hello everyone. I have a serious concern with my spiritual state. I first started seriously being exposed to god at age 20 and on and off I met many strangers telling me about Christ and while intrigued by scripture never truly seriously committed to it. I would come to to bible studies and church socials in my mid 20’s but I think I was just going through the motions. Most of this time behind the scenes I was abusing drugs and engaging in occultism. After a close call with death last year I didn’t know where to go but church and get true peace in my life. That was this past May of 2017. I have learned so much in these past 6 months then I have ever learned in my whole life about the Christian life. Right before my baptism I read so much about false conversion and falling away that I became paranoid about how easily that could be me. I’ve felt a lot of fear during these past 6 months and I also noticed that praise and worship which I also recently started to learn about because I’m. It experienced with it and I get the awkward sense of uncomfort by it which makes me feel bad. I’m not sure if it’s my pride. These feelings really scare me and lead me into despair, especially feelings like I can’t or don’t want to continue in this life. I feel so guilty for feeling this way. Can anyone out there give me some advice or have a understanding of what I’m going through ?