Respecting Elders and Young

bobinfaith

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Hello brothers and sisters;

Why do we struggle with younger adults? Why do we struggle with elderly men and women? It's more of a strain when we have this problem in the church.

I'm far from a master at this but I've listened to both sides and these are the points that stood out.

Christian elderly men and women develop an authoritative attitude and become so set with their standards that there is no room to listen to new thoughts and ideas from younger adults.

Christian young adults, most of those in their late teens up to 39 years old are excited at the new ideas in Christian development that work, but get shut off by elderly who are not open to change, therefore, this frustrates young adults.

When I was in my early 30s I began to go beyond knowing God exists. So I thought I understood. But as I took the next step I actually started having a relationship with Jesus and slowly this began to open my eyes.

Then I began to understand, one day at a time, not just my elderly but young adults as well.

1 Timothy 4:12, Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

I had to learn the hard way that once kids become adults, I needed let go of my adult authority, still approaching young adults as kids, and begin to respect that they're growing up.

1 Timothy 5:1-2, Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

1 Timothy 5:17, 17 Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching.

I was always taught to respect my elders, but as a young Christian I wasn't loving them. Does this make sense? I was slow in maturing and didn't understand the mental and physical changes an elderly develops later in life and the one strong hold they still have are the traditional foundations that have always worked in their upbringing.

I know many of you are parents, grandparents and some never had children. Please share.

What are your thoughts?
 
Hm. I have read your post three times, started to reply twice, and have again deleted my remarks both times. You have brought up a subject that I fully understand I am struggling with, so I need to spend a little more time thinking about a suitable response.

Rtm
 
Great subject bobinfaith
I love the way you have worded it too. The fact that the young adults are our brothers ans sisters, and you treat them as such, takes the whole problem away for me.
What caused me to faulter was new hymns. I love the old hymns and thought they shouldn't change then. We grow attached to things we love. I thought about for a long time, and realised that those hymns I loved had been new ones once. I bought a collection of CDs, some new hymns and others old ones. Now I lobe them all. There are many beautiful new hymns. Praise The Lord for our young adults, where would we be without them.
We can all learn from each other regardless of age.
 
Great subject bobinfaith
I love the way you have worded it too. The fact that the young adults are our brothers ans sisters, and you treat them as such, takes the whole problem away for me.
What caused me to faulter was new hymns. I love the old hymns and thought they shouldn't change then. We grow attached to things we love. I thought about for a long time, and realised that those hymns I loved had been new ones once. I bought a collection of CDs, some new hymns and others old ones. Now I lobe them all. There are many beautiful new hymns. Praise The Lord for our young adults, where would we be without them.
We can all learn from each other regardless of age.

Hello Cosia;

Wow! I totally forgot that hymns, worship and praise songs are a concern with mixed ages in the church. Being a musician myself I have dealt with the disagreements between timeless songs and new songs.

I appreciate them all but will say a called music minister is able to balance between the old and new and bring the heart of worship into the congregation.
 
Hello Cosia;

Wow! I totally forgot that hymns, worship and praise songs are a concern with mixed ages in the church. Being a musician myself I have dealt with the disagreements between timeless songs and new songs.

I appreciate them all but will say a called music minister is able to balance between the old and new and bring the heart of worship into the congregation.
Hi bobinfaith
I agree. A good balance is the answer..
It goes to show how easily the age thing can divide us, if we allow it to.
 
i have no issue with either provided they are willing to work together . i have had to deal with a cranky old man who thought he run the show in church. to be honest it did not end well . on the other hand in my early years i dealt with unruly teens. in todays world we have separate worship services in our bigger churches traditional and contempered. i am very much against there is no reason the youth and the elders can not worship together . sing few hymns some newer music combined it will work
 
Hello Cosia;

Wow! I totally forgot that hymns, worship and praise songs are a concern with mixed ages in the church. Being a musician myself I have dealt with the disagreements between timeless songs and new songs.

I appreciate them all but will say a called music minister is able to balance between the old and new and bring the heart of worship into the congregation.
Ok, that is a good point. I do not know how the age demographics of my church balance out. For sure, the majority are under 60 (or maybe even under 50). I have heard, and read, that the "older" folks do not like our Worship Team, mostly because it is a big production and does resemble a Christian Rock Concert. This usually goes for about 20 minutes before the message.

Aside from the main worship center (pictured below), we do have a smaller chapel that seats about 50. I walk through there at least once on Sundays and I will say that those there are in the 70 plus age group. They do their own "thing" and have a piano. I do not believe they view the "concert" and am not that sure they don't do their own message.

You know what.... I think I will attend one of their services this coming Sunday, so that I may know first hand.

As for me, I like the concert, but it can get just a little too loud.

Screenshot_20210612-193847_Gallery.jpg Screenshot_20210816-193726_Gallery.jpg
 
We all walk a path in life making many choices along the way. When were young those choices are often harder lacking experience, often lacking good examples and also often surrounded by bad influences.

With God by our side and even in us, we can learn how to love and act in faith. As a young Christian I remember being excited about many things, I dreamt of the many things that I wanted to do, saw many possibilities.

In this world we can become jaded in our view of things because of the limited experiences we have had. Just as a prosecuting attorney may become jaded who sees criminal every where because day in day out they deal with criminals. There experience is limited though by the work that they do, not seeing the good as clearly because they are not around them as often.

At every age I feel we have need to be teachable and to listen to the Holy Spirit. Many things shape us in this life. In many ways God allows it for the special work he has for each of us young and old. As we age we gain experience. When we are young we often have a willingness to explore and try things that are new at least new to us. Many things though that seem new have been tried by those that are older when they to were young.
 
Interesting topic Bob!

I think each stage in life has its unique challenges..when you reach the middle it sort of plateaus a bit. You become more settled and stable.

Young adults - ages 13-30 this time of life you are still growing and even wrestling with challenges. I don't know anyone who hasn't ever had to face challenges or struggle --Jacob wrestled with the angel, he was intent on getting the blessing even though he was going to get it anyway. He said 'I won't let you go until you bless me' but I think those firstborn Esaus who just shrugged off their blessings really didn't even know what they were throwing away.

Elders - 65 +
At this stage in life I think elders may have grown weary if they've been carrying a lot of burden and haven't learned to give it all to God. The other thing is when you've reached this milestone you now have so much to give to those younger than you, so much to teach. Don't hoard your blessings. Even the struggles you had gone through in your youth have much to teach those younger. Elders are special and if they've retired they have a lot more time to pray and spend with the young, they won't be so consumed with work and making a living. Elders are people we look up to because despite what the world has thrown at them they have continued, they haven't cracked, they are still alive.

Anna and Simeon were elders that spent all their time in the temple praying for a baby. They knew the future peace rested on this one child the Messiah. I do suspect maybe they even taught Jesus about His Fathers business which is why he stayed behind in Jersualem when he was 12 at the temple, and already he was so wise. They recognised him and nurtured him in faith from his very beginning I imagine..spoke prophecy and blessings over him.

Godparents don't seem to be so important in modern churches, though its a tradition of catholics I heard...elders are in that position to nurture the faith of the young, speak over them and bless them. It's not something just the parents can do. Jacob was blessing Ephraim and Manasseh before he died.
 
The way teens are portrayed in books and movies is often very unrealistic. Because people NOT in their teens tend to write the stories about teen protaganists they don't really have an accurate picture of what really concerns teenagers. It is not the 50s anymore and many teens aren't concerned with starting relationships or doing anything like wild like having parties and drugging unless they have serious problems like parents abandoning them and leaving them to their own devices.

So what concerns teens?
Teens today have a huge burden to carry because they live in a world so fallen, it might not exist by the time they are grown.
They know they need an education, and in many countries education and the pressure of it is such that if they do not do well in school and get into higher education, job opportunities are denied to them.

They than need to balance this with family responsiblitlies, and because they are not fully earning, they can't be expected to know everything like paying bills, the mortgage. having a drivers licence, and running a business on the side. But they DO need to know this when they reach adulthood. They need to know how to budget and what taxes are and all that stuff. But that isn't really taught in school.

In school they are still teaching Shakespeare or biased versions of history. Or evolution! For many teens, that's just not relevant to their daily lives. Teen are concerned with the environment. They know they can't just swim in the river! Because some big corporate or developers think it's totally ok to dump all their stuff in it.
 
Hello brothers and sisters;

Why do we struggle with younger adults? Why do we struggle with elderly men and women? It's more of a strain when we have this problem in the church.

I'm far from a master at this but I've listened to both sides and these are the points that stood out.

Christian elderly men and women develop an authoritative attitude and become so set with their standards that there is no room to listen to new thoughts and ideas from younger adults.

Christian young adults, most of those in their late teens up to 39 years old are excited at the new ideas in Christian development that work, but get shut off by elderly who are not open to change, therefore, this frustrates young adults.

When I was in my early 30s I began to go beyond knowing God exists. So I thought I understood. But as I took the next step I actually started having a relationship with Jesus and slowly this began to open my eyes.

Then I began to understand, one day at a time, not just my elderly but young adults as well.

1 Timothy 4:12, Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

I had to learn the hard way that once kids become adults, I needed let go of my adult authority, still approaching young adults as kids, and begin to respect that they're growing up.

1 Timothy 5:1-2, Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

1 Timothy 5:17, 17 Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching.

I was always taught to respect my elders, but as a young Christian I wasn't loving them. Does this make sense? I was slow in maturing and didn't understand the mental and physical changes an elderly develops later in life and the one strong hold they still have are the traditional foundations that have always worked in their upbringing.

I know many of you are parents, grandparents and some never had children. Please share.

What are your thoughts?
It's the constant issue with the VISIBLE Church. As God RESTORES the visible church from its near death under Roman oversight, each new REVELATION (like Luther's Gal 3:11 But that no man is justified by the law in the sight of God, it is evident: for, The just shall live by faith.)
Causes an ADDITION to the Spiritual knowledge of the Visible church.

BUT - there's always the "old guard" (The politically established Denominational paradigms) to contend with.

In 1900, there was the "Pentecostal revival" which grew out of the Wesleyan Holiness paradigm - and was bitterly opposed by those who'd been teaching that the Gifts were for THEN, but NOT NOW (Cessationists) and the Wesleyans who didn't agree with what THEY saw as excessixe emotionalism.

However the Pentecostals flourished in a spectactular fashion (because of its missionary concentration) and formed many Denominational groups to carry the message (Assemblies of God being the largest at 70,000,000 world wide). However they were an extremely LEGALISTIC, "one strike and you're OUT" denomination after their "Holiness" roots.

BUT - then there was the Charismatic Outpouring in '64 or so, and the SAME Holy Spirit (tongues and all) were poured out on the LIBERAL CHURCH, and (horrors) the Catholics!!! and predictably the "Historic pentecostals" rejected the Charismatics and fought them bitterly (because they weren't "Holy" enough - why, the women wore lipstick, and slacks) !!!!.

The issue was, of course the "Old Guard" (older members, pastors, and their educational system) who tended to be the ones in charge of their Visible Church system (and who thought they knew it all), seeing their "Precious Beliefs" being thrown aside by the younger congregation members who embraced the "NEW WINE" in their "New wineskins".

It's been the story of the visible church all along. God gives "Vision", and the Visible church builds on it AND Puts the roof on. Then God gives Vision - and the visible church tears the roof off, builds another story - and puts the roof on again. Then God gives Vision - etc.
 
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'64???

That was way before young people TODAY. Todays youngsters are those born in the 21st century, and most are online and do not even go to church. They might go every so often to organised events (like 'rock' concerts') but they simply don't have the time to gather every single week especially if they are heavily involved with school, sports, doing homework, studying for exams etc.
 
They also, if they cannot afford a car (and what teen can? mostly an old beat up runner) need to get rides from someone. If they go anywhere. So any youth minister needs to have a good bus or something to transport them, because teens aren't experienced drivers.
 
The other thing, expecting teens to wear good clothes all the time..most are lucky if they have one good outfit!
 
Hello brothers and sisters;

Why do we struggle with younger adults? Why do we struggle with elderly men and women? It's more of a strain when we have this problem in the church.

I'm far from a master at this but I've listened to both sides and these are the points that stood out.

Christian elderly men and women develop an authoritative attitude and become so set with their standards that there is no room to listen to new thoughts and ideas from younger adults.

Christian young adults, most of those in their late teens up to 39 years old are excited at the new ideas in Christian development that work, but get shut off by elderly who are not open to change, therefore, this frustrates young adults.

When I was in my early 30s I began to go beyond knowing God exists. So I thought I understood. But as I took the next step I actually started having a relationship with Jesus and slowly this began to open my eyes.

Then I began to understand, one day at a time, not just my elderly but young adults as well.

1 Timothy 4:12, Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers an example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity.

I had to learn the hard way that once kids become adults, I needed let go of my adult authority, still approaching young adults as kids, and begin to respect that they're growing up.

1 Timothy 5:1-2, Do not rebuke an older man but encourage him as you would a father, younger men as brothers, 2 older women as mothers, younger women as sisters, in all purity.

1 Timothy 5:17, 17 Let the elders who rule well be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who labor in preaching and teaching.

I was always taught to respect my elders, but as a young Christian I wasn't loving them. Does this make sense? I was slow in maturing and didn't understand the mental and physical changes an elderly develops later in life and the one strong hold they still have are the traditional foundations that have always worked in their upbringing.

I know many of you are parents, grandparents and some never had children. Please share.

What are your thoughts?

Bob.....the answer is really just as simple as one would think. You have to love people!

The young grow up to be the elderly and then they begin to be children again. I am in that process right now.

You just hope and pray that because you have brought up your children correctly, with controlled discipline , based in love for them, that they will treat you just as well as you treated them.
 
Your experiences may vary since you grew up in a different era, but today, here is something - a lot of teens cannot afford good clothes. The one time they might go all out is for their school ball where they need to dress up in a gown or tux, but for the most part, people do not have gowns and tuxes just hanging in their wardrobes.

And even then it is a mission getting that gown, or the hours spent sewing it together (with all the matching accessories)

A minstry for teens might involve some kind of clothing drive or swap. Because the clothes on their backs may be actually all that they own, and teens want to make a good impression. But they are set back if they are always wearing hand me downs. And this is why you see so many wearing raggedy jeans.

If you see teens wearing ill-fitting clothes, or skimpy outifits, you might judge them but its possibly they just can't afford good quality clothing. Not just young women but also young men. In the Bible we are told not to worry about the clothes we wear...but I tell you young people are very concerned with the clothes they wear. If they are given good clothes they will wear them but if they have to scrounge around for outfits then that's all they've got!

I was thinking this because I remember what it was like when I had my first job, as a teen I had enough food, but I didn't have any clothes. So that's what I spent my money on. I was so happy I could finally get to choose my own clothes.
 
Your experiences may vary since you grew up in a different era, but today, here is something - a lot of teens cannot afford good clothes. The one time they might go all out is for their school ball where they need to dress up in a gown or tux, but for the most part, people do not have gowns and tuxes just hanging in their wardrobes. And even then it is a mission getting that gown, or the hours spent sewing it together (with all the matching accessories) A minstry for teens might involve some kind of clothing drive or swap. Because the clothes on their backs may be actually all that they own, and teens want to make a good impression. But they are set back if they are always wearing hand me downs. And this is why you see so many wearing raggedy jeans. If you see teens wearing ill-fitting clothes, or skimpy outifits, you might judge them but its possibly they just can't afford good quality clothing. Not just young women but also young men. In the Bible we are told not to worry about the clothes we wear...but I tell you young people are very concerned with the clothes they wear. If they are given good clothes they will wear them but if they have to scrounge around for outfits then that's all they've got! I was thinking this because I remember what it was like when I had my first job, as a teen I had enough food, but I didn't have any clothes. So that's what I spent my money on. I was so happy I could finally get to choose my own clothes.

You know, Lanolin;

Sure, we know the Bible teaches we're are not to worry about the clothes we wear. But it seems clothing is a bit more complicated for teens and young adults in these times for two reasons...cost and fast trends. Sure, we can pooh pooh that but for younger people it's an issue. Though we may not agree totally with that we can still be understanding.

My teen wardrobe used to very simple - my levi strauss jeans was less than $20.00 and my polo shirts was about $7.00. On Sundays I put on a nice sweater at church.

That point you brought up is an example that would help narrow the gap.

 
I think with girls or young women it's a bit more complicated, we have more clothing items than men to deal with and ok, we could go round in jeans and polo shirts all the time like men do but then there are judgmental people (and this extended to church goers) who think women in pants is somehow unnatural.

Jeans have come down in cost but I remember when a pair of levis 501 cost at least $120, and you had to have the red label ones. Any other kind was like those aren't real jeans. Well nowadays people don't care, you can wear any brand. I do think some teens were too into their 'designer label' clothes. That was how people knew you were rich. And there was a lot of judgment I remember if you didn't have the 'right' labels.
 
Similar things Still happen like that nowadays, with both male and female.
A message I heard a couple of days ago asked this question to everyone, 'SeFch your heart and ask yourself 'when you are with a group of people who do you approach to have a chat with? Is it people who are wearing smart expensive clothes people who are wearing poor looking clothes, or do you approach both?' I thought it was a fabulous question.
The clothes I wear are chosen for modesty, cheapness and comfort. But then I am ancient. ;):LOL:
 
I recall when my former boss refused to wear a high viz vest when mowing lawns - everyone had to wear one. But he thought that made him look like a cheap labourer lol.
I'm like what we are given these uniforms to wear we have no choice! And who wants to garden wearing our own clothes? I was thankful we were given uniforms. And both men and women wore the same.

At school all the teachers got given high viz vests with their names on them (and they could choose different colours) to wear on playground duty. They look pretty cool!
I wasn't given any, but I did win a t shirt from the bookathon that has my name on it.
 
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