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I was brought up in a non - christian family,but in a christian environment. Why?I don't know either.I was sent to a christian kindergarten,and my nanny was a christian.I did stuffs like singing graces before eating,but more for the fun than the meaning it holds.

Then I was sent to a catholic primary school,where I heard alot about Jesus,but never did know Him.I remember the times,where it was some sort of a privilege to be able to walk up to the 'sacred' table during mass sessions and drinking ribena and waffles.Actually,it seemed so because that was the only time we could eat openly in the hall. Other than that,really,I suppose it was the air,chokeful of suspense and excitement, that makes you want to be part of it. But I also remember that at Pri 4, when I actually listened attentively to the Priest during the times he talked,I was kinda freaked out by them.Cause he said,'The blood of Christ keep you in eternal life,the body of Christ keep you in eternal life.' And I was like,eeeeeeeeeew?CANNIBAL.And because I wasn't one who dared ask questions,I just kept myself locked with this perception.

During the early secondary school years,I met with,and was 'betrayed' by many of my christian friends,whom I've held in high regard and trusted.So then my trust was shattered,and I vowed never to become christian.I felt that I HATE people who call themselves christians.I promised myself that I'd NEVER become christian. I'd come to the point where I associated them all as hypocrites-people who don't practice what they preach.Also, my christian cousin would always pick on me,as she knew I could never retaliate.

However,that all changed during the beginning of my sec 4 year,when the previous batch of SERVErs came and took over the chapel timeslot.It was then that I felt inspired to re-learn about the christian faith.I also felt compelled to learn more about the SERVE programme,and to take part in it.

So straight after chapel,I gathered my stuffs,and ran to the canteen where Ps Glenn & Serene were sitting.I asked Ps Serene more about the programme,and how it's run.I felt that hey! I want to join,but it's my O level year,so maybe I'll consider after the exams are over.

I felt heartened that even though I wasn't a christian,and did not attend SJC services,I was still allowed a place to study in the Shalom room.Also,whenever I was feeling down,or discouraged,or just feel like giving up,Ps Serene was always there to talk to me,as well as give advice.She was either there with me,or for me.Actually, I think it's a little of both.

Straight after O levels though,I'd forgotten about the silent promise I made to myself earlier in the year.The first vocation I signed up for was to be a volunteer at the Handicapped Youth's camp.I was rejected,with nary an interview.I was dejected,and upset.I went to the chapel on that day,wanting to find Ps Serene for advice. However,she wasn't there.Instead,I had a talk with Ps Bertram,and was given a flyer about SERVE '08.And that was when it hit me,that I'd forgotten about it.And yes,part of the reason why I signed up,was because there's a chance I might get to work with the handicapped! So I was like WOW! So I signed up for it.

When I first stepped into Shaw Hall,I told myself that I will not trust anyone,I will not talk to anyone,unless they first talked to me,and I will not share too much about myself.That I am above looking for people to connect with.I was posted to The 13th Disciple and though we were the last group to warm up to each other,I NEVER regretted making the decision to join SERVE.And I suppose I was put into this group not by chance,but through His will.Whenever people said stuffs like that in the past,I'd roll my eyes and instantly stop listening.But now I know better.

I'm thankful to be in this group,as they've really helped me to grow alot in my walk with Him.Some of them especially,were there for me when I thought no one would care;when I needed them most,they were there. When I got back my O's results,I was like,OH NO.Will they look down on me?But no.They just gave me words of encouragement,and talked to me like I was a normal person.Whenever I am down or in the mood for self harm, they are always there just in time,like everything was orchestrated.I never got to the point where I can kill myself.Somehow,someone would always message me at the time I felt ready,to convince me that I really wasn't,and that He who loves me feels the hurt when I self harm. Remember the suicide letters? And my detailed plans?It's gone,all gone. Like magic.You built me up,and taught me a lesson I'd never forget.

Through the attachment,I learnt to be content with whatever I'm blessed to receive.I learnt also,to appreciate the people around me.People I took for granted,people whom I thought I hated,I'm now on the mend. I learnt to look past perceived differences,and to appreciate people for who they are.As individuals,but one in His kingdom. Big or small,fat or thin,beautiful or ugly,we're all His.We started at the same starting point,but the fininshing lines defer.

The road to righteousness is narrow,but that which leads to evil is wide
I've already read that :D
But I thought that testimonials have a section of their own? :confused:

You are right your post could fit in either thread but I know far more people will read your wonderful testimony here and I would like it to encourage lots of people.

It is a wonderful introduction to who you are.

Thank you
That was so lovely! What a journey you have taken!
May you continue to find joy and peace and love in your walk with Jesus. May you find friendship and comfort and opportunities to minister to others as you had been ministered to.

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