Perfection Changing

#1
Perfection Changing

Don't smack me around too hard now, okay? I wrote this a while back when I was feeling sorry for myself. It felt like I was suffering for the Lord - almost as if I was being punished and there was nothing I could do about it.

This was written during a stressful time for me. I was very sick, and it seemed like every day someone was calling me to ask me for something (money, food, gas, do this, do that...you know the feeling). One small task for one person can build up into a lot of work for a lot of people in one day, you know what I mean?

But in the back of my mind, I would think - God wants me to be a servant. I'm doing good...I have the ability to help people, that's what he wants me to do. I'm so tired, but I can't sit down because I have all these people to help. When are they going to start helping me?

Perfection Changing

I feel fearful in a crowded room
People standing elbow-to-elbow
Strangers bumping into me and then yelling: “Excuse me!”
Trying to make it across to the opposite side
Where someone is smiling and waiting…for them.

I asked a stranger: “What can I do for you today?”
And now I’m a servant for the rest of my life.
Picking up sharp shards of shattered dreams that aren’t even mine.
Cleaning out everybody’s closets because there’s a monster in mine.
I’m exhausted now – but I’m not done granting wishes.
"Smile!" I cry.

Who else is trying?
Raise your hand!
Come on now, be brave and take a stand!
I read it and believe it – did you read it too?
Am I the only one who has to apply these rules?

Everybody knows the perfect way for me to change
To be a better human being – inside and out, out
“But you should always want that!” they proclaim.
God, I’m tired of changing, trying to fit this mold
Everybody has decided long ago was perfect for me

Is perfection changing and I didn’t keep up?
Or did your flaws slow down to fill my cup?
Please, please, don’t let me interrupt
Perfection is yours, perfection is

Perfection is what I always see
In everybody but me
I’m exhausted now – but you have to sleep
If you ever want to dream

Tonight is my watch again
God has shown me a way—
So what can I do for you today?

Whirlwind
September 2006

'course I feel stronger today. Still helping wherever I can. I've learned never to get tired doing good.

Thanks.
WW:cross: