How are you ? Good

[MatthewG]

Hello you and welcome.

Ever been walking down the street and someone asks how you are doing if you bump into them. In response that first thing that comes from you is doing fine, or doing good, or just simply good.

Over the years, of encounters with others here in the new work place this is all that is heard most of the time by people.

Hey how are you doing - as they are passing by
Good, how are you - as walking by
Good, thanks - or that is good.

Some think of it as a nonharmful jester of kindness, and for to be understanding of that is critical and crucial.

Though when thinking about the question how are you doing - there are a multiplicity of questions just off this one line.

Right now everything is going okay. How are you and your family doing, any sick or hurt?
Right now do not feel good at all. It is good to see you today, are you feeling okay today?

The only way to correct the format and not get tangled up in the cultural flow of normalcy is to simply be different.

My way of handling it now since it go so drab and old, is to say hello good morning, it is good to see you. Then wait on a response - there are multiple of variety in the responses.

If there is a problem think about it and do what you can to fix, still get caught saying good sometimes, but not as often as it was.

It is just the little things. What do you think about this in your daily experience of life?

 

[Chris1]

I think everyone struggles here to some degree. The question for me sometimes is, how much sharing is oversharing, how much really becomes lying?

After a death a few years back I had to enter into the fray of the dreaded public square for a necessary item from the store. It was the first time I'd managed to make it out of bed and I was, like most of polite society, trying to go through the "I'm fine", motions. But I was anything but fine and what's more, everyone asking knew it.

But you wonder because while they do care enough to ask, did they want the truth? (as in "Nope, nope, still falling apart here, thanks for asking") Or do they want some confirmation that at least one person in this world really is rising above, or is it just them trying to be polite?

Generally though most individuals keep concentric circles of people around them: there is the family category, the close freinds category, the just freinds category, then there are the business associates and acquaintances. Each circle then gets a different level of information, and when it comes down to it most people just don't expect the kind of truth from an acquaintance that they'd hear from a close friend or family member on a lazy Saturday over coffee.

The problem with that can be when someone doesn't have that close circle of freinds and family whom they can share everything with and as a result, they may distinctly need someone to just vent to about something personal that's troubling.

Suicide is real and those who may feel so inclined, even while surrounded by loved ones, can feel very alone in whatever trouble or frustration they face.

So it's good to occasionally wait to make sure others know your seeing them and do care whether they feel alone. Good thoughts!

God bless you...

 

[CPerkins]

This a big topic because we are not just talking about how we communicate with others. We are talking about trust and sharing. Trust in the sense that, going beyond a polite response to a casual question may be used for harm or good.

 

[MatthewG]

Hello Chris,

Thank you for your well articulated thought on this subject.
Do like your questioning for yourself you made known: How much is oversharing, and how much becomes lying? Think probably am thinking to deep on it though for me the desire to be different instead of the normal same responses.

Rather really be thankful that they are there (in their work place) - other questions can come later, even if we do not have a solid relationship or understanding of each other for the sake of Christ, in a sense because it is suffering to be selfless on part of the Lord -- Christ Yeshua was selfless all the way until He died on the Cross.

Those questions you do not come to my mind because at this point in my life willing (My mother and My own brother have think of me as crazy to be that brave and think it is stupid) to share any of my personal experiences with anyone whenever feel led to share for the most part and maybe can try to have a discussion about whatever it is that has been experienced with someone and what they think about it or if they have been through something like that.

You are right about people have their own little circle of people, that is cool people have those things but for me not really haha! So it leaves the ability to be more free from restriction. Love freedom - Christ Jesus gives us freedom from bondage but not to use our freedom to go on sinning but use freedom to live by the spirit and serve others (1 Peter 2:16; Galatians 5:13) - thankfully!

What do you mean you died? Surely that is an interesting story.


Cperkins, maybe you are right it is more than communication it is a more personal and deeper level of thinking and questioning rather than that of the same old plain simplicity of things. Will a person really respond to you in a well mannered way or will it be worse? Will they run and tell them the things you say to others and talk behind your back when you share with them the things you have done and experienced? Who knows. It can be used harmfully or people are able to hold unto information to themselves.

People only look at you in two ways, in judgement or in understanding with acceptance.

Thank you both for your comments.

 

[bobinfaith]

Hello MatthewG;

There are many people who think in the areas you described. I understand.

For myself, I have always been capable of getting along with people, not on my own, but for Praise and Glory to His Wonderful Name!

The days when I was mentoring at the men's recovery, I chose to take BART, (public transportation) and then walk to the Tenderloin in San Francisco to the center. In this part of downtown, you have to use caution.

While on the BART I could see so many sad faces. Only God knows what was on their hearts and minds. When one would cross my path I gave them a smile, eye contact and the tone of my voice, all representing Christ. Some could read me, others couldn't and some just didn't care. Still, I chose to love them and let them go.

If the words from my lips bless them, then I do it for Christ. Many times when it didn't bless them, I had to take responsibility and seek their forgiveness. When they forgive me, humbles me. When they don't, what matters is I extended my apologies. Either way is a lifelong lesson.

But there are also those who cursed me in my community, metropolitan area, with their actions, words and writing. Sure, it can sting, hurt and at times anger me. But the one thing that is constant. God is watching both sides. This took me years to learn and, alas, I'm still learning, God is watching both sides.

My experience has led me to this, today, who's house am I going to serve? Joshua 24:15, And if it is evil in your eyes to serve the LORD, choose this day whom you will serve, whether the gods your fathers served in the region beyond the River, or the gods of the Amorites in whose land you dwell. But as for me and my house, we will serve the LORD.”

Perhaps they do not want to serve the LORD. Let the world beware, and God willing, let them see my witness for Christ.

God bless you, MatthewG, and your family.

 

[Chris1]

My mother and My own brother have think of me as crazy to be that brave and think it is stupid to share any of my personal experiences with anyone whenever feel led to share

I don't think of it as brave, more or less once you learn enough about another person to know whether they are trustworthy or not, confiding in the personal with those you see to be trustworthy it's not brave, it's called friendship.

You are right about people have their own little circle of people, that is cool people have those things but for me not really haha! So it leaves the ability to be more free from restriction

I don't see family or close friendships to be restrictive at all, it's a wonderful way for your life to touch others lives, and thus a positive way to share and even grow in faith, and help others to do the same.

Not to mention, it gives you people you can lean on when your in need, and them someone they can turn to in their need.

I see it as mutually beneficial, as well as good fun to be around people you can just be yourself around... always a plus in life!

Why do you lack relationships with others? Some people feel a little socially awkward, my husband's that way.

What do you mean you died? Surely that is an interesting story.

That's not what I was saying, I was talking about when I lost someone I loved as much as life itself who died from cancer... while such things happen (we all die sometime and most people will experience such loss more than once in their lifetime) there is a grieving process we go through when someone we love dies.

Will a person really respond to you in a well mannered way or will it be worse? Will they run and tell them the things you say to others and talk behind your back when you share with them the things you have done and experienced? Who knows.

This is usually why most people don't confide in people they don't know very well. Usually you like to get to know someone well enough to discern whether or not they are a trustworthy individual, before sharing something you want to keep in confidence rather than gossip to everyone

I personally dislike gossiping and those who do it, and Scripture has some very strong words against those who do. I'm a fairly straightforward and honest person, and I think others should be so as well.

People only look at you in two ways, in judgement or in understanding with acceptance

Oh there are so many ways a person can look at another, not just two. People can look at you with admiration, disdain, indifference, comfort and peace, love, care, pity, deep respect and so forth.

There's such a plethora of ways we see other people, and one person can be seen in more than one light.

God bless you...