Well that’s my I’ve been scared of the assurance of my salvation. I don’t understand if Christ is in me , why I’m able to feel evil thoughts of not wanting this or giving up?I’ve prayed numerous times to make sure he’s really in me. I know it’s not necessary to ask him for his spirit more than once.
When we are all first born again, our spirits are recreated. Made brand new by creation power, like in the garden of Eden. But that is where the total reconstruction has stopped, until we make the choice to erase the old ways and thoughts with The Word ... and the Truth of the Word takes the place of the old IF we make the choice to keep feeding it into our minds. It's not automatic and there are many things or behaviors that work like bleach and can take away what we have put in. Ie.. unforgiveness and bitterness and not walking in love or filling our minds with the trash/ways on tv instead of the Word.
Think of it this way... each Word of the Living Word we plant into our minds and hearts (inner man) will grow tall and strong as we continue to water the seeds/plants with the same Word that we have planted. Meaning reading the Bible over and over a lot.
The devil has assigned to each person an imp that will constantly whisper evil thoughts into our ear if we allow them to. Our job is to refuse to think the evil thoughts. For the biggest spiritual battle every person will face is in their mind.
God gave us the tools to get rid of the evil thoughts. The Holy Spirit spoke through the Apostle Paul and told us to cast down every imagination and everything that exalts itself against the knowledge of God. Taking into captivity every thought (refuse to think them) and make them obedient to Christ.
This means when those evil thoughts are bombarding our mind... it's our job to say no I'm not going to think that. In the past 2 days I have been quoting 2 Corinthians 10:5....
2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV)
5 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;
Because I made the mistake of trying to combat those ugly thoughts on my own. After quoting that verse out loud the voices have quieted. They have no choice but to bow their knee to the Power of the Word of God.
Now the devil is persistent, and will keep trying to get you to think evil thoughts... but as you quote the Word of God, instead of allowing those thoughts to stay in your mind, you will notice that they have gone.
And as you continue to fill your mind with The Words of the Bible... you will notice the change. But it does take work, and it takes persistence. It takes choosing The Words and ways of the Bible over what your mind or body desires. For we have to override what we have allowed in the past.
In your situation and life... you have allowed the enemy to whisper a lot of ungodly things into your mind for so long... it's very out of control (don't be upset/embarrassed.. for every person has done this in their life for certain periods of time.. some for all of their lives because they never choose to make Jesus their Lord. (Lord is quite different from Savior)
Up until maybe 2 years ago... did I finally understand that I needed to put this into practice. And just in the past 6 months or so, I've learned to make it an every day, every moment of every day, every thought practice. And still I get lazy or am learning more of the ungodly thoughts that I have held onto for 46 years... and am having to ...with the Lord's help... kick them out of my thinking.
But if I had not taken the first step... I would still be right where you are today. We have to start off small. Just having the knowledge of what is happening, and who is behind it... helps. But I still have to refuse to think the evil thoughts or allow the evil images that the enemy is trying to put into my mind.
Knowing and realizing that every Word I speak is a container... full of power to produce whatever I say, is also a huge breakthrough. But even now I'm not perfect in my words and make mistakes... but the more I put this all into practice... the easier it gets to get my thoughts and words to only be what God has already said.