bigman,
For years I struggled with the same dilemma, this is what the Lord showed me.
Jesus said we must be born again, Peter explained the process in 1 Peter 1:23, the incorruptible seed (sperm) is the Holy Spirit, the Word of G0d is the ovum, when God starts drawing someone to Himself we start to become interested in "churchy" things, we might even participate in a church, but the moment of conception is when the Holy Spirit shines His perfect, righteous light into our spirits and shows us we are doomed to hell, it's our destiny, no if's ands or buts, however by that time the Lord has given us the Gospel, probably we've heard it many times, but this time we actually understand that Jesus died on the cross for you/me individually, at that point in time we can chose to receive Jesus as our Savior or reject the offer, if we chose Jesus then we are "born again," so..., the Holy Spirit is our father, the Word of God is our mother, ...what verse did He use to birth you, ...and we know when it happened, we can name our human mother and father and the day we were born, so can the children born of God, ....that's what Peter was alluding to in verse 24, the verse that the Lord used to cause him to be "born again," Is 40:6-7.
This verse is a "life" verse, it's the foundation on which we begin to build our lives, the Lord will add more verses the more we read His Word, verses that comfort, verses that encourage, verses that correct, verses that discipline, etc. I strongly suggest you start recording these life verses, if you haven't already, they are not only comforting, assuring and give us peace, but they are our defense against the fiery darts of the devil.
Now I realize there are probably lots of my brothers and sisters that have never heard this teaching, this wasn't "revealed" to me until a few years after I was born again, but the Lord is faithful and if we ask Him He will bring to our remembrance the life verse He used to birth us, ....for example, I can't pinpoint the date, but I know it was a Wednesday night in July of '86, but I know the verse because it's engraved on my heart (just like my momma) and it brought a repentance into my life, so much so it turned my life upside down, or rather, right side up.
Gene