My Parents and my Relationship (part two)

E

EisBlume13

I just had a long talk with my parents about how I feel invalid in my decisions and emotions. Along the way, my dad asked if I was in a relationship. I said no but that yes wanted to come off my lips.
I told them I wanted to make mistakes, I want to share my happiness, I want to be able to share my life with respect on both ends. They want that too.

They said that they just want to live in peace with me so I can say that I am in a relationship, with who, ect. but I'm...lost.

I explained how I feel so alone as a Christian here in Massachusetts. That I have no pastor, no other Christian to go to for answers and opinions. That is why I am here. Out of desperation.

I'm at this weird point in high school where I am so done with all the sorrow I have lived with in school and that I am one of the older students in my grade, therefore I should be this excited to get out.
But I am at this point where I want to expand my faith in whatever way I can find and search out what I believe.
My mom made the point that I serve God, not any other "master." I knew that, but that is not how I have grown up feeling even though I know that was not their intention.

So I want to tell them about how happy I am.
How I am not being abused.
How loved I am.

Can I have some help on how to do that?

My boyfriend and I have been dating for three months today, and talking since November. He is 23, I am 18. He is from Spain, works in an auto shop...

I've had awful boyfriends in the past that rejected the idea of religion at all, and the other day I let my boyfriend read my journal that I keep in my purse, and the first long thing I wrote in their was talking to God. About how I loved him, missed him, wanted my faith to grow. My boyfriend's energy changed after reading it, so I feel that something is changing in him. I pray about that everyday. But my point of saying all this is, even if this all fails, I just want my parents to know that I am happy right now, I am still trying to find my way at this age with Christ, and just want to be respected.
 
Whose respect is more important, God's or man's? What you are going through is very normal, but the way you're going about it is wrong. Sex is the result of marriage to show love after commitment, not before. 50% of all marriages fail. Why? Because they're not committed. They only want to put out the flames of lust. Then you're stuck with someone who's gotten what they wanted and now you have neither respect for yourself or from the other. You say it's ok with God, well that's not what the word of God says. If you ignore Him, then yes, He'll stop tell you you're doing wrong:

Psalms 81:12 (KJV)
So I gave them up unto their own hearts' lust: [and] they walked in their own counsels.​

Proverbs 14:12 (KJV)
There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof [are] the ways of death.​


Nothing new is happening to you... we ALL go through it!

2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.​


To do that you MUST take captive every thought that is against what God says:

2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV)
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;​

The war your feel inside will NEVER end until Jesus comes with your new body. Therefore, you must use your heart and mind to overcome. Romans 7 shows this war and the answer to the war:

Romans 7:25 (KJV)
I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.​


See, the war isn't flesh and blood but in the spirit and in our minds. This is why God says what to think about so you can overcome:

Philippians 4:8 (KJV)
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.​


Meditate on these verses.
 
Abdicate said:
Whose respect is more important, God's or man's? What you are going through is very normal, but the way you're going about it is wrong. Sex is the result of marriage to show love after commitment, not before. 50% of all marriages fail. Why? Because they're not committed. They only want to put out the flames of lust. Then you're stuck with someone who's gotten what they wanted and now you have neither respect for yourself or from the other. You say it's ok with God, well that's not what the word of God says. If you ignore Him, then yes, He'll stop tell you you're doing wrong:

Psalms 81:12 (KJV)
So I gave them up unto their own hearts' lust: [and] they walked in their own counsels.​

Proverbs 14:12 (KJV)
There is a way which seemeth right unto a man, but the end thereof [are] the ways of death.​


Nothing new is happening to you... we ALL go through it!

2 Timothy 2:22 (KJV)
Flee also youthful lusts: but follow righteousness, faith, charity, peace, with them that call on the Lord out of a pure heart.​


To do that you MUST take captive every thought that is against what God says:

2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV)
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;​

The war your feel inside will NEVER end until Jesus comes with your new body. Therefore, you must use your heart and mind to overcome. Romans 7 shows this war and the answer to the war:

Romans 7:25 (KJV)
I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.​


See, the war isn't flesh and blood but in the spirit and in our minds. This is why God says what to think about so you can overcome:

Philippians 4:8 (KJV)
Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things [are] honest, whatsoever things [are] just, whatsoever things [are] pure, whatsoever things [are] lovely, whatsoever things [are] of good report; if [there be] any virtue, and if [there be] any praise, think on these things.​


Meditate on these verses.
Click to expand...
Thank you, I didn't mean for it to sound like I think that it is OK before marriage. I really don't. I might be placing more frustration on it than I actually feel because there is so much else going on, that I might be trying to find something to question. I brought sex up because I know some Christians who lost their virginity before marriage and they are people I look up to (not because of the loss of virginity), other faith reasons. Anyway, I know it isn't ok with God, but I'm becoming frustrated with trying to find answers to questions I don't know, ect.
 
EisBlume13 said:
Thank you, I didn't mean for it to sound like I think that it is OK before marriage. I really don't. I might be placing more frustration on it than I actually feel because there is so much else going on, that I might be trying to find something to question. I brought sex up because I know some Christians who lost their virginity before marriage and they are people I look up to (not because of the loss of virginity), other faith reasons. Anyway, I know it isn't ok with God, but I'm becoming frustrated with trying to find answers to questions I don't know, ect.
Click to expand...
My question really is, how do I bring up this relationship to my parents? This is my life that is between God and I, but I have felt that I serve my parents more than God. I know I said a lot more, but I wanted to give thorough background.
 
EisBlume13 said:
My question really is, how do I bring up this relationship to my parents? This is my life that is between God and I, but I have felt that I serve my parents more than God. I know I said a lot more, but I wanted to give thorough background.
Click to expand...

As for being a parent for many many years, my greatest joy comes from seeing my children prosper, and being in health. The Lord God knows every thought you will think, and he knows every word that will come out of your mouth before you say it or think it. I asked the Lord one think, "isn't kinda boring knowing what I am going to say to you, or even think before I say them to you?" The Lord said "my joy comes from seeing my children prosper, and enjoying what I have given them" All parents are the same towards their children. You should take heed to what they say, for they are only looking out for your own good. I am now 63 years old, and as I look back when I was living with my parents I can see now every thing they said was true, but I sure did not see it that way back then.
As for a boy friend, if he is not a Christian believer as you, you will have some very very hard times, and even heart break when trying to mix light and darkness together, as you have already noticed when he read your journal.
 
EisBlume13 said:
My question really is, how do I bring up this relationship to my parents? This is my life that is between God and I, but I have felt that I serve my parents more than God. I know I said a lot more, but I wanted to give thorough background.
Click to expand...
I was 25 my first time and it was with my wife a week after we got married. It was NOT easy, but I'm glad I did, even though I wanted to. I knew I wanted God to bless my marriage more than fulfill my passions. If your parents are paying for you to go to college then it's like being under their authority and you need to be obedient. This has nothing to do with happiness, it has everything to do with doing what is right. Until you're married, and then you'll be under your husband's authority, you must be obedient. If you're supporting yourself 100% then you are free. That's how I see it. If you can't speak to your family who love you and only want you to avoid the pitfalls they fell into, then you're just being rebellious. Hiding things only shows it's wrong. You may think living a lie will make you free, but your conscience (The Holy Spirit) won't let you. I know it's not what you want to hear, but as a parent of 3, and knowing what I went through growing up, it's not a power trip we push on our kids, it's we want the best for them. Your stubbornness won't help you do the right thing. The things you're going to experience, they've already been there. Why experiment which is the best thing to do? Life is like learning to drive, you can just jump in and go as you please without guidance. You'll end up hurt in an accident which could change the rest of your life. That's my two cents.
 
I hope I'm not coming off like I am trying to argue, I'm just genuinely trying to figure all this out: I feel no guilt when I talk to God about me dating him which is why I am so comfortable with him. So I know what you mean by guilt, and I know that I am going through a rebellious time, but seeing as I am becoming more independent, my relationship with my parents is changing. They want me out of the house because we have always butt heads. I am not trying to ignore their guidance, but I also want to find my place with God instead of always worrying about my parents reactions to things. I'm not saying "Go have sex," not at all! That was a silly side mark, honest. I want to see how my life is when I am under God, only God, and to have more talks with him than my parents. I think it is hard for me not to try and find ways out of this, but I think that just comes with my age and where I am at in life...I'm sorry if I sound terrible. Again, I'm struggling with the hierarchy: Parents vs. God. God should be above, but that has not been how I've grown up no matter how hard my parents tried. Due to my anxiety and being a people pleaser, I've always ended up with my parents first even if I wanted God because my parents voices were louder.
 
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