"tired" Of God?

It's not going to happen overnight, I've been at this for over 20 years now. The fact that you morn and question your salvation is encouraging and your suspicions are warranted.

Consider the words of Jesus;

Someone asked him, “Lord, are only a few people going to be saved?” He said to them, “Make every effort to enter through the narrow door, because many, I tell you, will try to enter and will not be able to. (Luke 13 23)

Compare this to;

“Enter through the narrow gate. For wide is the gate and broad is the road that leads to destruction, and many enter through it. But small is the gate and narrow the road that leads to life, and only a few find it. (Matthew 7 13)

So if you compare Luke with Matthew, it's not only the few, it's the few of the few (I would believe God's idea of a few is different than ours, much like 2 Peter 3 8). I read this to say if you get around all the false teachers and all the false religions and actually find the true Christianity and maybe even confess Lord Jesus to be your savior, you will still struggle to get in and may not.

True Christianity is not responding to the alter call, and signing a card, and your in the Kingdom. This is what's referred to Easy Believism. I don't believe Jesus taught anywhere that being a Christian is easy. Not only do you have the devil and all his forces against you but everything is this world as well.

The example in Luke above; "Make every effort" translates to "Agonize" in the Greek. Jesus says you must "agonize" to enter the Kingdom.

I don't read anywhere in the Bible where someone just slipped and fell into salvation.

I feel encouraged that you question your salvation because 99% of the people out there either think they are in the Kingdom already or they don't even care.

I'll leave you with the words of Paul just before his beheading;

I have fought the good fight, I have finished the race, I have kept the faith. (2 Timothy 4 7 NIV)
I had a service call to a high school in the city last week-thousands of kids there. 20 minutes upon arrival, I was departing and my heart was about to explode-walking through the halls passing all these kids that I know-most of them are going to Hell...

The hardest part about being a Christian-is caring for other people; and then the realization hits you-they have rejected God. I was almost in tears walking out of that high school. How do you think Pastor's feel?

On the opposite end of the spectrum-yesterday we had two older ladies come forward for salvation-PRAISE THE LORD! Hallelujah! Two more sisters in heaven...
On Bible Study.

Jesus says in Matthew;

Matthew 7 21 “Not everyone who says to Me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ shall enter the kingdom of heaven, but he who does the will of My Father in heaven. 22 Many will say to Me in that day, ‘Lord, Lord, have we not prophesied in Your name, cast out demons in Your name, and done many wonders in Your name?’ 23 And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness!’

Imagine the surprise of “many”, when on that day of Judgment, Jesus says; “I never knew you!”. Here we have professing Christians that say; “Lord, Lord” and claim to have done this, that, and the other all in the name of Jesus, and He says; “Depart from Me!”.

I find this to be the hardest teaching of the New Testament. I prayed that through His grace I would make every effort to know Him and to do His will, so His knowledge of me would be unquestionable. God gave us His word so that we can know Him and that is of major importance to the Christian.

To any new scholar of the Bible it must be known in this modern day there are barriers to understanding the Bible and to gain a good understanding of the Bible one must overcome the barriers of; history, language, geography, and culture.

In the days before electronic media, studying the Bible could become a chore but these days there is no excuse. I do all my Bible study on my iPad, I have audio Bibles, Bible’s in different translations, Bibles in the original language, Bible apps for Lexicon and Concordance, and apps for the geography of the Bible. I have the app “Grace To You” (which I highly recommend) which is a library of Bible exposition.

My method of study is to read the scriptures verse by verse and take notes, listen to the exposition on the same verses and compare notes, trace on the map any places, distance, or locations if relevant, cross reference to gain additional context, maybe I’ll look to see how many times a particular word appears other places in Scripture to again gain additional or proper context.

It’s difficult to explain, and nonsense to the unbeliever but it is very real experience. The more you read the Bible in context, the more you will understand the Bible in context, and the more truth that is revealed back to you. You may read a verse in the Scriptures that sounds completely absurd but once you understand the; history, language, geography, culture, and overall context it becomes just plain and simple truth.

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been in my studies and I’ll have an epiphany and think to myself; “It’s true, it’s all true, every single word from cover-to-cover, it is all true”, and the most exciting and humbling part of it is; no human revealed this to me but my Father who is in heaven.
On Prayer;

We are to be so grateful to our Lord Jesus for His response to the Apostles when they asked; “Lord, teach us to pray.” and His response; “Pray in this way” in Luke 11.

Please note that Jesus didn’t say; pray with these exact words every single time over and over and over again as “Many” have understood this. Jesus states just the opposite in Matthew 6 7 right before the Lord’s Prayer, so I don’t see how so “Many” got it wrong, how lazy, I don’t think God even listens to them...

Anyway, I believe; “Pray in this way” to mean a pattern for our prayer;

Our Father who are in Heaven, holy be Your Name;
(Father in Heaven, Holy, Holy, Holy is Your Name, You alone are Holy, You alone are God, You alone are most high. I worship You, I praise You, I exalt you on High, all glory and honor and praise be Yours almighty Father for ever and ever.)

Your Kingdom come, Your Will be done, on earth as it is in Heaven.
(Father I pray for Your will and not a will of my own. I long for the day Your Kingdom is restored on earth as it is in Heaven, as it once was in the days You called it “Good”. Heavenly Father I long for the return of Your Son, Your glorious Son, Lord Jesus, Prophet, Priest, and King for all eternity. I pray that quickly would be His return, but again not my will but Yours oh Holy Father.)

Give us this day, our daily bread;
(Lord I praise you for another day for every day, every hour, every minute is a gift from You, every beat of my heart is a gift from You. Lord I thank You for all you have given me and I know You will continue to provide for me as long as I trust in You.)

Forgive us our debt as we also have forgiven our debtors.
(Lord I am truly repentant and grieve and morn over my sin, I may ask that you please forgive me; “list your sins here”. Lord I hold nothing against those who have wronged me and I pray that Your grace abound in them.)

And lead us not into temptation but deliver us from evil.
(My Lord my God my King, I pray that I would be free from temptation, but if it be Your will, I pray that Your grace abound in me that I may not sin. Lord, Lord I pray that You protect me and my family from the wiles of the devil and all his demons and the evils on this earth.)

For Yours is the Kingdom Power and Glory now and forever amen.
(Well you get the idea…)

Prayer is meant to glorify God in accordance to His will. I don’t believe, again as “Many” would pray; “To Have Your Best Life Now”, and pray that God grace your checkbook, and your bank account, and to give you grace for that next big job promotion, or to make you thin and healthy, or grace you with the perfect spouse, and so on…

Consider what Jesus said to an eager disciple who thought he was going to follow Jesus right into the Kingdom of God in Luke 9 57;

58 And Jesus said to him, “The foxes have holes and the birds of the air have nests, but the Son of Man has nowhere to lay His head.”

I don’t find anywhere in the Bible where Jesus make a promise of; Health, Wealth, and Prosperity if you agree to “Follow Him”. Jesus had nothing and was tortured to death, His Apostles had nothing and were tortured to death, His disciples through the ages had nothing and, well you get the picture…

Now this is not for everyone but my child was sick at one time and I wanted so much to pray for her but I did not, I would not. How could I ask God for something I didn’t know to be His will? Why would I take the chance of praying against Gods will. These are the tests and the trials of our faith, do we pass or fail? God knows the desires of our heart, He know what we want before we even ask, so I just pray what I know to be His will and that is His Glory and the Glory of His Son Lord Jesus Christ.

To each his own but I believe this to be true. Again these are the tests and the trials of our faith, do we trust in Him and glorify Him, or do we waist words of prayer trying to fix things for ourselves. Myself I'd spend my time in prayer knowing He will hear every word.
Thanks Donato. I was following you until the second to the last paragraph. That's a bit difficult for me to stomach, but the rest is sound. I believe you can ask God for anything so long as you remind him that "Only if it is your will." I don't believe you shouldn't pray for anything, especially your children. My prayers go a little like this, "Lord, please help me to get this job, but if it is not your will, please help me to overcome any emotional anguish I may get due to loosing an opportunity I think I missed."
My apologies if I offended anyone. I've prayed the prayers of "If it be Your will" but for me it was just my will in disguise, what a hypocrite and a liar I was before a Holy God. I can’t do it anymore, it is impossible for me to be objective on the things that I believe benefit me.

I love my family more than anything on this earth and that is still not as much as God loves them and I trust in Him. So in my prayers I pray for others as long as I can remain objective and in accordance to His Word and I pray to glorify God, I pray for nothing that benifits me.

There are many good example in the scriptures but I believe one of the best to be Jonah’s Prayer in Jonah 2. Jonah in the belly of the great fish, dark and drowning. I could only imagine what I would have prayed in that instance. However Jonah being a man of God prayed in Jonah 2 7;

7“While I was fainting away,
I remembered the Lord,
And my prayer came to You,
Into Your holy temple.

9 But I will sacrifice to You
With the voice of thanksgiving.
That which I have vowed I will pay.
Salvation is from the Lord.”

Jonah disregarded his own life and his own situation and glorified God. This is an example recorded for all time and eternity, for all who believe to see, how a man/woman of God is to pray.

I believe it to be an evolutionary process as one empties of him/herself of the concerns of this world and fills him/herself with the Lord, one can’t help to in all things glorify God, and then the cares and concerns of this world just become a distant shadow. "Salvation is from the Lord."