God: What are you doing now? King Arthur: Averting our eyes, oh Lord. God: Well, don't. It's just like those miserable psalms, always so depressing. Now knock it off!
God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...
[the Black Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms and one of his legs cut off]
Black Knight: Right, I'll do you for that!
King Arthur: You'll what?
Black Knight: Come here!
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Black Knight: I'm invincible!
King Arthur: ...You're a loony.
My personal favorite part...
[Holding the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch]
King Arthur: How does it... um... how does it work?
Sir Lancelot: I know not, my liege.
King Arthur: Consult the Book of Armaments.
Brother Maynard: Armaments, chapter two, verses nine through twenty-one.
Cleric: [reading] And Saint Attila raised the hand grenade up on high, saying, "O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy." And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu...
Brother Maynard: Skip a bit, Brother...
Cleric: And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it.
Brother Maynard: Amen.
King Arthur: Right. One... two... five.
Galahad: Three, sir.
King Arthur: Three.
Be aware...there are things in the movie that are offensive to many people. There is a part I won't even watch because of its content...the castle anthrax. I completely skip over it. The part starts with a "vision" of the holy grail in the sky. It ends when he's dragged out of the castle. I find the whole part offensive...and I'm very hard to offend.
The rest of the movie is typical python style...total unadulterated sillyness. With the exception of the castle anthrax, I love the movie.
My all time favorite movie...Gone With The Wind...
Mammy: "It ain't fittin'! It just ain't fittin!"
Rhett:"What's that rustlin' noise I hear?" Mammy: "Lawdy, Mister Rhett that ain't nothin' but my red silk petticoat you done give me." Rhett:"Nothin' but your petticoat? I don't believe it. Let me see. Pull up your skirt." Mammy: "Mister Rhett, you is bad! Y'all, Lawdy! Huh Huh!"
Scarlett: "He looks as if... as if he knows what I look like without my shimmy!"
Scarlett: "Get up off your knees! I don't like your common jokes!" Rhett: "This is an honorable proposal of marriage made at what I consider a most opportune moment. I can't go all my life waiting to catch you between husbands." Scarlett: "Sir, you are no gentleman." Rhett: "And you, Miss, are no lady. But don't think that I hold that against you. Ladies have never held any charm for me."
My favorite scene...
To Doctor & Scarlett...re: being a midwife...Prissy: " I knows, I knows, I knows how to do it. I've done it lots and lots."
Prissy: "Is the doctor come?" Scarlett: "No, he can't come." Prissy: "Oh, Miss Scarlett, Miss Melly's bad off." Scarlett: "He can't come, there's nobody to come. Prissy, you've got to manage without the doctor, I'll help you." Prissy: "Oh, lawdy, Miss Scarlett." Scarlett: "Well, what is it?" Prissy: "Lawdy, we got to have a doctor, I don't know nothin' 'bout birthin' babies!"