Is it wrong to ask my mother to leave?

#22
Guilting a victim of domestic abuse into returning to their abuser is to be complicit in the abuse. Nobody who's ever been exposed to domestic violence would ever dare suggest such a thing.
This is exactly the sort of scriptural exegesis that is necessary. It is clear that the Biblical Hebrews were a highly patriarchal society that hadn't yet experienced a feminine revolution, and so women were subjects of their husbands rather than equals. It is unethical to hold to outdated beliefs simply because it was the cultural norm in the Bible. Understand the societal understandings of the time period and allow the actual moral teachings to be applied within the advanced culture of the modern time frame.
God has bestowed humans with Divine Reason. Ignoring this reason is to reject the gift of God.
Don't you think this Divine reason is what is causing man to conclude there is no God? That all things came into being on thier own?
 
#23
After a fight between my mother & father turned physical, I told my mother (who lives out of state) to come stay with my husband & I. She stayed with another family member for a few months before flying in to stay with me. Initially, I was thinking it would be great to have my mom around helping out & for my kids to have their grandma here, while at the same time helping her leave a bad situation. Now, I just want my house & normalcy back. I should also mention I'm due to have a baby any day. It's not that my mother is doing anything rude. In fact, she cooks meals almost every day, will run any errands for me, & will do anything I ask. I just don't want her here all the time, especially when it's time to bond with my new baby. She has no plan for how long she's staying, no car, & at some point no money now that she's not working. I feel like it's my Christian duty to help her, but I feel bad for being so annoyed that she's here every day. I'm annoyed that she's in my kitchen every morning. I want my house to myself after the kids go to school. Even if she stays in her room, I am annoyed that she's here. I feel like I'm going to snap if she says anything to me! I think I have some major control issues over my house & my family. My husband loves my mom & this doesn't bother him one bit, especially since the dishes are clean every day! I just feel it is stressing ME out & I don't like who I am right now & how I feel about this. Is it unchristian of me to ask her to leave?
Isn't there a way u can work things out between your dad and mum? Or a way to shake your dad up so he never again repeats the act? But i suggest you do all that, months after delivery cos even though you may not agree i fell you will need your mum during those months... more like having a free nanny, house help, baby sitter all in one... God bless Mothers
 
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Guest
#24
Matthew 6:14-15

14 For if you forgive men when they sin against you, your heavenly Father will also forgive you.
15 But if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.
 
#25
It is clear that the Biblical Hebrews were a highly patriarchal society that hadn't yet experienced a feminine revolution, and so women were subjects of their husbands rather than equals. It is unethical to hold to outdated beliefs simply because it was the cultural norm in the Bible. Understand the societal understandings of the time period and allow the actual moral teachings to be applied within the advanced culture of the modern time frame.
God has bestowed humans with Divine Reason. Ignoring this reason is to reject the gift of God.
I think we need to be very, very careful about trying to apply advancement and modernity to the truth of the word of God. Godly women are still subject to their husbands, as they follow the teaching of 1 Peter 3:1, Colossians 3:18, Ephesians 5:22-24, 1 Corinthians 14:34. It's also important to see that subjection doesn't mean inequality. I should also point out that being subject to one's husband doesn't mean that one shouldn't take evasive action to get away from an abusive husband.
 
#26
Guilting a victim of domestic abuse into returning to their abuser is to be complicit in the abuse. Nobody who's ever been exposed to domestic violence would ever dare suggest such a thing.
This is exactly the sort of scriptural exegesis that is necessary. It is clear that the Biblical Hebrews were a highly patriarchal society that hadn't yet experienced a feminine revolution, and so women were subjects of their husbands rather than equals. It is unethical to hold to outdated beliefs simply because it was the cultural norm in the Bible. Understand the societal understandings of the time period and allow the actual moral teachings to be applied within the advanced culture of the modern time frame.
God has bestowed humans with Divine Reason. Ignoring this reason is to reject the gift of God.
You can't pick apart the bible when you don't like something it says. God's word is his word.
 
#27
After a fight between my mother & father turned physical, I told my mother (who lives out of state) to come stay with my husband & I. She stayed with another family member for a few months before flying in to stay with me. Initially, I was thinking it would be great to have my mom around helping out & for my kids to have their grandma here, while at the same time helping her leave a bad situation. Now, I just want my house & normalcy back. I should also mention I'm due to have a baby any day. It's not that my mother is doing anything rude. In fact, she cooks meals almost every day, will run any errands for me, & will do anything I ask. I just don't want her here all the time, especially when it's time to bond with my new baby. She has no plan for how long she's staying, no car, & at some point no money now that she's not working. I feel like it's my Christian duty to help her, but I feel bad for being so annoyed that she's here every day. I'm annoyed that she's in my kitchen every morning. I want my house to myself after the kids go to school. Even if she stays in her room, I am annoyed that she's here. I feel like I'm going to snap if she says anything to me! I think I have some major control issues over my house & my family. My husband loves my mom & this doesn't bother him one bit, especially since the dishes are clean every day! I just feel it is stressing ME out & I don't like who I am right now & how I feel about this. Is it unchristian of me to ask her to leave?
@MommaB; God reveals things to us because it is a flaw within self. God is revealing what is really in the heart and it makes you uncomfortable; and you try to finger your mother as the problem and not self. Righteous judgment starts within ones own self, and we weigh our actions and responses with the Word of God, not the neighbor next door.
I recognize this is an old post and the situation has probably been resolved; resolved right or wrong, God knows, but have you learned anything holy and anything righteous (within self) from it all?
 
#28
I took care of my mother for many decades in my home (our home). At one point my father lived with me too while he was extremely ill. To say that it was easy would be a total lie. Most days were fraught with stress and the relationship with my mother was complicated by deep psychological damage, I was not always on my best behaviour, to say the least. It is hard for us to adapt to having people in our home when we desire our privacy. I survived decades of care-taking of my mother by finding time where I could be alone by myself. Your resentment is not totally unexpected, and it would probably take a lot of therapy to get to the root of why you find her presence so vexatious to you. I hated it when people told me what a wonderful person I was to take care of my mother like I did. What they didn't know was how I lashed out at her whenever she managed to push my buttons - it was not pretty. My only strength throughout was to keep going back again and again to prayer for strength, and I needed a lot of strength and prayer to get through it.

On a more practical side, perhaps you could negotiate that your mom find some interests outside the house that will get her away from the home at least each week. Your church may be able to help in that regard. All this aside, there is also counselling for you and her. You two may just need to have some honest dialogue as to why you feel so much resentment.

There are no pat answers in situations like this. Our relationships with our parents are complex, and even more so when they end up in our home once we are adults. Our culture has not mentally prepared us very well for this eventuality. If there is also the possibility that another relative can house her for short periods of time, like a month here and there, this may be the respite that you need to de-stress from having her in your home. I realize that the Ten Commandments tell us to honor our mother and our father, and this comes with a promise of blessings. However, for those of us who have had to live with and care for our parents, the stress can sometimes get the best of us and drive us to ignoble feelings and disastrous remorse for our subsequent behaviour. I guess it all lies with what you really want to have happen in this situation. You need to decide if you wish to continue to have her in your home, and if so, you will need to find a way to make this work for yourself. Open dialogue with her regarding what her future plans are may also be in order, and this is where a pastor or counsellor may be of assistance. In the meantime, prayer is something I would wholly recommend, and prayer with a purpose, even more so. By this I mean, if you wish God to help you find a resolution to your situation, then this is a thing to pray for. If you just need strength, then pray for this. But please don't try to go it all alone - get help from other resources before the relationship becomes abusive.

I am not sure if I answered your question to your satisfaction, but I hope that something was of a little use to you.