Kid: "But why?"
Mom: "Because I said so."
You are your fathers child or you get that from your father or it must be your father's DNA!!!
"Get your story straight!"
"Don't roll your eyes at me!"
"Don't get smart with me!"
"One day you'll have little kids of your own!"
"My dear, if you don't want to marry, don't. You don't want to end up with one of THESE, do you?" - This was always a joke between Mommy and Daddy when I announced I wanted to stay single and devote my life to God. They would always say that to each other. But they are totally in love, devoted to God and each other, and jokes like these were always going around.
"(Full name), if you were anything else except who you really are, I'd have to punch your lights out." - Daddyism LOL!
My parents are really wonderful, funny folks!
An apple a day keeps the doctor away (I can't afford doctors, but there's apples in the kitchen!)
Anyone who would lie for you would tell a lie TO you!
Anyone who would steal for you would steal from you!
Are you some kind of wild animal?
Because I said so!
Breakfast is the best part of the day.
Children should be seen - not heard.
Close the door, long tail!
Do you actually have a floor in your bedroom?
Dogs can chase cars, but they can't drive them.
Don't be ashamed of Jesus and he won't be ashamed of you.
Dn't get smart with me!
Don't go outside in the cold with wet hair or you'll catch a cold.
Don't let the bed bugs bite!
Don't make a meal out of snacks!
Don't make fun of people or you'll turn out just like them!
Don't put that in your mouth - you don't know where it's been!
Don't stick anything in your ear smaller than your elbow!
Don't touch things that don't belong to you!
Don't you give me that look!
Eat this - it'l put hair on your chest!
Eat your carrots - you'll see like a rabbit!
Eat your crusts - you'll get curly hair.
Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice and I'll whip you!
Get your story straight!
How many times do I have to tell you?!
I brought you into this world, I can take you out!
I got eyes in the back of my head...
I wish I had a nickel for every time that you...
If _________ jumped off a climff - would you jump, too?
If chores were fun, they'd have to call them something else.
If it was a snake, it wouldda bit you!
If I've told you once, I've told you a thousand times!
If they're talking about me, at least they're leaving someone else alone.
If you always think you're going to fail, then one of these days you're going to be right.
If you can't listen to me, I can't listen to you!
If you don't eat your veggies you don't get dessert!
If you don't have anything nice to say - don't say anything at all!
If you don't put your tongue back into your mouth a little birdy will come along and sit on it.
If you go around pointing a finger at other people, there's two fingers pointing back at you.
If you keep crossing your eyes, they're going to stay like that.
If you keep picking on that it's never gonna heal.
If you keep your mouth open any longer, a fly is going to fly into it.
If you lie to me, your nose is going to grow.
If you steal, you have nothing to cry about when someone steals from you.
I'll give you something to cry about!
I'm sick and tired of...
In one ear and out the other!
It ain't a shame to be poor, but it's a shame to be dirty.
It ain't a shame to have roaches...but it's a shame to keep them.
It must have grew legs and walked off again.
Moms are always right.
One day you're going to have kids who turn out just like you!
Pick up your room.
Quit staring - they might think you're in love with them!
Someone must have needed it more than we did.
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words will never hurt you.
Stop making that face or it'll stay that way!
The best medicine's love!
The only time you hear me is when I'm trying to whisper something about you!
This hurts you more than it does me!
Truth ain't like horse shoes...getting close to it don't count.
Two wrongs don't make a right.
Wait til your father gets home!!!
Wear a hat and you'll always be warm.
Were you born in a barn? (I don't know...was I?)
What did you just say to me?
What's the big idea?
What's the matter with you, anyway?
When I told you to ________,, was I talking to myself?
Where there's a will, there's a way! Mom has the will, so it's her way!
Wipe that goofy-looking grin off your face!
You better eat that! There's kids starving in china! (Well send it to them!)
You better eat that, it'll stick to your ribs.
You can fool some of the people some of the time, but you can't fool mom.
You can tell how clean someone is by looking behind their toilet.
You catch more flies with sugar than with salt.
You kiss your girlfriend with that mouth!?
You must have gotten that from your dad!
You'd better zip that lip!
Your horns are holding up your halo.
Your room is a pigstye!
You're going to school - not a fashion show!
Live and learn - some people just live.
Common sense isn't all that common!
My dear, if you don't want to marry, don't. You don't want to end up with one of THESE, do you?" - This was always a joke between Mommy and Daddy when I announced I wanted to stay single and devote my life to God. They would always say that to each other. But they are totally in love, devoted to God and each other, and jokes like these were always going around.
No - every time a new one would come up, I'd cackle and then enter it into an excel spreadsheet. The othe day I highlighted the first column, hit organize, and BAM! It was alphabetor...alphaticall...um, in order. JK it was alphabetized.
Let see...I've washed time cards, wallets, money, change, packets of bubble gum, kleenix, rocks, a watch, pens , markers , keys, a cell phone , candy wrappers (the person was on a diet), and a Winnie the Pooh pin. I'm still not rich, hah!
Mom: "If you always get mad at people, one of these days you're going to run out of people to be mad at!"
"If people are angry and jealous at you, then you're probably doing something right."
I made a family tree for my grandpa's memorial. It was something that my aunt was planning for years and years. She talked about it every time the family got together, "One of these days I'm going to do this so everybody knows where we came from."
I remember her saying that when I was little. I grew up. Got an education, found the resources to pull together a family tree accurate to first contact and prior.
My aunt saw this hanging up on the wall at the longhouse, and she was angry! He stole my idea! Look at the words, how you can read words that small? Who chose this picture to put in the background! I've never heard of this person here. This Indian name isn't spelled right. They're not a part of our family. So on and so on. She pounded me into the ground and made me feel this big (holds fingers up to show about the size of a pea).
That's when mom told reminded me: If people are angry with you and jealous, you probably did something right!