Sometimes my anxiety feels like an affront to God

May 4, 2017
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Alberta, Canada
I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety disorder since a very young child. Multiple decades of ongoing life trauma compounded by a long career in emergency services has also left me with PTSD. I go through cycles of having things under control, and then, for no apparent reason, I go through cycles of anxiety. At its peak, I will be awoken several times a night from a panic attack that is already well under way - panic attacks that start in my sleep. Once awake, I engage in prayer to expel the anxiety from my mind and for the Lord to help calm me. I then can sleep until within an hour or two the next attack wakes me up. These cycles can last up to a few weeks, where, with prayer, medication, thought blocking, and professional help I get things back to somewhat normal.

When I do start having anxiety, I feel like it is an affront to God. What I mean by this is that if I fully trusted the Lord, then I should have no cause for anxiety. It is written, "Be anxious for nothing ..." I sincerely feel that if I was able to fully surrender to the Lord, that I would not be having these attacks. I sometimes see it as a failure on my part - a failure of faith. My anxiety issues show me that I have not fully and completely put my trust and faith in the Lord. This is something I must struggle with. Often this struggle is on a moment to moment basis when things are at their worst. I battle with my mind to surrender all to God. I feel the calmness of His presence. Then, moments or hours later, I find myself back at the beginning because I've let my mind wander away from its focus on God.

From this life-long battle I have definitely learned to turn to God. I have learned that God is often the only being in the entire universe that can truly help me in the deepest and darkest hours of my despair. There is a part of me that tells me that I've failed to fully surrender to God. Another part tells me that this disorder is teaching me how to surrender and that I simply have not accomplished this goal yet. And yet another thought makes me question whether this disorder is a means to an end - that end being that I am continually being compelled to keep my focus on God. When I pray during an attack, I pray that any thoughts or feelings being imposed upon me by the evil one be expelled from my mind and feelings. I pray that only those thoughts and feelings acceptable to God and that are a part of God's will for me, be the ones that remain within my mind. This does work for as long as I keep my thoughts with God at the center of them, but when I let distraction to occur, the anxiety-provoking thoughts sneak in. Again and again, I turn to God. Again and again, He helps me. I wish I could maintain perfect focus on Him. Full surrender is something I am striving to achieve with my mind, but I now see that it involves more than just the mind. It involves giving up the body, mind and spirit all to God, and this is something that goes far beyond simply an effort of the mind. I have yet to discover how to do this. I definitely have a lot to learn. The fact that when I am spending time in His presence I am at peace, shows me that it is possible. The anxiety tells me that I am flawed in terms of my attention on the Lord.

I am blessed in this because it does allow me to understand others who face similar struggles. Sometimes through my experiences I can in some small way help others by sharing what has helped me. For some people, just knowing that there are others who are going through similar issues helps break the isolation and stigma they may be feeling. I often wonder if others also feel like their anxiety is an affront to God in the same way that I do. Perhaps if I could find others that feel this way, it would tear down some of the isolation that I feel. At least I know for certain that God understands.
 
I feel the absolute same way...I feel mine is like a cross to bear or something because I didn't choose anxiety it chose me. Right now I woke up from a nightmare and I'm just wondering what is wrong with my brain.....

All I know is that is hard to live like this....
I've prayed and pleaded the blood of Jesus Christ over me and still had nightmares sometimes....idk what to do.
 

Cturtle

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Feb 11, 2015
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I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety disorder since a very young child. Multiple decades of ongoing life trauma compounded by a long career in emergency services has also left me with PTSD. I go through cycles of having things under control, and then, for no apparent reason, I go through cycles of anxiety. At its peak, I will be awoken several times a night from a panic attack that is already well under way - panic attacks that start in my sleep. Once awake, I engage in prayer to expel the anxiety from my mind and for the Lord to help calm me. I then can sleep until within an hour or two the next attack wakes me up. These cycles can last up to a few weeks, where, with prayer, medication, thought blocking, and professional help I get things back to somewhat normal.

When I do start having anxiety, I feel like it is an affront to God. What I mean by this is that if I fully trusted the Lord, then I should have no cause for anxiety. It is written, "Be anxious for nothing ..." I sincerely feel that if I was able to fully surrender to the Lord, that I would not be having these attacks. I sometimes see it as a failure on my part - a failure of faith. My anxiety issues show me that I have not fully and completely put my trust and faith in the Lord. This is something I must struggle with. Often this struggle is on a moment to moment basis when things are at their worst. I battle with my mind to surrender all to God. I feel the calmness of His presence. Then, moments or hours later, I find myself back at the beginning because I've let my mind wander away from its focus on God.

From this life-long battle I have definitely learned to turn to God. I have learned that God is often the only being in the entire universe that can truly help me in the deepest and darkest hours of my despair. There is a part of me that tells me that I've failed to fully surrender to God. Another part tells me that this disorder is teaching me how to surrender and that I simply have not accomplished this goal yet. And yet another thought makes me question whether this disorder is a means to an end - that end being that I am continually being compelled to keep my focus on God. When I pray during an attack, I pray that any thoughts or feelings being imposed upon me by the evil one be expelled from my mind and feelings. I pray that only those thoughts and feelings acceptable to God and that are a part of God's will for me, be the ones that remain within my mind. This does work for as long as I keep my thoughts with God at the center of them, but when I let distraction to occur, the anxiety-provoking thoughts sneak in. Again and again, I turn to God. Again and again, He helps me. I wish I could maintain perfect focus on Him. Full surrender is something I am striving to achieve with my mind, but I now see that it involves more than just the mind. It involves giving up the body, mind and spirit all to God, and this is something that goes far beyond simply an effort of the mind. I have yet to discover how to do this. I definitely have a lot to learn. The fact that when I am spending time in His presence I am at peace, shows me that it is possible. The anxiety tells me that I am flawed in terms of my attention on the Lord.

I am blessed in this because it does allow me to understand others who face similar struggles. Sometimes through my experiences I can in some small way help others by sharing what has helped me. For some people, just knowing that there are others who are going through similar issues helps break the isolation and stigma they may be feeling. I often wonder if others also feel like their anxiety is an affront to God in the same way that I do. Perhaps if I could find others that feel this way, it would tear down some of the isolation that I feel. At least I know for certain that God understands.
Hi Egraine,

God bless you abundantly sister with grace and peace.

It sounds to me that you have the Spirit of fear that attacks you more than it has any right to, as a born again child of God. And it seems to be very prevalent in You. Meaning it is oppressing and harassing you.

Everytime you speak that you have an anxiety disorder, ptsd, or any other real symptoms that the devil has gotten you to accept as normal for your life, because of all the ugliness you have encountered in your lifetime so far, you give it a right to stay within you and around you to harass and oppress you. By Jesus' stripes you have been healed, Jesus bought and paid for it over 2000 years ago.

In no way am I saying that any of the ugliness that you have gone through is unimportant, or that it did not happen. It was very real, but it has taken control of your life. The spirits behind all the awful things have got you bound up with fear.

The only way to be delivered is to resist the fear in every area of your life. And because it has taken so long for you to get where you are it may take a lot of practice to find everlasting peace. You do have The ability to believe God to be fully delivered immediately, but I would recommend meditating upon all the Scriptures about how God has total protection over you, as long as you listen to what He tells you. Meaning if you have a feeling not to go a certain way (down a certain road For example) or be in a certain area, you immediately turn around and get out of there and/or go another way.

Ps 91 is a promise from God for our protection from just about everything. And by meditating on all the Scriptures about God's protection over you, it will cause your mind to become agreeable with His Word, and will begin to work in your body. Hebrews 4:12 says that the Word is active (alive) and powerful. And it will change any situation and emotion if we choose to believe it over what we see or think or feel.

You are doing great in the fact that you continuously get your mind focuses on the Lord. And praying and resisting the anxiety symptoms is also a huge key to your victory.

When Jesus rose from the dead, He had the keys to death, hell and the grave. He has given those keys to us. God is not outraged or offended that you have this issue, but is saddened, that your not totally free from it yet. He is very pleased that your always coming to Him, and relying on Him to get you through this huge storm. If He was not you would not find relief. Remember what He did to the storms He was In? He rebuked them and told them peace be still. And they were calm.

You have His Spirit living you, and He has given you the authority to command your emotions and body to be still and calm.

If your open to it... our pastor has a great series called fighting the good fight of faith. I can give you the link to download. Jim and I have listened to it way to many times to count... lol.

Will be praying for you, and binding the spirit of fear that is harassing you.
Love in Christ
Gina
 

Cturtle

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I feel the absolute same way...I feel mine is like a cross to bear or something because I didn't choose anxiety it chose me. Right now I woke up from a nightmare and I'm just wondering what is wrong with my brain.....

All I know is that is hard to live like this....
I've prayed and pleaded the blood of Jesus Christ over me and still had nightmares sometimes....idk what to do.
Thank You Father for surrounding Autumn with Your peace and comfort. Fear in the name of Jesus I bind you from continuing to harass Autumn. She is a child of the King and she is resisting you, so you must flee from her. She is covered in His precious Blood and it protects her from all your attacks. Plus her King has given her, His armour so that she may know she is safe in Him. And has the abity to fight against any lies you try to feed her.
Thank You Father for her and for setting her free from this fear that is trying to destroy her. Show her how to fight the good fight of faith against these harassing spirits, and the wisdom to always know that she is safe in you.

Bless her Lord and surround her with Your very loving, protective arms. In Jesus Name, Amen
 
Feb 2, 2014
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Lord, I thank you for freeing Egraine and autumn oddity as you have given us power, love and a sound mind. Through you, we are healed. In Jesus' Name, Amen!

2 Timothy 1:7 (KJV)
For God hath not given us the spirit of fear; but of power, and of love, and of a sound mind.​

I find this preacher to be very helpful with real world issues using the word of God. I hope he helps you too.


youtu.be/BTOsxMRWEaA
 

bobinfaith

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I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety disorder since a very young child. Multiple decades of ongoing life trauma compounded by a long career in emergency services has also left me with PTSD. I go through cycles of having things under control, and then, for no apparent reason, I go through cycles of anxiety. At its peak, I will be awoken several times a night from a panic attack that is already well under way - panic attacks that start in my sleep. Once awake, I engage in prayer to expel the anxiety from my mind and for the Lord to help calm me. I then can sleep until within an hour or two the next attack wakes me up. These cycles can last up to a few weeks, where, with prayer, medication, thought blocking, and professional help I get things back to somewhat normal.

When I do start having anxiety, I feel like it is an affront to God. What I mean by this is that if I fully trusted the Lord, then I should have no cause for anxiety. It is written, "Be anxious for nothing ..." I sincerely feel that if I was able to fully surrender to the Lord, that I would not be having these attacks. I sometimes see it as a failure on my part - a failure of faith. My anxiety issues show me that I have not fully and completely put my trust and faith in the Lord. This is something I must struggle with. Often this struggle is on a moment to moment basis when things are at their worst. I battle with my mind to surrender all to God. I feel the calmness of His presence. Then, moments or hours later, I find myself back at the beginning because I've let my mind wander away from its focus on God.

From this life-long battle I have definitely learned to turn to God. I have learned that God is often the only being in the entire universe that can truly help me in the deepest and darkest hours of my despair. There is a part of me that tells me that I've failed to fully surrender to God. Another part tells me that this disorder is teaching me how to surrender and that I simply have not accomplished this goal yet. And yet another thought makes me question whether this disorder is a means to an end - that end being that I am continually being compelled to keep my focus on God. When I pray during an attack, I pray that any thoughts or feelings being imposed upon me by the evil one be expelled from my mind and feelings. I pray that only those thoughts and feelings acceptable to God and that are a part of God's will for me, be the ones that remain within my mind. This does work for as long as I keep my thoughts with God at the center of them, but when I let distraction to occur, the anxiety-provoking thoughts sneak in. Again and again, I turn to God. Again and again, He helps me. I wish I could maintain perfect focus on Him. Full surrender is something I am striving to achieve with my mind, but I now see that it involves more than just the mind. It involves giving up the body, mind and spirit all to God, and this is something that goes far beyond simply an effort of the mind. I have yet to discover how to do this. I definitely have a lot to learn. The fact that when I am spending time in His presence I am at peace, shows me that it is possible. The anxiety tells me that I am flawed in terms of my attention on the Lord.

I am blessed in this because it does allow me to understand others who face similar struggles. Sometimes through my experiences I can in some small way help others by sharing what has helped me. For some people, just knowing that there are others who are going through similar issues helps break the isolation and stigma they may be feeling. I often wonder if others also feel like their anxiety is an affront to God in the same way that I do. Perhaps if I could find others that feel this way, it would tear down some of the isolation that I feel. At least I know for certain that God understands.
Hello Egraine;

I agree with Sandpiper, Abdicate, Autumn Oddity and CTurtle (aren't these cool names?) and also want to thank you for sharing, which is a good start. They offer you some loving, prayer support and wisdom that will uplift you, sister.

I mentor men here in the Bay Area and was touched by your testimony.

I read your post on Three Random Facts and was blessed that every year on your birthday you visit the Dutch bakery, and even though you manage to eat the most of the mocha butter icing cake, that means you probably share a little with someone else, eh? lol!

Egraine, you bless the Dutch bakery by giving them business but also give your friendship.

You love your pets with very unique breeds. There are many pet lovers who read this and found a common ground with you. Your pets are precious to you, and they will find it interesting to learn more and research these types of pets.

You are a musician, a classical pianist. I don't know if you are still playing or not but I hope you will keep playing, even if it's quietly between you and the Lord. Music is an international language and in Christian worship the Lord inhabits our worship and praises.

Years ago I studied Christian Counseling at seminary and by no means am I qualified but what I did learn (praise God) from this class is the constant love and encouragement we can give to all of us as brothers and sisters in Christ.

Love breeds love, encouragement breeds encouragement.

You did just that. Though you are in communion daily with God with your challenges, He remains with you and will heal you in the name of Jesus!

In the meantime, you are giving your all in all to others, whether the Dutch bakery, sharing about your pets, and your piano playing. We desire to do the same with you, Egraine. Please keep coming back to Christian Forum Site so you can bless us as well, sister.

God bless you always!
 
Sep 3, 2009
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I have suffered from severe depression and anxiety disorder since a very young child. Multiple decades of ongoing life trauma compounded by a long career in emergency services has also left me with PTSD. I go through cycles of having things under control, and then, for no apparent reason, I go through cycles of anxiety. At its peak, I will be awoken several times a night from a panic attack that is already well under way - panic attacks that start in my sleep. Once awake, I engage in prayer to expel the anxiety from my mind and for the Lord to help calm me. I then can sleep until within an hour or two the next attack wakes me up. These cycles can last up to a few weeks, where, with prayer, medication, thought blocking, and professional help I get things back to somewhat normal.

When I do start having anxiety, I feel like it is an affront to God. What I mean by this is that if I fully trusted the Lord, then I should have no cause for anxiety. It is written, "Be anxious for nothing ..." I sincerely feel that if I was able to fully surrender to the Lord, that I would not be having these attacks. I sometimes see it as a failure on my part - a failure of faith. My anxiety issues show me that I have not fully and completely put my trust and faith in the Lord. This is something I must struggle with. Often this struggle is on a moment to moment basis when things are at their worst. I battle with my mind to surrender all to God. I feel the calmness of His presence. Then, moments or hours later, I find myself back at the beginning because I've let my mind wander away from its focus on God.

From this life-long battle I have definitely learned to turn to God. I have learned that God is often the only being in the entire universe that can truly help me in the deepest and darkest hours of my despair. There is a part of me that tells me that I've failed to fully surrender to God. Another part tells me that this disorder is teaching me how to surrender and that I simply have not accomplished this goal yet. And yet another thought makes me question whether this disorder is a means to an end - that end being that I am continually being compelled to keep my focus on God. When I pray during an attack, I pray that any thoughts or feelings being imposed upon me by the evil one be expelled from my mind and feelings. I pray that only those thoughts and feelings acceptable to God and that are a part of God's will for me, be the ones that remain within my mind. This does work for as long as I keep my thoughts with God at the center of them, but when I let distraction to occur, the anxiety-provoking thoughts sneak in. Again and again, I turn to God. Again and again, He helps me. I wish I could maintain perfect focus on Him. Full surrender is something I am striving to achieve with my mind, but I now see that it involves more than just the mind. It involves giving up the body, mind and spirit all to God, and this is something that goes far beyond simply an effort of the mind. I have yet to discover how to do this. I definitely have a lot to learn. The fact that when I am spending time in His presence I am at peace, shows me that it is possible. The anxiety tells me that I am flawed in terms of my attention on the Lord.

I am blessed in this because it does allow me to understand others who face similar struggles. Sometimes through my experiences I can in some small way help others by sharing what has helped me. For some people, just knowing that there are others who are going through similar issues helps break the isolation and stigma they may be feeling. I often wonder if others also feel like their anxiety is an affront to God in the same way that I do. Perhaps if I could find others that feel this way, it would tear down some of the isolation that I feel. At least I know for certain that God understands.
You said..........
" I am blessed in this because it does allow me to understand others who face similar struggles. Sometimes through my experiences I can in some small way help others by sharing what has helped me."

That is well said and Biblically true.

Why do we have these types of things afflict us???

2 Corth. 1:3-7..........
"Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ. If we are distressed, it is for your comfort and salvation, if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which produces in you patient endurance of the same sufferings we suffer. And our hope for you is firm, because we know that just as you share in our sufferings, so also you share in our comfort."
 
May 4, 2017
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Thank you Major. I have slowly learned throughout life that it is useful to take what we perceive as disadvantages and to try to find ways to turn them into advantages for the glory of God. I know that He never gives us more than we can handle - it is not his goal to destroy us. However, He will send us challenges in order to refine us further, and in facing those challenges should our strength begin to fail, He always offers us His strength and teaches us to turn to Him in all things. I am a work in progress and the fact that I do have to face adversity like we all do, just shows me that my Heavenly Father loves me enough to teach me these valuable lessons. I am truly blessed.
 
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I know anxiety and depression spirit can be a real pain in the backside. And it gets us when we least expect it. i wonder if they are those evil spirits that infect us or have been passed on to us through our family tree?
I get anxiety and depression on and off in different circumstances and get discouraged and then I recall something I read about the devil and his army will always try to discourage us and use these spirits to keep us from God and our dreams!
I'm praying now that Lord Jesus has lessened those spirits of the dark and leads us into the Peace and Blessings which is ours and from Grace
Xxx
 

Cturtle

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I know anxiety and depression spirit can be a real pain in the backside. And it gets us when we least expect it. i wonder if they are those evil spirits that infect us or have been passed on to us through our family tree?
I get anxiety and depression on and off in different circumstances and get discouraged and then I recall something I read about the devil and his army will always try to discourage us and use these spirits to keep us from God and our dreams!
I'm praying now that Lord Jesus has lessened those spirits of the dark and leads us into the Peace and Blessings which is ours and from Grace
Xxx
Those spirits are both. They can come passed down from generations (generational curses) and also from everyday life, due to living in a cursed world full of negativity.

The negativity is the spirit of death and is how the enemy taught Adam how to die. To speak words of death. In Deuteronomy 30:19-20 we see that God has given each one of us the choice between life and death. The more we speak death and negativity into our lives it works against us.

And like you said... when tempted with depression, it is discouragement from the enemy. If we are not in faith, we will not achieve all God has for us. And depression is meditating upon the words of doubt that the enemy tries to sow into our minds, that is opposite of God's Word.

So when depression tries to come on you... combat it with God's tools... rejoicing and praising Him.

Blessings To you my friend!
 
Apr 28, 2017
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Depression is often a generational thing which runs in families ; but you don't have to accept it as inevitable. The Lord Jesus via the Holy Spirit sets us free by the power of His Name (Jesus) and gives us victory over a generational spirit of depression if we believe it and invoke His Name in prayer.

Still depression can come when something bad happens to us or else when we are in a crisis situation. Even then it helps to think out the following scriptures as well as meditate and pray with the many of the Psalms where David is writing about depression and focusing on God in worship and praise.

Here are two of my favorites:

Philippians 4:6-8 "Do not be anxious about anything, but in every thing, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. Finally, ..., whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things. Whatever you have learned or received or heard from me, or seen in me--put it into practice. And the God of peace will be with you." (NIV)

Psalm 40:1-3a
"I waited patiently for the Lord,
he turned to me and heard my cry.
He lifted me out of the slimy pit,
and set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God. "

Blessings,

sandpiper <><
 

Fish Catcher Jim

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When a believer is afflicted with things such as the things mentioned one must realize that God did not do this nor did He place some tragedy or condition on you so you could help some one else.

However when we have dealt with things our selves we can Share the comfort and healing that God has shown us.

God's not going to afflict Mr. Jones with cancer so Mr Jones can minister or comfort Mr smith within his struggle with cancer.

I have added this simply because many folks believe that God gave them their illness to help others.

Blessings
FCJ
 
When a believer is afflicted with things such as the things mentioned one must realize that God did not do this nor did He place some tragedy or condition on you so you could help some one else.

However when we have dealt with things our selves we can Share the comfort and healing that God has shown us.

God's not going to afflict Mr. Jones with cancer so Mr Jones can minister or comfort Mr smith within his struggle with cancer.

I have added this simply because many folks believe that God gave them their illness to help others.

Blessings
FCJ
I really like this and believe it needs to be said more. I also agree god doesn't afflict people just so we can comfort them... However good can always come from a bad situation.. With that said I believe that sometimes bad things just happen.
 
Those spirits are both. They can come passed down from generations (generational curses) and also from everyday life, due to living in a cursed world full of negativity.

The negativity is the spirit of death and is how the enemy taught Adam how to die. To speak words of death. In Deuteronomy 30:19-20 we see that God has given each one of us the choice between life and death. The more we speak death and negativity into our lives it works against us.

And like you said... when tempted with depression, it is discouragement from the enemy. If we are not in faith, we will not achieve all God has for us. And depression is meditating upon the words of doubt that the enemy tries to sow into our minds, that is opposite of God's Word.

So when depression tries to come on you... combat it with God's tools... rejoicing and praising Him.

Blessings To you my friend!
Those spirits are both. They can come passed down from generations (generational curses) and also from everyday life, due to living in a cursed world full of negativity.

The negativity is the spirit of death and is how the enemy taught Adam how to die. To speak words of death. In Deuteronomy 30:19-20 we see that God has given each one of us the choice between life and death. The more we speak death and negativity into our lives it works against us.

And like you said... when tempted with depression, it is discouragement from the enemy. If we are not in faith, we will not achieve all God has for us. And depression is meditating upon the words of doubt that the enemy tries to sow into our minds, that is opposite of God's Word.

So when depression tries to come on you... combat it with God's tools... rejoicing and praising Him.

Blessings To you my friend!
Its defintely generational.... Anxiety and mental illness runs on my moms side of the family
 
May 4, 2017
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Alberta, Canada
My mother's childhood and early teens were spent in a Nazi occupied country during WWII. What she endured for many years altered her permanently and halted her development so that emotionally she operated at the level of about an 8 year old. Recent studies have also shown that prolonged exposure to war trauma also can genetically alter the parent so that they pass on the propensity for anxiety to their children. This, coupled with her anxious modeling behaviour, is no doubt partly how I learned this unfortunate way of thinking. I make no mistake about it - it is faulty thinking on my part that begins the anxiety, and these thinking patterns can become habitual. I also believe that with work through special programs like Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and with God's help, anxiety can be overcome or at least lessened significantly. There are no mysteries in my mind where all of this evolved. But it is also my responsibility to do something about it as much as possible to overcome this disordered thinking. As in all things I turn to the Lord for the strength to help me help myself, and I find that the power of prayer to ward off the worst moments of the worst attacks is something that actually works. I firmly believe that with God all things are possible, and this is one of many areas of my life where God actively assists me. I, in turn, see His work in my life on a daily basis, and I am reminded that without Him, very little improvement would be realized. I do not believe that God caused for me to have this affliction, but I do feel that He wants us to bring all our problems, hopes, and joys to Him. I also do not believe that God made me like this for the purposes of helping others with similar issues, but that does not stop me from feeling blessed in being ABLE to relate to others in with similar issues. Ultimately, the evil that exists in the world helped bring some of this upon me. It is now for me to choose how I wish to manage this: I choose to fight it, to call upon God, and to try to support others in their struggles.

I just wanted to clarify this. Thank you.