How do you minister to a.....

godbe4me

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Staff Member on LOA
Good day,

I have a question for you all. At work today something happened not sure what it was but I need advice on this one.

I work in an office setting where we all have our own space. Across from me is a contractor who is working on a special project for us. He always comes in and speak sits down and starts his work and very quiet. Sometimes I can get a laugh out of him but for the most part he's very quiet. Well, today is his daughter's 14th birthday and he was going out at lunch to get her gift. He was gone for a couple hours at least.

He came back drunk and I mean really drunk. I did not know until I said, where have you been in a playful way. He fell over and was talking all loud and slurry his words. I helped him up to sit down and gave him some coffee. He said, "I don't talk to nobody about my business but I feel like I can talk to you" He stood up straight and said, "I am an alcoholic. I drink everyday and this is the first time I drank this much for you to see it. It's because I love my daughter so much and I just don't want to disappoint her. I drank all day and night. I said, "that's the first step which is to say it." He said he tried all kinds of programs for drinking and they just don't work for him. I said, let me ask you something, do you believe in God. First he said no, God can't fix this. I am a broken man. Then he said, "let me not say that. Yes, I believe that there is a God but he can't fix me. My heart is broken, I am broken as a man, as a person and as a father. I told him that God can fix it. Do you think it is by accident that we are talking right now? God is reaching out to you but you first have to let go of the luggage and give it to God. I don't care how bad your days are, say, "thank You Jesus" everyday. Each day that you are here is a day, an opportunity, a chance to say "Yes" to God and let him restore you and your marriage.

Okay, now my question is to you all is: How do you minister to an alcoholic. I don't think he was ready to receive what I was trying to say but I did not want to push him. I told him to go home and say, "thank You Jesus" before you go to bed and when you wake up in the morning say, "thank You Jesus" God can hear your heart. He knows what you can't say or don't know how to say. But if you say Thank You Jesus, He will step in. And on my end, I will do intercessory prayer on your behalf and ask God to take over and deliver you. He did not seem to listen or understand. I managed to keep him out of management way. I don't know if I helped him or hurt him. I say that because I am not going to continue to do that.

Any advice would be appreciated
 
Will be joining you in prayer that God would make Himself very real to this man and show him how much He loves him. And also praying that God will bring about spiritual healing so that it will open the door for Him to fix all the broken places.

Father speak to this man's heart and show him Your love and grace. And how to forgive himself and receive the blood of Jesus as his cleansing from all his past mistakes. To realize, Father, that You hold none of his past against him, and that in Your eyes he is a loved child of Yours. One that Your waiting for him to run into Your loving arms so that You can comfort him and wrap him in peace and love. Surround him with Your goodness Lord... And give him another opportunity to understand fully the truth that will set him free. That in You... There is no condemnation for mistakes... Only the Cleansing Blood of the lamb that has redeemed him from it all... And from the curse of the law that shows him what he did wrong. Show him Lord that there is nothing he can do to remove Your love from him, and that he will never be disqualified from Your love for him and his family. Father remove the fear of being without the drink, and remove the desire for the drink or anything that will take Your place of peace. Spirit of alcholism and addiction we bind you from manifesting in this man's body any longer. In the Name of Jesus we command you to take your hands off of God's property. We bind you from speaking to his mind and hindering him from receiving total deliverance and healing. Let him see, Lord, Your open arms and unmatchless love and grace for him. Setting him free from everything that keeps him bound and in this prison created for him by the enemy. Thank You Lord for surrounding him with Your burden removing, yoke destroying annointing and thank You for breaking him free from this addiction, destroying the yoke that ties him to this unhealthy path. We praise You and bless you in Jesus Name, Amen.
 
Getting him to open up about the underlying problems is important. Generally, drinking is about trying to stop the pain in their life, emotional or spiritual. If he can get to that root cause or causes, then maybe you can ask him what solutions he can come up with. Its important to ask questions for him to find the solutions rather than you giving him them. Make sure he knows Jesus loves him and will help with the difficult road ahead. Beyond that is up to him and what he is ready for.
 
Getting him to open up about the underlying problems is important. Generally, drinking is about trying to stop the pain in their life, emotional or spiritual. If he can get to that root cause or causes, then maybe you can ask him what solutions he can come up with. Its important to ask questions for him to find the solutions rather than you giving him them. Make sure he knows Jesus loves him and will help with the difficult road ahead. Beyond that is up to him and what he is ready for.

Thank you very much for responding. From our conversation on yesterday he said he wanted to die. I said you know both alcohol and smoking is a slow killer. He said, do you know of way I can speed it up. I told him that he is not going anywhere until God says so. God is not done with you. Yesterday before he left I said, "You have trusted me with some personal issues you are going through. I am going to trust that you will come in tomorrow and tell me that you said, "thank You Jesus."

When I got in the car this morning, I lifted him up in prayer all the way to work. When I got to work, I printed the sinners prayer, scriptures about the love of God towards His children and scriptures on addictions. I stapled them and place on my desk believing he would come in. He was late but he came in and was sober. I thought he would be ashamed to see me after yesterday. He came up to me, gave me a hug and said thank you very much for listening to me. I said did you say what I asked you to say? He said, to be honest, I really don't remember what you said. I said, that's okay. When I went back to my desk, he said, "I did try to talk to God last night if that's what you are talking about." I turned so fast, I almost twisted my leg. I said, "what did you say?" He said, "Yea, I tried, I don't know how much good it did but I tried." I said, "he heard you and it did a lot of good. Just keep doing it." He said, I don't know any prayers so I just talked to him like I would anyone else. I said, "that's great!!!! That's what God wants us to do. Just talk to Him. Just continue to talk to Him and you will see a difference I promise. He said, "Well, it took me a while to get to this state in my life so I can't expect it to be fixed overnight." I knew God was working this and the door opened for me to give him all the scriptures I had printed for him. I said, "You are exactly right. When we wait on God, it teaches us patience and dependence on Him and Him only." I went to my desk and pulled the paperwork off my desk and gave it to him. I said, when you get a chance and have time. God over this. Read it at your leisure but this is how much God Loves You!!!

As soon as I gave it to him, he went to his desk, sat down and started reading it before he even started his work. I left him alone for the rest of the day. But I tell you that when I said I was thanking and praising God!!!!! YES, GOD IS REACHING OUT TO THE LOST OF THE WORLD.
 
From what I know about alcoholism is people that are afflicted think they cannot be forgiven or can't forgive something, and they drink to help them forget so whatever this man has done or thinks he cant forgive just let him know God can forgive.
 
Alcoholics generally are addicted to alcohol, and have been for a long while. Long enough to twist every bit of logic, belief, ethics, morals, philosophy, etc towards supporting their drinking. They have some sort of denial for almost everything. So, there are a few basic principles to best administer to an alcoholic.

1. Don't bother trying to administer to a drunk alcoholic. Good chance that they will be suffering from short term memory loss. Get their contact details and arrange to contact them when they have sobered up. If you have to answer anything to them, tell them where they can get specific help for alcoholism, such as AA. Tell them that it works ONLY if they work the program. That is all. Then they know that help is available if they want it. They have to want it for themselves, or it won't work.
2. Never administer unless asked to by the alcoholic. If they don't ask for it, they will only get a resentment, especially if they can't gain anything from you.
3. Never administer alone, especially if you are a woman. Best to always have someone else (who knows about alcoholism) with you.
4. Never give money, or anything else which they can later transfer for more booze. Don't enable them.
5. If they are willing to get help, then arrange an appointment, for the alcoholic with a rehab that is AA based. The program is God centred.
6. If they are willing to actually go, then offer to take them there, by car for example. And make sure that they actually went in and saw the receptionist.
7. If not a rehab, then be prepared to take them to an AA meeting. Again, see point (3).
8. Tell them, if they are sober and doing AA, or rehab, that you are willing to talk to them about their understanding of God, or a Power greater than themselves, that they can rely on to stay sober and be happy about it.

As much as you may wish to talk about God, they first must want to know about God. They need to realize that life without God may mean death by alcoholism.

As we feed the hungry before anything else. So to for the alcoholic, they first must stop drinking. It is pointless administering to an alcoholic who still drinks, or is drunk. The only thing you can tell them, that is simple and to the point, is "PRAY to GOD for HELP". For they cannot help themselves, their history tells them that. So, only God can get them sober. We cannot, but God can.

I am an alcoholic who has been sober for over 30 years. In that time I re-educted, and got a degree in counselling. Worked as a drug and alcohol counsellor for 20 years.
 
Alcoholics generally are addicted to alcohol, and have been for a long while. Long enough to twist every bit of logic, belief, ethics, morals, philosophy, etc towards supporting their drinking. They have some sort of denial for almost everything. So, there are a few basic principles to best administer to an alcoholic.

1. Don't bother trying to administer to a drunk alcoholic. Good chance that they will be suffering from short term memory loss. Get their contact details and arrange to contact them when they have sobered up. If you have to answer anything to them, tell them where they can get specific help for alcoholism, such as AA. Tell them that it works ONLY if they work the program. That is all. Then they know that help is available if they want it. They have to want it for themselves, or it won't work.
2. Never administer unless asked to by the alcoholic. If they don't ask for it, they will only get a resentment, especially if they can't gain anything from you.
3. Never administer alone, especially if you are a woman. Best to always have someone else (who knows about alcoholism) with you.
4. Never give money, or anything else which they can later transfer for more booze. Don't enable them.
5. If they are willing to get help, then arrange an appointment, for the alcoholic with a rehab that is AA based. The program is God centred.
6. If they are willing to actually go, then offer to take them there, by car for example. And make sure that they actually went in and saw the receptionist.
7. If not a rehab, then be prepared to take them to an AA meeting. Again, see point (3).
8. Tell them, if they are sober and doing AA, or rehab, that you are willing to talk to them about their understanding of God, or a Power greater than themselves, that they can rely on to stay sober and be happy about it.

As much as you may wish to talk about God, they first must want to know about God. They need to realize that life without God may mean death by alcoholism.

As we feed the hungry before anything else. So to for the alcoholic, they first must stop drinking. It is pointless administering to an alcoholic who still drinks, or is drunk. The only thing you can tell them, that is simple and to the point, is "PRAY to GOD for HELP". For they cannot help themselves, their history tells them that. So, only God can get them sober. We cannot, but God can.

I am an alcoholic who has been sober for over 30 years. In that time I re-educted, and got a degree in counselling. Worked as a drug and alcohol counsellor for 20 years.


Thank you, Thank you so very much!!! Reading what you said is EXACTLY whats going on right now. I'm not pushing him or anything like that. I just keep telling him that if he is trying this by himself, it will not work. You must have God with you. He said the programs don't work for him. I don't think he is really ready to stop. This is only my opinion from my time with him. One thing you said that makes perfect sense is to never administer alone.
He has not asked for any money or anything like that. It's like when I do ask questions he never have a direct answer for the question. Now, I am far from being a counselor but I said to him, "just pretend I am your best friend going through the same thing you are going through. I am going to ask you some questions and be the person on the outside looking in and give me an answer." He said okay. I asked the following questions,

Q. If your daughter was walking up the same street that a liquor store was at and someone tried to snatch her, would you go and try to save your daughter or go get a drink first?
A. Good question.............(waiting).......I know I should go and try to save my daughter but........No, I think I would go save my daughter.
Q. You said, you are a child of God have you asked him for help?
A. I did but God don't listen to me. I have done so much to myself and other people that God don't have time for me.
Q. Well, if you said God speaks to you then he has time for you. Are you listening?
A. Yea, Yea, I listen....Sometimes I listen....Not all the time I listen. I don't know. God and the devil speaks to me.
Q. Do you know the difference in who is speaking to you?
A. Yes, I know. At least I think I know. I know the voice that tells me that I need a drink to get through a meeting or to deal with my situation is the devil. The voice that tells me that I don't need this and eventually something is going to happen to me. I got you but you can't keep doing this to your body. I know that is God. I say, I know you are right but then I end up at the liquor store. I went there to buy some cigarettes and that's it. When I walked in, the guy put the bottle in the bag with the cigarettes and said $34.38. He didn't even ask me if I wanted the bottle. I said, I just want the cigarettes. The guy said, you mean you don't want this bottle? You always get a bottle. He said, "Okay then" and I got it.
Q. Do you want to be delivered from alcohol?
A. I don't know. I look forward to it.


There's more but I will stop. I will continue to keep him lifted but he said he's not ready. Only God can deliver him. I am thinking maybe he needs to hit rock bottom before he want to make a change. He said he has hit rock bottom multiple times and he keeps doing the same thing. I said, "if you hit rock bottom and God gets you back on your feet only for you to do the same thing again, you have not hit rock bottom yet. Thank you for your valuable advice and I will most definitely keep in mind to never administer alone.

Thank you again and thank God for your deliverance. I know God can do it for him. But like you said, he has to want it.
 
That is like a lot of addicts dont want to stop, he has to make up his mind to stop i.e repent,and turn to God. Not 'maybe'. Not 'yea nah'. Not 'when I'm ready'. Or 'I will think about it'


I read the most tragic story about Christina Nobles Dad, who was an alcoholic. He promised her he would stop but he had years of drinking under his belt. She and her siblings got taken to an orphanage when their mum died because he just kept drinking the money away. She escaped from the orphange to see her dad and they met up at a cafe, he told her he had taken the 'pledge' to give up, and then said in his next breath he had need money to buy some fish and chips, so she gave him some money and he took off for the pub. She never saw him sober again. The thing is addicts can and will lie to you.

**Staff Edit in the paragraph below for liability reasons.**

I dont want to knock (** specific organization) but a lot of this (** organization policy) stuff isnt understanding what the Lord almighty has done and can do which is deliver and heal and set the captives free. Its only 'God as you understand him' and the God of this world (i.e Satan) is pleased if an alcoholic can stay on a program forever. They might not drink anymore but they are no closer to God either just everyday they count as not drinking.

But just to encourage you that if someone repents, which I have heard people have, they will be a brand new creature. I met one dad who did that and he found a new life in Christ. He was not an alcoholic anymore. His daughter testified this was so she got back the dad she never had. Many more that went to rehab, there was this island in the gulf in my city run by the sallies that alcoholics could go to to sober up, and many found God through Jesus and were saved.

I had been out with a few alcoholics who are willing to tell you all their sorrows as a badge of honor but just not willing to talk to God about the most important thing or accept Jesus died for them. He actually DIED. The gospel is this and that Jesus was raised to life again. But many alcoholics under the influence can only understand God in a limited sense and the devil will snatch away this seed. Why because they are not hungering and thirsting for the living water of the Holy Sprit they are messing with the poisoined water of unclean spirits.

When Jesus met a woman at the well he asked her for a drink. She was like why are you asking me?? Then Jesus tells her about this living water that she will never need to keep going to the well all the time to obtain. So I would say that this is what you need to get across and it doesnt faze Jesus that shes had five husbands and not even married to the one shes with. He knows all she ever did.
 
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Getting him to open up about the underlying problems is important.
Generally, drinking is about trying to stop the pain in their life, emotional or spiritual. If he can get to that root cause or causes, then maybe you can ask him what solutions he can come up with. Its important to ask questions for him to find the solutions rather than you giving him them. Make sure he knows Jesus loves him and will help with the difficult road ahead. Beyond that is up to him and what he is ready for.

Hello Big Moose;

At the men's recovery program they celebrated their graduation just last Saturday. During the 9 or 12 month recovery most of the issues was the underlying problems. Though this program is a 61 year old Christian recovery, Jesus is the main center as the reason to heal but behind the scenes, not every man automatically flowed with the program.

Many dropped out because it was too much effort to follow the rules. Others backslid. If there was a way to get that drink or fix they would, just to feel better.

Well said on reassuring of Jesus' love. Ultimately it's up to our brother and what he is ready for.

That is like a lot of addicts dont want to stop, he has to make up his mind to stop i.e repent,and turn to God. Not 'maybe'. Not 'yea nah'. Not 'when I'm ready'. Or 'I will think about it' But just to encourage you that if someone repents, which I have heard people have, they will be a brand new creature. I met one dad who did that and he found a new life in Christ. He was not an alcoholic anymore. His daughter testified this was so she got back the dad she never had. Many more that went to rehab, there was this island in the gulf in my city run by the sallies that alcoholics could go to to sober up, and many found God through Jesus and were saved.

Hello Lanolin;

The counselors that serve consider this their called ministry and combining their training and application of scriptures to include measures of tough love along with mercy, grace and gentle LOVE. Fortunately, many of the men gradually opened up and confessed their deepest, underlying problems that led them as an ongoing process of healing.

On a bitter sweet note, the men all came to Christ but after graduation some developed health issues such as broken down organs, heart or lung failure, and went to be with the Lord. They found God through Jesus and were saved.

I served as a mentor one on one with many of my brothers and taught class for 20 years.

Godbe4me, I can feel the pain and care from your thread and pray the posts from everyone here will continue to give you insight.

May God bless everyone and your loved ones.
 
Godbe4me, I can feel the pain and care from your thread and pray the posts from everyone here will continue to give you insight.

Thank you.....I am glad I actually started the thread as I am learning a lot about the subject. Not enough to be a counselor of course. But enough to know what lines to not cross. Knowing when to step back and God step in. I am learning my place.
 
I am sitting at my desk working on some last minute stuff before I leave. He comes in and he is lit up. Should I just let him be. He has to learn that this is not the place for that. He is putting his finger on his nose I believe he's trying to put his finger on his lips to say, shhhh...

I am going to act like I don't see him and finish up my work and leave..... Of course keep him in prayer...
 
I am sitting at my desk working on some last minute stuff before I leave. He comes in and he is lit up. Should I just let him be. He has to learn that this is not the place for that. He is putting his finger on his nose I believe he's trying to put his finger on his lips to say, shhhh...

I am going to act like I don't see him and finish up my work and leave.....
Be praying for your wisdom.
 
I am sitting at my desk working on some last minute stuff before I leave. He comes in and he is lit up. Should I just let him be. He has to learn that this is not the place for that. He is putting his finger on his nose I believe he's trying to put his finger on his lips to say, shhhh...

I am going to act like I don't see him and finish up my work and leave..... Of course keep him in prayer...
Something to think about... He's driving this way. Think about the others on the road with him that he's putting in danger. Will be praying for them also
 
godbe4me
There comes a time when we have to put our feelings and emotions behind and do something that we don't want to but is the right thing.

You really should tell your Supervisor about all this.

It will turn into a game with him.
Most importantly.
I truly would not want a drunk doing any kind of work for me.
Would you trust his ability?

You really are not doing this guy any favors by not telling your supervisor.

Blessings
 
Couple more things to think about.

1. It's already a game with him.
Shhhh don't tell anyone. Like this is our secret.
2. If a supervisor finds out and then finds out that you knew but chose to cover it up and help hide it.
Now your but is in the sling too!

It's tough but he needs help.
 
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