I recently met and started getting to know a Christian man who I liked very much. Everything was going fine and we were day by day starting to get closer. However, I disagree with him on a minor theological matter so he told me I could bring my opinion on the subject up at his next bible study ( he facilitates a bible study every wk). So at his next bible study I voiced my opinion on the matter but I did it in a tacky way, I was more confrontational than conversational and it greatly upset him and maybe even embarrassed him in front of the other person that was there. I later apologized taking responsibility for my actions and he forgave me....however...our relationship hasn't bee the same since. He said that what I did turned him off and so he is no longer attracted to me and is only willing to be friends. I personally don't feel like what happened was that big of a deal but he is a very sensitive person so I believe what happened just really affected him. I'm curious to know what others think about this and if this could have all been a work of God to show us that we aren't right for each other or maybe an act of the devil to tear us apart. We both have a desire to get into ministry at some point in our lives and are preparing for it now. Any feedback would be appreciated. Thanks
Theological difference
- Thread starter Monet
- Start date
Hello Monet;
Thank you for sharing your testimony and want to encourage you. When you opened up about your disagreement with your brother friend in Christ, you were being honestly transparent. He invited you share your view at the Bible study which he leads.
As a teacher myself of Bible studies the Lord always hears my prayer request to keep my heart open and prepared during the Bible studies or sermons to those who will have a different view, opinion, disagreement - as well as their manner or tone.
When you apologized for being tactful, again you did the right thing in God's sight to the Bible study teacher. We are to hold church leaders accountable but also remain submissive to their leading.
Hebrews 13:17, 17 Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they are keeping watch over your souls, as those who will have to give an account. Let them do this with joy and not with groaning, for that would be of no advantage to you.
It's good of your friend to forgive you but his remark about "not being attracted to you and limiting your relationship to just being friends," is because he is hurt. When we forgive we still need God's strength to get us through the process of healing from our hurt. Please pray and give him time.
We will also be praying for you as you have shared your feelings for your friend. I hope this helps.
God bless you and your family.
Thank you so much! Update...we ran into each other at church today and ended up hanging out for a while afterwards so everything is fine now. He basically just needed some time to heal like you said. Glory to God for giving him a heart to forgive and for our friendship being restored!
My detached view is that your combined maturity level is not strong enough to overcome this. But this is more a signal to you than about you. It means something minor can't be overcome or overlooked. The tacky delivery is on you, but again, if you apologized and he forgave, he should be able to move on. Do you see the clues there?
By contrast, I had a great conversation going with a Jewish Christian woman for about 8 hours online; she lived about 2 hours away by ferry into Canada. Lovely expressions and persona that came through on chat. When it came time to try to meet, she said there was something she had to ask me about. It was whether I believed Peter actually ate the food of Gentiles in Acts 10, 11. In spite of huge areas of agreement, this was a deal breaker. The thing was, she was now doing to me what the hardliners in the passage were doing--but there was no awareness that this was being repeated. She said her elders (a Messianic fellowship) would not allow her to go further with me!
