with His Word for Our Good.
James

 

[autumn oddity]

Brother, let me be honest with you (and everyone else can attack me if necessary )

You are in the wrong. For only one reason: you are suppose to be a Godly man.

Let's just assume for all intensive purposes (and there is no reason to assume otherwise) that this young lady is truly a child of God. She took a step of courage to pursue you (which I think is rather strange) only to come to a realization, or possibly conviction, that she needs to slow down, consulted her family (brother), and is trying to start over with much clearer intentions: saying she wants to be friends (in her own way, of course).

If the above is how the story goes then God bless her. You on the other hand: if this is truly a daughter of God then you need to respect her accordingly. As a guy I understand your situation can feel a little confusing, but don't let your pride get the best of you, because God has an aggressive love for His daughters.

My practical suggestions: Don't ignore her. Don't stop talking to her. Let her see some of that Christ in you. And stop the long chats on facebook - that's not good for either of you

My sentiments exactly

 

[CCW95A]

Consider the possibility that God is trying to protect you from unforeseen events that you are not aware, but he is.
As the scripture says.....

Pro 30:19.. The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.

The way of the eagle in the air is unlimited in which path the eagle can take, so also with a serpent upon a rock, or the way of a ship upon the seas, so also the ways of a man toward a women. There are games that men and women do to the opposite sex. Ignoring someone whom you are attracted to is another way a man tries to catch a women, and so also women towards men.

 

[Alang]

Mark 11:25
When you stand praying Forgive if you have any aught against any ( grudge ) so your Heavenly Father which is in Heaven May Forgive You your trespasses.

We are commanded to walk in Love so this means we can Not hold grudges or base Our Actions on Anything other then the Holy Word of God.

With that said.......there you find out how you should Act and React. Her actions mean nothing to how you should Act at all times.

Scripture also tells us to Work Hard at Living in Peace with everyone. It does Not say depending on how they act or what they do or did.

No it says we are to work hard to do so and you can not walk in Love as commanded with out doing so and Faith Will Not work without walking in love as comanded.

So you must choose to either handle this God's way or the way of man and man's thinking. You Choose bro.
God Blessed us with His Word for Our Good.
James

Ok im thinking of just texting her something ... I dont know what to say. I would do it in person but she kind of avoids me now ... or pretends shes on the phone whenever she walks by me

 

[Alang]

Consider the possibility that God is trying to protect you from unforeseen events that you are not aware, but he is.
As the scripture says.....

Pro 30:19.. The way of an eagle in the air; the way of a serpent upon a rock; the way of a ship in the midst of the sea; and the way of a man with a maid.

The way of the eagle in the air is unlimited in which path the eagle can take, so also with a serpent upon a rock, or the way of a ship upon the seas, so also the ways of a man toward a women. There are games that men and women do to the opposite sex. Ignoring someone whom you are attracted to is another way a man tries to catch a women, and so also women towards men.

Thats so insightful.. I was thinking the same thing. Something bad was gonna happen and God protected me from it . Because her behavior doesnt add up even for a young girl

 

[Man-ofGod]

Thats so insightful.. I was thinking the same thing. Something bad was gonna happen and God protected me from it . Because her behavior doesnt add up even for a young girl

As you probably said, she is probably insecure and is just trying to find her way, that is not uncommon for people her age. Probably not the girl for you but treat her kindly and as a friend. But if you do not have a genuine/Godly interest in her as a person, I would not pursue her.

--MoG

 

[Alang]

Well I sent her a text and apologized and tried to make peace but she didn't even reply. Oh well I did my part as a Christian and swalled my pride. I feel bad for "Christians" like her

 

[Major]

Mark 11:25
When you stand praying Forgive if you have any aught against any ( grudge ) so your Heavenly Father which is in Heaven May Forgive You your trespasses.

We are commanded to walk in Love so this means we can Not hold grudges or base Our Actions on Anything other then the Holy Word of God.

With that said.......there you find out how you should Act and React. Her actions mean nothing to how you should Act at all times.

Scripture also tells us to Work Hard at Living in Peace with everyone. It does Not say depending on how they act or what they do or did.

No it says we are to work hard to do so and you can not walk in Love as commanded with out doing so and Faith Will Not work without walking in love as comanded.

So you must choose to either handle this God's way or the way of man and man's thinking. You Choose bro.
God Blessed us with His Word for Our Good.
James

Good advice!

 

[Major]

Well I sent her a text and apologized and tried to make peace but she didn't even reply. Oh well I did my part as a Christian and swalled my pride. I feel bad for "Christians" like her

Better to find out now than to string out anything and find out later that you were not for each other.

 

[Alang]

Better to find out now than to string out anything and find out later that you were not for each other.

I dont even care about that to be honest but the fact that she was bragging to me about going to church and bible study twice a week and this and that. Than she ends up being the typical self absorbed egotistical young girl

 

[Major]

I dont even care about that to be honest but the fact that she was bragging to me about going to church and bible study twice a week and this and that. Than she ends up being the typical self absorbed egotistical young girl

As you grow older you will see that that is a very common happening. Being a Christian does not remove character flaws overnight. It removes the judgment of God upon our sin which Jesus paid for us on the cross. As we grow and learn we will be able to change the things that are now offending others.