This is only a joke!

This is only a joke!

A plane is on its way to Montreal when a blonde in Economy Class gets
> up and moves to the First Class section and sits down. The flight
> attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then
> tells the blonde that she paid for Economy and that she will have to
> sit in the back.
> The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal
> and I'm staying right here!" The flight attendant goes into the
> cockpit and tells the pilot and copilot that there is some blonde
> bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move
> back to her seat. The copilot goes back to the blonde and tries to
> explain that because she only paid for Economy she will have to leave
> and return to her seat.
> The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Montreal
> and I'm staying right here!" The copilot tells the pilot that he
> probably should have the police waiting when they land to arrest this
> blonde woman that won't listen to reason.
> The pilot says "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married
> to a blonde. I speak 'blonde'!"
> He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and she says "Oh, I'm
> sorry.".gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy section.
> The flight attendant and copilot are amazed and asked him what he said
> to make her move without any fuss.
> "I told her First Class isn't going to Montreal!"
killer biscuits

(actual AP headline)

Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and while
there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.

Later, several people noticed her sitting in her car with the windows rolled up
and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.

One customer who had been at the store for a while became concerned and walked
over to the car. He noticed that Linda's eyes were now open, and she looked very
strange. He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she'd been shot in
the back of the head, and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.

The man called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were
locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head. When they finally
got in, they found tha t Linda had a wad of bread dough on the back of her head.

A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise
that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her

When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it
was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered and tried to
hold her brains in for over an hour until someone noticed and
came to her aid. :eek:
not really a joke, but heart warming

Cherokee Indian Youth's rite of Passage

Do you know the legend of the Cherokee Indian youth's rite
Of passage?

His father takes him into the forest, blindfolds him and
Leaves him alone.
He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not
Remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through
it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the
night, he is a MAN. He cannot tell the other boys of this
experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of
Wild beasts must surely be all around him. Maybe even some
human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and
shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the
blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man.

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed
his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting
on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night,
protecting his son from harm.

We,too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, our
Heavenly Father is watching over us, sitting on the stump beside
us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him. :shepherd: