Very worried

Dec 1, 2017
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hello everyone. I have a serious concern with my spiritual state. I first started seriously being exposed to god at age 20 and on and off I met many strangers telling me about Christ and while intrigued by scripture never truly seriously committed to it. I would come to to bible studies and church socials in my mid 20’s but I think I was just going through the motions. Most of this time behind the scenes I was abusing drugs and engaging in occultism. After a close call with death last year I didn’t know where to go but church and get true peace in my life. That was this past May of 2017. I have learned so much in these past 6 months then I have ever learned in my whole life about the Christian life. Right before my baptism I read so much about false conversion and falling away that I became paranoid about how easily that could be me. I’ve felt a lot of fear during these past 6 months and I also noticed that praise and worship which I also recently started to learn about because I’m. It experienced with it and I get the awkward sense of uncomfort by it which makes me feel bad. I’m not sure if it’s my pride. These feelings really scare me and lead me into despair, especially feelings like I can’t or don’t want to continue in this life. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. Can anyone out there give me some advice or have a understanding of what I’m going through ?
 
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Cturtle

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Welcome to cfs. We are so glad that you are here, and could join our family.

I know I put this on your profile... but for protocol, I'm adding it here also. :) lol

As we ask of all new memers,
Please look over the Following and Familiarize yourself with them, this will help you to have a safe and joyful time here in the forum.

Again this is just forum procedure and nothing else.

1. Forum Policies and Procedures
2. Topics which May Not Be Discussed in the open forum.

If you have any questions or issues with the forum, please feel free to contact a moderator or helper and we will do what we can to help.

Again Welcome to cfs
Blessings
 

AtomicSnowflake

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In my opinion, it's the enemy attacking you because you've turned to God. He's trying to play on any weakness he can find... the easy targets. Don't be fooled by this. It lets you know you're on the right path... (any time you make spiritual progress, you will be tempted, tested, and tried.) However, instead of allowing these different negative feelings continue, grow, and multiply... you need to remind yourself that it's only deception from Satan.
Pray about it fully and completely... and also ask God to lead you to scriptures that can strengthen, encourage, and help you. Study His word and how it is personal to you.
When your mind begins to think any negative thought, treat this as a sort of "bad habit"... tell Satan to go away, ask God to clear away these bad thoughts, and to help you focus on all good things.
There are many wonderful scriptures that you can find that will be helpful.. take some time to search out some that "speak to you".
God bless.

Oh... and also WELCOME!!!
 

Cturtle

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hello everyone. I have a serious concern with my spiritual state. I first started seriously being exposed to god at age 20 and on and off I met many strangers telling me about Christ and while intrigued by scripture never truly seriously committed to it. I would come to to bible studies and church socials in my mid 20’s but I think I was just going through the motions. Most of this time behind the scenes I was abusing drugs and engaging in occultism. After a close call with death last year I didn’t know where to go but church and get true peace in my life. That was this past May of 2017. I have learned so much in these past 6 months then I have ever learned in my whole life about the Christian life. Right before my baptism I read so much about false conversion and falling away that I became paranoid about how easily that could be me. I’ve felt a lot of fear during these past 6 months and I also noticed that praise and worship which I also recently started to learn about because I’m. It experienced with it and I get the awkward sense of uncomfort by it which makes me feel bad. I’m not sure if it’s my pride. These feelings really scare me and lead me into despair, especially feelings like I can’t or don’t want to continue in this life. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. Can anyone out there give me some advice or have a understanding of what I’m going through ?
Loosing your salvation is very difficult. So don't let the enemy harass you with it. The Father loves you and will go to great lengths to keep you in the palm of His hand. Think of it this way... the Father has been pursuing you for a long time, and He has put His Spirit within you to keep communicating with you and to steer you in the right direction to keep you in communion with himself.

A couple of verses to think and meditate on....
Philippians 2:13 (NLT)
13 For God is working in you, giving you the desire and the power to do what pleases him.

1 John 1:9 (NLT)
9 But if we confess our sins to him, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all wickedness.

John 15:4 (NLT)
4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. For a branch cannot produce fruit if it is severed from the vine, and you cannot be fruitful unless you remain in me.

Rom 8:37 — Rom 8:39 (NLT)
37 No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
38 And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. 39 No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.

Rest assured that you are in Christ as long as you have accepted Him as your Lord and Savior. Now your being attacked because the enemy looks at you as a traitor (which he never cared about you anyway) and is trying to convince you that all you decided was not real or didn't work, so that He can keep you trapped in the prison he has had you in for 30 years.

In this instance, you just have to renew your mind with the Fathers love for you.. and choose to believe that you truly are saved, delivered and washed clean by the precious blood of the lamb.

Now you have joined the family of faith, and your job is to learn all you can about Him (Jesus) and what your authority and inheritance in Christ really is. The devil is powerless and will try to scare you into thinking that he has power over you, when he really does not. He needs your permission for him to do anything in your life.

Lots of loving New friends here to fellowship with and be encouraged by. We will keep you in our prayers.

Blessings of love and grace and peace be yours in abundance!
 

Fish Catcher Jim

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Greetings and Welcome to cfs Coveclemence .

A few things to chew on bro.

To lose ones salvation is pretty much the same as throwing it away or totally walking away from God.

So here is the deal.
The devil our enemy is a sore looser.
So to think he is just going to give up on you then you would really be thinking wrong.

Look at Scripture.
2 Corinthians 10 : 5
Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

Let's look at the word here imaginations
It's the same as THOUGHTS

Ephesians 6 : 16
Above all, taking the shield of faith, wherewith ye shall be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked.

Let's look at the word here fiery darts.
It's the same as . THOUGHTS.

So as we can clearly see the devil uses thoughts to attack us.

We can not stop these thoughts from coming but we can stop them from roosting or taking root in our thinking or being.

To give life to a thought is believing it and speaking it. Scripture also tells us what a man thinks in his heart then he is.

So we need to take Each and Every Thought captive and weigh it up against God's Word. Like a bouncer for your mind.

This means we have to feed ourselves with God's word continually or we will not be able to know when the thought is as a fiery dart.
These thoughts are so well organized against each individual that they can be very difficult to catch if one is not fully feeding on God's Word.

Bottom line.
1 John 1:9 and Mark 11:25

1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.

Mark 11:25
And when ye stand praying, forgive, if ye have ought against any: that your Father also which is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.

If you are FAITHFUL with repenting then learn to ACT Like It. Act like you were forgiven.

Cast down those false thoughts and act on God's Word.

This is all a part of fighting the good fight of faith in which your enemy the devil wants you to fail at.

Fight your fight and stand your ground.
Don't dwell on those lies from our enemy.

Blessings
FCJ
 
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hello everyone. I have a serious concern with my spiritual state. I first started seriously being exposed to god at age 20 and on and off I met many strangers telling me about Christ and while intrigued by scripture never truly seriously committed to it. I would come to to bible studies and church socials in my mid 20’s but I think I was just going through the motions. Most of this time behind the scenes I was abusing drugs and engaging in occultism. After a close call with death last year I didn’t know where to go but church and get true peace in my life. That was this past May of 2017. I have learned so much in these past 6 months then I have ever learned in my whole life about the Christian life. Right before my baptism I read so much about false conversion and falling away that I became paranoid about how easily that could be me. I’ve felt a lot of fear during these past 6 months and I also noticed that praise and worship which I also recently started to learn about because I’m. It experienced with it and I get the awkward sense of uncomfort by it which makes me feel bad. I’m not sure if it’s my pride. These feelings really scare me and lead me into despair, especially feelings like I can’t or don’t want to continue in this life. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. Can anyone out there give me some advice or have a understanding of what I’m going through ?
abs2welcome.png

About the issue, think about this. There is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING we can do to get to heaven. It's a gift.

Ephesians 2:8 (KJV)
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:​

But, accepting that gift isn't repeating a prayer, but real acceptance is to change your mind about God. We have the Greek mentality that God is like Zeus ready and willing to rain down lightning for those that misbehave. That is so very far from the truth. God is Love and He sent His Son to die for us. You know this. So also understand this:

Romans 8:31-32 (KJV)
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?​

Finally, when you do receive the gift of God you have to guard it, and you do that with your mind, just as Paul lamented your issue:

Romans 7:24-25 (KJV)
O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.​

How do we serve God with our mind?

2 Corinthians 10:4-6 (KJV)

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; ) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.​

Strongholds are those beliefs we've learned through experiences without God in this world, through our teachers, parents and friends. They are a false belief system we ALL have. Thoughts lead to sin, doubt and freedom from them. The definition of sin is "to miss the mark" and how does that happen? We don't set our sights on the target. A misaligned rifle with never hit the mark. And I love the definition of doubt, it's "torn between two opinions". The opinions we wrestle with are from the fallen world and their beliefs, from our own misunderstood experiences, the whispers from the devil, and the sin within us. All these against the simple word of God.

You need to focus every moment of every day on Christ and what He'd for for us.

Philippians 4:7-9 (KJV)

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.​

2 Corinthians 10:7 (ESV)
Look at what is before your eyes. If anyone is confident that he is Christ's, let him remind himself that just as he is Christ's, so also are we.​

I like this version of this verse better. ALL these verses show that the spiritual battle is within our two ears. Our brain is the choice maker. And just as Moses said in Deut 30:19, choose life and live.

100% of humans go through this, and it can seem maddening, but that's where the peace of Jesus steps in. Hang in there and surrender it all to God as a living sacrifice to Him. Let Him deal with those things and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in each and every step you take in life:

Psalms 37:23 (KJV)
The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.​

and finally:

Proverbs 3:5-8 (KJV)
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.​

1 Thessalonians 5:17 (KJV)
Pray without ceasing.​

Colossians 3:15-17 (KJV)
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.​

Ephesians 5:19-21 (KJV)
Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.​
 
Dec 1, 2017
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Houston, TX
View attachment 3357

About the issue, think about this. There is NOTHING NOTHING NOTHING we can do to get to heaven. It's a gift.

Ephesians 2:8 (KJV)
For by grace are ye saved through faith; and that not of yourselves: it is the gift of God:​

But, accepting that gift isn't repeating a prayer, but real acceptance is to change your mind about God. We have the Greek mentality that God is like Zeus ready and willing to rain down lightning for those that misbehave. That is so very far from the truth. God is Love and He sent His Son to die for us. You know this. So also understand this:

Romans 8:31-32 (KJV)
What shall we then say to these things? If God be for us, who can be against us?He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?​

Finally, when you do receive the gift of God you have to guard it, and you do that with your mind, just as Paul lamented your issue:

Romans 7:24-25 (KJV)
O wretched man that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death? I thank God through Jesus Christ our Lord. So then with the mind I myself serve the law of God; but with the flesh the law of sin.​

How do we serve God with our mind?

2 Corinthians 10:4-6 (KJV)

(For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strong holds; ) Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ; And having in a readiness to revenge all disobedience, when your obedience is fulfilled.​

Strongholds are those beliefs we've learned through experiences without God in this world, through our teachers, parents and friends. They are a false belief system we ALL have. Thoughts lead to sin, doubt and freedom from them. The definition of sin is "to miss the mark" and how does that happen? We don't set our sights on the target. A misaligned rifle with never hit the mark. And I love the definition of doubt, it's "torn between two opinions". The opinions we wrestle with are from the fallen world and their beliefs, from our own misunderstood experiences, the whispers from the devil, and the sin within us. All these against the simple word of God.

You need to focus every moment of every day on Christ and what He'd for for us.

Philippians 4:7-9 (KJV)

And the peace of God, which passeth all understanding, shall keep your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.Those things, which ye have both learned, and received, and heard, and seen in me, do: and the God of peace shall be with you.​

2 Corinthians 10:7 (ESV)
Look at what is before your eyes. If anyone is confident that he is Christ's, let him remind himself that just as he is Christ's, so also are we.​

I like this version of this verse better. ALL these verses show that the spiritual battle is within our two ears. Our brain is the choice maker. And just as Moses said in Deut 30:19, choose life and live.

100% of humans go through this, and it can seem maddening, but that's where the peace of Jesus steps in. Hang in there and surrender it all to God as a living sacrifice to Him. Let Him deal with those things and allow the Holy Spirit to guide you in each and every step you take in life:

Psalms 37:23 (KJV)
The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.​

and finally:

Proverbs 3:5-8 (KJV)
Trust in the LORD with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding.In all thy ways acknowledge him, and he shall direct thy paths.Be not wise in thine own eyes: fear the LORD, and depart from evil.It shall be health to thy navel, and marrow to thy bones.​

1 Thessalonians 5:17 (KJV)
Pray without ceasing.​

Colossians 3:15-17 (KJV)
And let the peace of God rule in your hearts, to the which also ye are called in one body; and be ye thankful.Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly in all wisdom; teaching and admonishing one another in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing with grace in your hearts to the Lord.And whatsoever ye do in word or deed, do all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God and the Father by him.​

Ephesians 5:19-21 (KJV)
Speaking to yourselves in psalms and hymns and spiritual songs, singing and making melody in your heart to the Lord;Giving thanks always for all things unto God and the Father in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ;Submitting yourselves one to another in the fear of God.​
 
Dec 1, 2017
34
60
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Houston, TX
Thanks everyone, but I don’t understand conviction. I’ve read different things about conviction about sin. I haven’t experienced a brokenness over my sin by weeping and crying. Is that supposed to happen first before salvation? I confessed sin and hidden faults but I didn’t feel that feeling first.
 

Cturtle

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Thanks everyone, but I don’t understand conviction. I’ve read different things about conviction about sin. I haven’t experienced a brokenness over my sin by weeping and crying. Is that supposed to happen first before salvation? I confessed sin and hidden faults but I didn’t feel that feeling first.
Conviction is the Holy Spirit letting you know peacefully that you have a sin that needs repenting of. There does not have to be necessarily a crying and weeping type of brokenness with repentance. Those are fleshly reactions that don't have to be there. For you have already done the hard part, which is repenting or turning away from your sin, and allowing The Savior to wash you clean of it by His Blood. Now all you have to do is follow after and make a quality decision to allow your life to conform to what the Bible says.

There is another thing that some people have trouble with... and that is condemnation. Which is of the enemy. It's a constant harassment in your mind... to remind you of all the bad things you have done. And if that happens, then as you remind yourself of 1 John 1:9... and apply that to yourself... you can be free of the harassment. But you also have to choose to not allow yourself to think about the thoughts that come to your mind about the past, and your past sins. Quote the Word instead.. it will be of a great help to you

Hope this helps...
Blessings
 
Dec 1, 2017
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Conviction is the Holy Spirit letting you know peacefully that you have a sin that needs repenting of. There does not have to be necessarily a crying and weeping type of brokenness with repentance. Those are fleshly reactions that don't have to be there. For you have already done the hard part, which is repenting or turning away from your sin, and allowing The Savior to wash you clean of it by His Blood. Now all you have to do is following after and make a quality decision to allow your life to conform to what the Bible says.

There is another thing that some people have trouble with... nd that is condemnation. Which is of the enemy. It's a constant harassment in your mind... to remind you of all the bad things you have done. And if that happens, then as you remind yourself of 1 John 1:9... and apply that to yourself... you can be free of the harassment. But you also have to choose to not allow yourself to think about the thoughts that come to your mind about the past, and your past sins.

Hope this helps...
Blessings
Thanks. But that’s the same for the initial response to salvation? But I’m also scared because I have lived the way I wanted to for 31 years and when I realize more of this walk I feel like I don’t want to do this because it’s so outside of my comfort zone. Do those feeling myself indicAte my true nature ?
 
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Cturtle

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Thanks. But that’s the same for the initial response to salvation? But I’m also scared because I have lived the way I wanted to for 31 years and when I realize more of this walk I feel like I don’t want to do this because it’s so outside of my comfort zone. Do those feeling myself indicAte my true nature ?
The Holy Spirit is the one who called you to salvation. And it is as simple as just confessing your sins with a truly repentant heart. And asking Jesus to cleanse you of sin and be your payment of reconciation to the Father.

Your flesh, and soul have done it's own thing for 31 years. So there is going to be some resistence, because it still wants to do its own thing. It's the sin nature that is at work within us all that is what we need to train to do what Father wants done.

According to 2 Corinthians 5:17 (NLT)
17 This means that anyone who belongs to Christ has become a new person. The old life is gone; a new life has begun!

Your spirit nature has been changed. Now its just a matter of allowing the Living Word to change your desires. Repentance and reading the Bible are good for helping you do that. For repentance breaks the ties to the sin, that we have submitted to. And reading helps your mind know what God thinks, and once you know how much your loved... you won't want to do anything but please Father in your actions.

The best thing is to first of all stop the fear. Make a choice to refuse to fear, but to believe that Jesus truly loves you, and is not going to let you go. Nor does He hold any of your past against you... it's all wiped clean like a chalkboard that has been erased with a clean eraser.

Then begin to be thankful for everything that Christ has done for you. And read your Bible meditating upon love and peace and joy and whatever stands out to you. Start in the new testament.

It has taken you 31 years to get where you are... gwtting out will not be an overnight thing, because training the flesh is sometimes difficult at first... even for those of us who have been saved for a long time. It's like peeling an onion... the further (longer) you walk with Christ... the deeper He gets in and brings up deeper seated strongholds and ways we have reacted or acted.. to get us to change them. The wonderful part is that we never have to do things alone. He is right there giving us the power to do what He wants us to do. We just have to take the first step of making the choice.
 
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No its your flesh. It wants to do what it wants to do. You need to decide which one you wish to engage or run with.
Your ways which is the flesh or God's way.

The flesh is human nature .
Blessings
FCJ
Thank you. This is such a different way of life then before . I didn’t realize how much of a self worshipping nature I really had until I learned more about the lord and submission. I was embarrassed to express this here. I wish the feelings of quitting would just vanish from my being .
 
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Cturtle

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Thank you. This is such a different way of life then before . I didn’t realize how much of a self worshipping nature I really had until I learned more about the lord and submission. I was embarrassed to express this here. I wish the feelings of quitting would just vanish from my being .
Don't be embrrassed... we have all been there at one time or another.
 
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Cturtle

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As I was listening to my pastor preach... Father reminded me of a parable that if you feel up to it, you could read. It's Matthew 20:1-15. Picture Father as the land owner and we are one of the workers. And whether we come to know Him early or late... we all get the gift of eternal life.

Really?

oh wow.

thank you. I really to feel the love and peace not fear all the time.
Even the Apostle Paul, who wrote most of the new testament and those he was traveling with .... felt like giving up

2 Corinthians 1:8 (KJV)
8 For we would not, brethren, have you ignorant of our trouble which came to us in Asia, that we were pressed out of measure, above strength, insomuch that we despaired even of life:

Sometimes the pressure from the enemy is so strong... that walking out God's ways has to be a moment by moment decision. Because it's all I can do to keep my head above water. And the flesh desires to have its own way.

Keep seeking the Father... He will surround you with peace and loving arms
 

Cturtle

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Something to think about... the devil has no power over you or any of us as believers, because Jesus took all his power away.

Colossians 2:15... In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross

And set us free from all fear....

Since, therefore, [these His] children share in flesh and blood [in the physical nature of human beings], He [Himself] in a similar manner partook of the same [nature], that by [going through] death He might bring to nought and make of no effect him who had the power of death–that is, the devil– And also that He might deliver and completely set free all those who through the [haunting] fear of death were held in bondage throughout the whole course of their lives.
Hebrews 2:14‭-‬15 AMPC
https://bible.com/bible/8/heb.2.14-15.AMPC

We just have to believe it and receive it just like we would a million dollar check that someone deposited in our bank account.
 
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Something to think about... the devil has no power over you or any of us as believers, because Jesus took all his power away.

Colossians 2:15... In this way, he disarmed the spiritual rulers and authorities. He shamed them publicly by his victory over them on the cross

And set us free from all fear....

Since, therefore, [these His] children share in flesh and blood [in the physical nature of human beings], He [Himself] in a similar manner partook of the same [nature], that by [going through] death He might bring to nought and make of no effect him who had the power of death–that is, the devil– And also that He might deliver and completely set free all those who through the [haunting] fear of death were held in bondage throughout the whole course of their lives.
Hebrews 2:14‭-‬15 AMPC
https://bible.com/bible/8/heb.2.14-15.AMPC

We just have to believe it and receive it just like we would a million dollar check that someone deposited in our bank account.
Thank you for your encouragement. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Never in my life have I been so worried about my soul.
 

Cturtle

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Thank you for your encouragement. This is the hardest thing I’ve ever done in my life. Never in my life have I been so worried about my soul.
Your soul consists of your mind will and emotions. You are a spirit first and foremost, with a physical body and a soul. If your body dies... now that you have accepted Jesus as Lord, your spirit will go to heaven to be with Jesus.

While here on earth... it is your responsibility to renew your mind with the Word of God (Romans 12:2) and allow the Word you put into your mouth, heart (inner man), eyes and ears to transform you. It's your responsibility to train the mind to meditate, retain or think about on purpose what the Word (Bible) says.
And then to make the decision to put what you read and hear into action... for faith with no corresponding action is dead. (James 2:14).

So stop worrying and start doing... replace your worry with reading the Word.
 
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Houston, TX
Your soul consists of your mind will and emotions. You are a spirit first and foremost, with a physical body and a soul. If your body dies... now that you have accepted Jesus as Lord, your spirit will go to heaven to be with Jesus.

While here on earth... it is your responsibility to renew your mind with the Word of God (Romans 12:2) and allow the Word you put into your mouth, heart (inner man), eyes and ears to transform you. It's your responsibility to train the mind to meditate, retain or think about on purpose what the Word (Bible) says.
And then to make the decision to put what you read and hear into action... for faith with no corresponding action is dead. (James 2:14).

So stop worrying and start doing... replace your worry with reading the Word.
Well that’s my I’ve been scared of the assurance of my salvation. I don’t understand if Christ is in me , why I’m able to feel evil thoughts of not wanting this or giving up?I’ve prayed numerous times to make sure he’s really in me. I know it’s not necessary to ask him for his spirit more than once.