As a Boy, and a Teen, as and Adult as a Senior.
I am grateful that there have been very few times in my life that I did not know God was 100% in my life.
I may not have acted like he was many times. But I have never found myself denying him.
I do know when younger the Trinity really confused me for sometimes. I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I knew he was God in Human form, and
died so I could live by having that acceptance. But I remember, God is a human now? Then having come from a Mormon family, the knowledge early on
Is what added to that confusion, as the take is quite different. There is a plan and a destination in accepting Jesus as my Savior.
Or is there? I believe the destination has already occurred. Because by accepting Christ, I am already where I need to be.
The next step will be the Lords not mine. I do know it will be and amazing time when we are lifted into a new world.
I will say that knowing and being closer to God, and the longer one does that the more painful it is as well at times.
Because the real world reality hits hard what Christ actually did.
Imagine someone that loves you more then anyone, but forgives you as well. That is a wow. Feeling so loved.
But, I have let God down so many times that knowing he exists makes that very painful. I have wondered at times how peaceful
not knowing him would be. Because I feel I do not deserve it. The love that Christ gave me, is something words can not describe.
But I can not ever take away that feeling that I really at times did not think I deserve his grace.
But I pray and that feeling passes. I realize we all fall short. But I am 61 now and he has been there as long as I can remember.
I can not deny God even if I wanted to. As I feel wrapped and protected so deeply, that my mind may place me in sins path.
But I know. 100% God is there, and no one can tell me he isn't. I feel him in my life and always have. That is a blessing.
But also trying to live a life that deserves it is very hard. Even though deserving is not the requirement . It my human brain.
But I know I am not in charge.
As humans cannot earn or deserve God’s favor through their own righteousness or works (Romans 3:20, Galatians 2:16). The concept of deserving is rooted in human pride and neglects God’s grace and mercy. Instead, God chooses to save and redeem people solely based on His sovereign will and love (Ephesians 1:4-5, Romans 9:15-16).
When we think we do not deserve God, we are acknowledging our inherent sinfulness and the futility of trying to earn His approval through our own efforts (Isaiah 64:6, Psalm 130:3-4). This humility is essential for receiving God’s grace, as it recognizes our absolute dependence on Him.
This is why we can not do this alone. Deserving does not assign a destination for us. Grace does, and Christ accepting all our sins.
I think we are always on a Journey, I know I am. Its not enough to memorize the New and Old Testament. As we grow and age.
The words take hold of us, and its make it harder to sperate from God. I knew more about God when I was younger.
I know more about what being saved truly is being older.
Lord, I am so grateful for you being with me in this life. It was rough, and without your love. I am not sure how I would have made it this far.
I am grateful that there have been very few times in my life that I did not know God was 100% in my life.
I may not have acted like he was many times. But I have never found myself denying him.
I do know when younger the Trinity really confused me for sometimes. I accepted Jesus as my Savior. I knew he was God in Human form, and
died so I could live by having that acceptance. But I remember, God is a human now? Then having come from a Mormon family, the knowledge early on
Is what added to that confusion, as the take is quite different. There is a plan and a destination in accepting Jesus as my Savior.
Or is there? I believe the destination has already occurred. Because by accepting Christ, I am already where I need to be.
The next step will be the Lords not mine. I do know it will be and amazing time when we are lifted into a new world.
I will say that knowing and being closer to God, and the longer one does that the more painful it is as well at times.
Because the real world reality hits hard what Christ actually did.
Imagine someone that loves you more then anyone, but forgives you as well. That is a wow. Feeling so loved.
But, I have let God down so many times that knowing he exists makes that very painful. I have wondered at times how peaceful
not knowing him would be. Because I feel I do not deserve it. The love that Christ gave me, is something words can not describe.
But I can not ever take away that feeling that I really at times did not think I deserve his grace.
But I pray and that feeling passes. I realize we all fall short. But I am 61 now and he has been there as long as I can remember.
I can not deny God even if I wanted to. As I feel wrapped and protected so deeply, that my mind may place me in sins path.
But I know. 100% God is there, and no one can tell me he isn't. I feel him in my life and always have. That is a blessing.
But also trying to live a life that deserves it is very hard. Even though deserving is not the requirement . It my human brain.
But I know I am not in charge.
As humans cannot earn or deserve God’s favor through their own righteousness or works (Romans 3:20, Galatians 2:16). The concept of deserving is rooted in human pride and neglects God’s grace and mercy. Instead, God chooses to save and redeem people solely based on His sovereign will and love (Ephesians 1:4-5, Romans 9:15-16).
When we think we do not deserve God, we are acknowledging our inherent sinfulness and the futility of trying to earn His approval through our own efforts (Isaiah 64:6, Psalm 130:3-4). This humility is essential for receiving God’s grace, as it recognizes our absolute dependence on Him.
- But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved)” (Ephesians 2:4-5).
- “For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith—and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God—not by works, so that no one can boast” (Ephesians 2:8-9).
- “But God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8).
This is why we can not do this alone. Deserving does not assign a destination for us. Grace does, and Christ accepting all our sins.
I think we are always on a Journey, I know I am. Its not enough to memorize the New and Old Testament. As we grow and age.
The words take hold of us, and its make it harder to sperate from God. I knew more about God when I was younger.
I know more about what being saved truly is being older.
Lord, I am so grateful for you being with me in this life. It was rough, and without your love. I am not sure how I would have made it this far.