Here is a copy of what the Holy Spirit wrote to a member who was struggling with things.... Jim (fcj) and I pray it ministers to you as well
Trust me... God is pleased with all that you are doing to learn and get to know Him. His eyes are constantly on you, and He is pleased.
As i was writing this God reminded me about when i was first learning to get to know Him again, and putting His Word into practice. I was reading a book called captured by Grace by Dr. David Jeremiah. The following was a few paragraphs that jumped off the page and made me feel as if GOD was speaking directly to me at that moment (I firmly believe He was). I pray it blesses and encourages you as it did for me
The first paragraph is written about/by John Newton after loosing his adoptive daughter Eliza.
Her grieving adoptive father prepared a little memorial book for the girl that he had awaited for so long. In it he wrote: "if we know and trust Him....He chooses better for us than we can for ourselves..... but now i can praise and adore Him for.....His plan. I not only can bow......to His sovereignty, but I admire His wisdom and goodness, and can say from my heart, He has done all things well.
The rest of this is from the author.....
Can you say that about your walk with God? Can you praise and adore Him even when your heart is breaking and you feel overwhelmed by disappointment? It could be that your struggling with some trial at this very moment. If you can place your trust totally in His Love and His promise to work all things for your good, then you will have taken a step toward embracing the mysteries of His grace. You will bear a slightly closer resemblance to the Savior who gave His life to save you.
Then God will look upon your life, smile, and say, "Yes, My child. How you've grown since you first came to know Me! You're becoming wiser and stronger every day. There was a time when you could rejoice only when the sun was shining. But now your soul is taking on real substance. Now you are becoming sturdy and strong. I have trusted you with this burden, and you have honored Me through the stubbornness of your faith".
"Though your eyes are presently filled with tears, My child, and though your shoulders sag with unhappiness, I want you to know something. I want you to be assured that our adventure together is only beginning. Trials remain for you to face, but behind each obstacle there lies a greater joy. And all along the way, I have paved your road with blessings to remind you of the inheritance that is yours as My child. Walk on, now, in the joy that will not be slowed even by sadness. Walk on toward the crown of glory that has your name on it."
"Walk on, My child. And let us walk together."
As i read this...tears were flowing, and i knew that this was God speaking to me, (this was about 7 or 8 years ago) I hung onto the blessings part that were along the way....and it helped to get me through the next storm or trial. I pray it gives you the same hope!
Here is another verse God gave me a few years ago...1 Peter 5:12b.....My purpose in writing is to encourage you and assure you that what you are experiencing is truly part of God’s grace for you. Stand firm in this grace.
God loves you and is more than capable to help you to know His voice. So don't put any time into doubting yourself. Philippians 2:13 says that it is He who dwells in you (via the Holy Spirit) giving you the power and desire to do what pleases Him. What we all have to do is learn to trust ourselves to know His leading.
God trusts us with His precious Word, and knows that when we are seeking Him, He can get through to us because He knows that we have a willing and teachable heart. For God always looks at the heart of the person, and is more concerned with the process of learning faith and trusting in Him, and not on the outcome. He knows that anyone truly seeking Him will come running into His loving arms to repent if we miss it. And that pleases Him more than perfectly walking out our salvation.
God bless you. Keep your head up and keep trusting God to help you understand everything.... for Jesus told His disciples "unto you it has been given to know the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven" we also are His disciples and that applies to us as well. For we have the Spirit of truth living inside of us (john 16:13-15). And if we don't know or understand... all we have to do is ask and James 1:6 says He will give us the wisdom with out any problems... all we have to do is expect in faith that He is able