Socializing with the unsaved

Sep 16, 2011
4,397
1,353
113
37
How much socializing do you do with the unsaved? It is easy to become a loner as a Christian. But I believe scripture is clear on the fact that God wants us to apply ourselves to mingling more with the unsaved. I believe we don't all 'apply' ourselves as much as we should.

God needs us at that dinner with the unsaved. In that locker room. In that elite group. I believe we need to pray more and apply our minds more to getting closer to the unsaved in order to win them over. Especially as times get worse. The disparity in morals between saved and unsaved is becoming increasingly noticeable. Socializing is becoming much harder. Evil people are only alive because God has not yet lost all hope in them. We should not either.

So I am just wondering what pointers or examples you have to share with others on this. Take for example the Friday evening bar meeting. Do you socialize there? Or go straight home. The weekend holiday with annoying unsaved family members.


1 Cor 5:9-10 has been quite an eye opener for me.

1 Cor 5:9-10 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people 10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world.

 

Fish Catcher Jim

Inactive
Feb 7, 2015
10,793
13,197
113
Note.....
There is a Big Difference in being Led by the Holy Spirit and thoughts or feelings one might have.

There is a Big Difference between allowing your life to draw others in and just thinking you can change the world.
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cturtle
Feb 10, 2015
852
1,007
93
Maryland
There is a very large difference between being a believer who takes part in society and 'being one of the bunch'. I believe it is our duty to the Lord, as well as to our fellow man to be seen and heard being obedient and glorifying our Lord.

One must know and be committed to who he serves. A believer that is not strong in his faith does need to make choices on where he spends his time. Part of the Father not leading us into temptation is our part in not running toward temptation.

A Christian can be with the unsaved in social occasions and be a great witness by the choices others see him make and the words that come out of his mouth. This does not have to be confrontational.

But, if being there (among the unsaved) means that your are either tempted into keeping your faith a secret or committing an offense against the Lord to be one of them than it is better to be somewhere else.
 

Fish Catcher Jim

Inactive
Feb 7, 2015
10,793
13,197
113
1 Corinthians 5:9-11

9. When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin.

10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that.

11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.

Example.......you could not shop, eat, work etc if we were to avoid associating with people like this that are not Christians.

Blessings
FCJ
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cturtle
Sep 16, 2011
4,397
1,353
113
37
Example.......you could not shop, eat, work etc if we were to avoid associating with people like this that are not Christians.

Blessings
FCJ
The problem I have with this is that you don't always have their full attention. It is easy to talk to them when they are in a social mood after working hours, taking a tea break whilst shopping. For this we need to be their friends. Not just their colleagues / acquaintances. IE we need to apply ourselves more to winning them over. Its just the times we are in. I am guessing that twenty years ago work was not as stressful and life not as 'seemingly' busy.
 

Fish Catcher Jim

Inactive
Feb 7, 2015
10,793
13,197
113
Example.......you could not shop, eat, work etc if we were to avoid associating with people like this that are not Christians.


The problem I have with this is that you don't always have their full attention.

What you quoted above was just reference to what was being said in the scriptures that you originally quoted.

Things I have learned over the years ....
There's a fine line between taking the Gospel of Christ to the lost and simply being annoying. Once some one begins to annoy some one, they are done listening to them.

There's also a fine line between taking a tea break and going to the bars drinking with them thinking this will make it more appealing to them.

I am all for taking the gospel to the people. We are their only hope many times in getting them to Christ.

However being Spirit led will get more done then all our own efforts put together.

Keep the light shining so those in the dark can see it.
Blessings
FCJ
 
Apr 28, 2017
561
1,475
93
WA..the Evergreen State
Example.......you could not shop, eat, work etc if we were to avoid associating with people like this that are not Christians.

Things I have learned over the years ....
There's a fine line between taking the Gospel of Christ to the lost and simply being annoying. Once some one begins to annoy some one, they are done listening to them.

There's also a fine line between taking a tea break and going to the bars drinking with them thinking this will make it more appealing to them.

I am all for taking the gospel to the people. We are their only hope many times in getting them to Christ.

However being Spirit led will get more done then all our own efforts put together.

Keep the light shining so those in the dark can see it.
Blessings
FCJ
I do so agree and just want to add that in everyday conversations I have found it good to talk the scriptures without actually quoting them unless that is what they are specifically asking for. Or even if quoting say in such away that it doesn't sound like Christianeze. :) Because I have found that...

Some people will hear the Word better without our quoting it because they are likely searching even if they don't say they are or appear to be. Jesus sees the heart. We see the face. The message can come in conversations, stories, testimonies, doing what Jesus did. And most unbelievers will appreciate and respond to simply telling them you are praying.

Otherwise it is easy for them to think "bible thumper" and tune off or else listen and politely turn away. Mostly though they are moved or influenced by our attitude and behavior more than any preaching we may do. And, of course, our love for one another speaks to them in a huge and meaningful way. Blessings <><
 

Cturtle

Inactive
Feb 11, 2015
8,364
12,154
113
Usa
I do so agree and just want to add that in everyday conversations I have found it good to talk the scriptures without actually quoting them unless that is what they are specifically asking for. Or even if quoting say in such away that it doesn't sound like Christianeze. :) Because I have found that...

Some people will hear the Word better without our quoting it because they are likely searching even if they don't say they are or appear to be. Jesus sees the heart. We see the face. The message can come in conversations, stories, testimonies, doing what Jesus did. And most unbelievers will appreciate and respond to simply telling them you are praying.

Otherwise it is easy for them to think "bible thumper" and tune off or else listen and politely turn away. Mostly though they are moved or influenced by our attitude and behavior more than any preaching we may do. And, of course, our love for one another speaks to them in a huge and meaningful way. Blessings <><
I agree and I think that is why it's so important to be very sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and asking Him to give us the Words to say. Because He does (like you said) know their hearts, and can help us to put things into words that they understand and are attracted to, ones that won't turn them off.
Great thoughts my friend!
 
Apr 28, 2017
561
1,475
93
WA..the Evergreen State
I agree and I think that is why it's so important to be very sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and asking Him to give us the Words to say. Because He does (like you said) know their hearts, and can help us to put things into words that they understand and are attracted to, ones that won't turn them off.
Great thoughts my friend!
Thank you. I think we are likely on the same wave link; and we do share the same Holy Spirit. :cool:
 
Apr 28, 2017
561
1,475
93
WA..the Evergreen State
I agree and I think that is why it's so important to be very sensitive to the Holy Spirit, and asking Him to give us the Words to say. Because He does (like you said) know their hearts, and can help us to put things into words that they understand and are attracted to, ones that won't turn them off.
Great thoughts my friend!
Thank you. I think we are likely on the same wave link; and we do share the same Holy Spirit. :cool:
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cturtle

CoffeeDrinker

Helper
Staff member
Helper
May 1, 2017
1,010
1,792
113
Texas
1 Corinthians 5:9-11

9. When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin.

10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that.

11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.

Example.......you could not shop, eat, work etc if we were to avoid associating with people like this that are not Christians.

Blessings
FCJ
There are a lot of people in the church doing these things, too.
 

Fish Catcher Jim

Inactive
Feb 7, 2015
10,793
13,197
113
There are a lot of people in the church doing these things, too.
Not sure why you posted this but Paul was saying to Not Associate With People who claim to be Christians and live this way.

So if there are people who claim to be a Christian and live this way then it would stand to right that they would be in a church too.
Blessings
FCJ

1 Corinthians 5:9-11

9. When I wrote to you before, I told you not to associate with people who indulge in sexual sin.

10 But I wasn’t talking about unbelievers who indulge in sexual sin, or are greedy, or cheat people, or worship idols. You would have to leave this world to avoid people like that.

11 I meant that you are not to associate with anyone who claims to be a believer yet indulges in sexual sin, or is greedy, or worships idols, or is abusive, or is a drunkard, or cheats people. Don’t even eat with such people.
 
Sep 3, 2009
12,175
4,701
113
Florida
How much socializing do you do with the unsaved? It is easy to become a loner as a Christian. But I believe scripture is clear on the fact that God wants us to apply ourselves to mingling more with the unsaved. I believe we don't all 'apply' ourselves as much as we should.

God needs us at that dinner with the unsaved. In that locker room. In that elite group. I believe we need to pray more and apply our minds more to getting closer to the unsaved in order to win them over. Especially as times get worse. The disparity in morals between saved and unsaved is becoming increasingly noticeable. Socializing is becoming much harder. Evil people are only alive because God has not yet lost all hope in them. We should not either.

So I am just wondering what pointers or examples you have to share with others on this. Take for example the Friday evening bar meeting. Do you socialize there? Or go straight home. The weekend holiday with annoying unsaved family members.


1 Cor 5:9-10 has been quite an eye opener for me.

1 Cor 5:9-10 I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people 10 not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world.
I for one do not think that we need to sit at a bar and drink with drunks in order to give them the gospel. They are there because they are drunks and all you will do is make them mad and cause a confrontation and not a witness experience.

In Deland Fl. every Friday evening a local church stands on the downtown corners and yell the gospel at cars who are stopped at the traffic light. I do not believe that is what God had in mind when He said............"Come and let us reason one with another"..

In Orlando, another group stands outside of bars and try to witness to those coming out at 1 or 2 in the morning which has led to many fights.

To put it into more modern English, Paul is saying........
"I wrote a letter to you not to associate with sexually immoral people. But I don't mean the immoral of the world, or covetous, … ; for then you would have to leave the world. What I was writing about was if a Christian is one of these things, don't associate with them. I don't judge your associations with others in the world, and you are the judge of your associations in the church. God judges those others, so put away the wicked from among you."

This is another example of how we as Christians are actually told in the Scriptures to judge others in the church.

We have to associate with people in the world. Not everyone can or should be a hermit; otherwise how will the world see Christ in us? We can't teach the world if we don't associate with them. Paul says, however, to get the wicked, unrepentant sinners out of our midst so they don't bring us down or cause the world to misjudge the church
 
Aug 23, 2016
98
183
33
England
When Major said "I for one do not think that we need to sit at a bar and drink with drunks", that reminded me of when involved in industrial Company meetings and breaking for lunch, when choosing drinks, I was usually the only one to ask for a tomato juice instead of the alcohol that the rest always had. I was pleased to find how many said "What a good idea", and I found that my preference had been the desire of many others but they had not been keen to say so.
Similarly, I said one day that I had forgiven the one who had hurt me, and without any preaching, it turned out that so many of the party really wanted to hear about forgiveness, to the extent that God's forgiveness was talked about among people that wanted to know more about the Lord's Prayer they had never understood at school.
The Holy Spirit does prompt one how to act as well as what to say at the right time.
 
Apr 21, 2017
151
405
63
U.S.
Ministering to unbelievers and associating with them are two different things. The Bible makes it clear in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

James 4:4 also says, "Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God."

1 Corinthians 15:33 says, "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners."

Of course we need to minister, but we shouldn’t involve ourselves in corruptible things to do it. JMO
 
Sep 3, 2009
12,175
4,701
113
Florida
Ministering to unbelievers and associating with them are two different things. The Bible makes it clear in 2 Corinthians 6:14, “Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”

James 4:4 also says, "Ye adulterers and adulteresses, know ye not that the friendship of the world is enmity with God? whosoever therefore will be a friend of the world is the enemy of God."

1 Corinthians 15:33 says, "Be not deceived: evil communications corrupt good manners."

Of course we need to minister, but we shouldn’t involve ourselves in corruptible things to do it. JMO
There ya go!
 
Sep 3, 2009
12,175
4,701
113
Florida
When Major said "I for one do not think that we need to sit at a bar and drink with drunks", that reminded me of when involved in industrial Company meetings and breaking for lunch, when choosing drinks, I was usually the only one to ask for a tomato juice instead of the alcohol that the rest always had. I was pleased to find how many said "What a good idea", and I found that my preference had been the desire of many others but they had not been keen to say so.
Similarly, I said one day that I had forgiven the one who had hurt me, and without any preaching, it turned out that so many of the party really wanted to hear about forgiveness, to the extent that God's forgiveness was talked about among people that wanted to know more about the Lord's Prayer they had never understood at school.
The Holy Spirit does prompt one how to act as well as what to say at the right time.
I think that what you described is different than going into a bar and sitting and witnesses to drunks. I as well many years ago when friends were ordering drinks during lunch ordered tea.

We all have the ability to set examples where ever we go and what ever we do. But I promise you that drinking a whiskey and telling a drunk how good Jesus is will not work.

It would be like being married and visiting a prostitute with the reasoning being you were wanting to invite her to church. "Appearances" mean everything and a Christian is to shun even the appearance of evil. Just my opinion!!!

Another thought my grandfather told me a long time ago which is still true today, "You will run with who you brung".

Paraphrase......Ducks always run with ducks, dogs run with dogs, and drunks run with drunks.
 
Sep 3, 2009
12,175
4,701
113
Florida
1 Peter 3:15
I do not think that verse applies in the situation we are talking about. Yes we should always be able to tell people the good news and share Christ with them, but we must also be wise in that we do not place ourselves in a compromising position.

About 12 or 13 years ago, the Pastor of a large church in Deltona Fl. was forced to resign. It seems that he was going into one of the local bars in order to buy and sell cocaine.
A local newspaper reporter, of course an atheist, followed him several times, took pictures and then went to the police. He was of course arrested and had to resign. When he was arrested his 1st comment was.......I only went there in order to witness to the lost people there.

I personally think that 2 Corinthians 6:14 speaks to our conversation more appropriately........
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
 
Jun 26, 2015
919
662
93
71
UK
I do not think that verse applies in the situation we are talking about. Yes we should always be able to tell people the good news and share Christ with them, but we must also be wise in that we do not place ourselves in a compromising position.

About 12 or 13 years ago, the Pastor of a large church in Deltona Fl. was forced to resign. It seems that he was going into one of the local bars in order to buy and sell cocaine.
A local newspaper reporter, of course an atheist, followed him several times, took pictures and then went to the police. He was of course arrested and had to resign. When he was arrested his 1st comment was.......I only went there in order to witness to the lost people there.

I personally think that 2 Corinthians 6:14 speaks to our conversation more appropriately........
“Be ye not unequally yoked together with unbelievers: for what fellowship hath righteousness with unrighteousness? and what communion hath light with darkness?”
Hello Major,

I quoted it in regard to the points being made about witnessing to the unbelieving, sometimes we should wait to be asked concerning the hope that is within us, instead of speaking indiscriminately.

If we are asked, then the enquirer is ready to listen.

In Christ Jesus
Complete