Thank you i want to live without fear I've just become so overwhelmed with self awareness that i constantly worry and wonder what will it be like what will happen what about this and that and i keep questioning everything and i just start panicing which leads to worse thoughts and while I've been getting better i still can barely sleep i don't eat and i still have trouble motivating myself to do anything even showing love to my girlfriend who i love so much but im just so messed up i can't even love her and i know you all are probly sick of me and tired of giving me advice and i still say all of these things but your honestly helping me im just in a bad placebigman,
Like Rusty said, don't trust people's claims, the only One we can trust is Jesus, please don't take offense, I offer this as brotherly advice, ...you need to stay away from this kind of weirdness and you need to be plugged in to a God honoring, Bible believing, Bible teaching church, you need them and they need you(you might not believe this at this point in your walk with the Lord, but you are a part of the Body of Christ and there is a church somewhere that needs the gifts and talents the Lord has given you), ...when I was first saved I started to realize that my church was wrong on more things than they were right, I prayed for the Lord to put me in the church where He wanted me to be, He moved me to another State, into the church He had chosen for me, there I learned grace and the love of Christ exhibited by the brothers and sisters.
Now, from my own experience, I OD'ed on acid back in the sixties, I was raised in a cult that didn't believe in Hell, but I knew that if I died I would go to Hell, all I can say is the Holy Spirit must of been overriding the effects of the drug and "enlightening" me, as I was falling to the ground I cried out the only thing I knew about God, they called Him Father, "Oh Father," I was instantaneously straight, there isn't a hospital or medicine in the world that can do that, I "knew" I had been kept from dying by God, however, regrettably, it was 18 years later before I received His Son as my Savior and Lord. So I guess you could say I had a near death experience, but it didn't cause me to seek or turn to the Lord, au contraire, I dove deeper into the depths of debauchery and sin, finally the wages of my sin kicked in and I went crazy, a friend gave me his Bible and I found that reading the words printed in red would comfort and bring some form of sanity into my spirit, I didn't take the drugs the mental hospital gave me, but just kept reading those words in red, over and over and over, finally after 18 months the declared me "healed," I started attending a church and then was born again. PTL
So, you see, my faith came from hearing God and hearing Him came from reading His Word, so bro, find a church and get into the Word, ...He who keeps us never slumbers or sleeps and He who started a good work in us will finish it.