Walking the Fine Line

[Nanon]

I present the hypothetical situation in light of today's attitude of 'tolerance'...
and the fine line between loving the sinner and hating the sin. The relationship
that began as adultery was never repented of and ended a legitimate marriage.
The person being asked to attend the ceremony is the believer (whose daughter
is the 'bride-to-be').

Do you feel the believer is endorsing the sinful relationship by attending? Or,
do you feel attending shows love to the daughter, in hopes she will sense this
and repent as the Holy Spirit continues His work of conviction?

If you can provide scripture for your reasoning, that would be great. It's a
sad thing to see that no longer is it enough to give people their right to make
choices, they also want others to join in and 'validate' their sin. I appreciate
the responses.

 

[dan in the lion's den]

The reason I say yes is because its an offspring. If it were anyone else I would say no. In the case of the ofspring...let love rule over judgement. I say this because I used judgement with my offspring as a rule. That was a mistake.

 

[Ravindran]

I present the hypothetical situation in light of today's attitude of 'tolerance'...
and the fine line between loving the sinner and hating the sin. The relationship
that began as adultery was never repented of and ended a legitimate marriage.
The person being asked to attend the ceremony is the believer (whose daughter
is the 'bride-to-be').

Do you feel the believer is endorsing the sinful relationship by attending? Or,
do you feel attending shows love to the daughter, in hopes she will sense this
and repent as the Holy Spirit continues His work of conviction?

If you can provide scripture for your reasoning, that would be great. It's a
sad thing to see that no longer is it enough to give people their right to make
choices, they also want others to join in and 'validate' their sin. I appreciate
the responses.

If daughter is bride-to-be, then I think the believer should attend.. It is absolutely possible to make it clear to the daughter that the believer is being there only because it is their daughter and not because they are approving the sin itself.. It is possible to hate the sinful act and love the person.. Especially our own offsprings.. We don't have to worry about what the outside world is thinking.. Because we are dealing with own blood..

 

[Major]

I present the hypothetical situation in light of today's attitude of 'tolerance'...
and the fine line between loving the sinner and hating the sin. The relationship
that began as adultery was never repented of and ended a legitimate marriage.
The person being asked to attend the ceremony is the believer (whose daughter
is the 'bride-to-be').

Do you feel the believer is endorsing the sinful relationship by attending? Or,
do you feel attending shows love to the daughter, in hopes she will sense this
and repent as the Holy Spirit continues His work of conviction?

If you can provide scripture for your reasoning, that would be great. It's a
sad thing to see that no longer is it enough to give people their right to make
choices, they also want others to join in and 'validate' their sin. I appreciate
the responses.

Allow me to ask you a question? Do YOU believe that the act of adultery was wicked and or evil? Forgiveness is not the question here since there has been to confession

Once you settle that then consider these verses.

1 Peter 3:12......
"For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and His ears are open unto their prayers; BUT the face of the Lord is against them that do evil".

1 Thess. 5:22........
"Abstain from all appearance of evil".

Proverbs 24:12...........
"If thou sayest, Behold....we knew it not, doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it?
And he that keepeth thy soul, doth not he know it? And shall not he render to every man according to his works"?

 

[Lanolin]

Thats a tough one, as I havent been in that situation I dont know. I think both options are valid but the second one showing love in hopes they repent maybe is more you want to reconcile with the daughter, but the first seems like you disowning her...

Also what message is it sending to your son in law...is he part of the family or not. Since you are giving your daughter away (again) does that mean you are givng your blessing? Also in the vows, do they not say if anyone opposes the marriage to say now or forever hold their peace?

If someone gets married I think techinically they are being given away from their family to start their own. So if you the parents of the daughter...you have to let go and I suppose it is up to her to be part of her new husbands family. You may or may not be willing to be there for her if things go wrong, but it is her choice. You need to talk to her before she gets married to make it clear I suppose.

If shes unbeleiving still pray for her anyway and attend, I know believers who do this, and maybe they were fornicating before marriage, but dont think I know any who have done it for a second marriage that was adulterous. I also know unbelieving parents who attend their believing offsprings marriages.

 

[Nanon]

Dan ITLD and Ravindran... that the bride-to-be is a daughter is what
makes the issue complicated. The parent wouldn't want to alienate
her, yet this particular 'relationship' has eternal consequences.

 

[Nanon]

Allow me to ask you a question? Do YOU believe that the act of adultery was wicked and or evil? Forgiveness is not the question here since there has been to confession

Once you settle that then consider these verses.

1 Peter 3:12......
"For the eyes of the Lord are over the righteous, and His ears are open unto their prayers; BUT the face of the Lord is against them that do evil".

1 Thess. 5:22........
"Abstain from all appearance of evil".

Proverbs 24:12...........
"If thou sayest, Behold....we knew it not, doth not he that pondereth the heart consider it?
And he that keepeth thy soul, doth not he know it? And shall not he render to every man according to his works"?

The act of adultery IS sinful ... and a relationship began under that
situation makes the sin continual, IMO. Also, the fact that no confession
of this sin has occurred, really makes attending the wedding seem to
validate the sin.

 

[Nanon]

Since you are giving your daughter away (again) does that mean you are givng your blessing? Also in the vows, do they not say if anyone opposes the marriage to say now or forever hold their peace?

If someone gets married I think techinically they are being given away from their family to start their own.

The points here are good to bring up, Lanolin. Can the daughter be 'given away'
a second time? I'm not sure she can (in God's eyes). She would have to 'give
herself away'.

 

[Juk]

I am not an expert, and I am not too knowledgeable on things like this, but I would urge the girl to repent and if she doesn't, I would not attend. It's just like how I would never attend a homosexual "wedding". It does seem to validate the sin.

 

[dan in the lion's den]

The relationship between parent and offspring is complicated. I will tell you this, if you outwardly show conditional love toward your offspring, be prepared to be shown conditional love back in your old age.

 

[Euphemia]

My husband and I refused to attend his brother's wedding, where he had divorced his first wife, divorced his second, and married another. We could not witness a person making a mockery of the most intimate of human relationships. We loved his brother dearly, but his frivolity concerning marriage was not something we could sanction, or allow our three young daughters to be influenced by.

 

[dan in the lion's den]

My husband and I refused to attend his brother's wedding, where he had divorced his first wife, divorced his second, and married another. We could not witness a person making a mockery of the most intimate of human relationships. We loved his brother dearly, but his frivolity concerning marriage was not something we could sanction, or allow our three young daughters to be influenced by.

I agree and would've done likewise, but what if it were your offspring?

 

[Euphemia]

I agree and would've done likewise, but what if it were your offspring?

I've been thinking about that, and two of my daughters married men who are not believers, although there was no adultery, but the disappointment was almost palpable for me. I could not refuse to attend their weddings, held in churches so opposed to our faith, which was a constant lump in my throat, but no one knew. I wanted to support them because I loved them and could not veto their choices. Their lives were young yet, and God could do anything, especially with the two young grooms now being hooked up to a born again family!

If there was open adultery in any of their lives, I would most definitely say something, hoping that the Lord would use me to help bring about godly sorrow. Failing that, I really think I would decline witnessing the nuptials. I draw the line at open immorality in my family line. I am sure there would be a breech in the relationship, but would hope that God would do a work to oil it and bring it back.

 

[CCW95A]

I present the hypothetical situation in light of today's attitude of 'tolerance'...
and the fine line between loving the sinner and hating the sin. The relationship
that began as adultery was never repented of and ended a legitimate marriage.
The person being asked to attend the ceremony is the believer (whose daughter
is the 'bride-to-be').

Do you feel the believer is endorsing the sinful relationship by attending? Or,
do you feel attending shows love to the daughter, in hopes she will sense this
and repent as the Holy Spirit continues His work of conviction?

If you can provide scripture for your reasoning, that would be great. It's a
sad thing to see that no longer is it enough to give people their right to make
choices, they also want others to join in and 'validate' their sin. I appreciate
the responses.

Paul tells Timothy to not lat hands on those whose are not right with God, for in doing so he is actually becoming a partaker of his sins.

1Tim 5:22.. Do not be hasty in the laying on of hands, nor take part in the sins of others; keep yourself pure.

Eph 5:5 For you may be sure of this, that everyone who is sexually immoral or impure, or who is covetous (that is, an idolater), has no inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God.
Eph 5:6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience.
Eph 5:7 Therefore do not become partners with them;

 

[Fish Catcher Jim]

I present the hypothetical situation in light of today's attitude of 'tolerance'...
and the fine line between loving the sinner and hating the sin. The relationship
that began as adultery was never repented of and ended a legitimate marriage.
The person being asked to attend the ceremony is the believer (whose daughter
is the 'bride-to-be').

Do you feel the believer is endorsing the sinful relationship by attending? Or,
do you feel attending shows love to the daughter, in hopes she will sense this
and repent as the Holy Spirit continues His work of conviction?

If you can provide scripture for your reasoning, that would be great. It's a
sad thing to see that no longer is it enough to give people their right to make
choices, they also want others to join in and 'validate' their sin. I appreciate
the responses.

Unless you are the party in which took of the un-lawful relationship, How do you know for sure that they have not suaght God on this ?

I know of so many Christian couples in this day and age that started out that way. It bothers me but I am not the judge nor jury and if God forgives then who am I not to ?

 

[Nanon]

If there was open adultery in any of their lives, I would most definitely say something, hoping that the Lord would use me to help bring about godly sorrow. Failing that, I really think I would decline witnessing the nuptials. I draw the line at open immorality in my family line. I am sure there would be a breech in the relationship, but would hope that God would do a work to oil it and bring it back.

A breech in the relationship would be difficult, but Jesus stated that faith in
Him could potentially create 'enemies' in households (Matthew 10:34-37).

 

[Nanon]

Unless you are the party in which took of the un-lawful relationship, How do you know for sure that they have not suaght God on this ?
I know of so many Christian couples in this day and age that started out that way. It bothers me but I am not the judge nor jury and if God forgives then who am I not to ?

Not sure what you mean by 'sought God on this', Jim. Scripture is
clear on the sinfulness of adultery. And since repentance has not
occurred, I don't think God is 'winking' at this one. If
repentance should occur, it would take this couple out of their sin,
because they would 'change their mind' about it, I would think.

 

[Major]

The act of adultery IS sinful ... and a relationship began under that
situation makes the sin continual, IMO. Also, the fact that no confession
of this sin has occurred, really makes attending the wedding seem to
validate the sin.

Exactly my point ! It then becomes who one sees and understands how God look at our sin.

 

[Euphemia]

A breech in the relationship would be difficult, but Jesus stated that faith in
Him could potentially create 'enemies' in households (Matthew 10:34-37).

Amen! This is the case indeed in my family, and I can only trust God to honour His precious promises to me...so I wait.

 

[CCW95A]

More food for thought.....

1Co 5:9 I wrote a letter to you to tell you to stay away from people who commit sexual sins.
1Co 5:10 I didn't mean the people of this world who sin that way or who always want more and more. I didn't mean those who cheat or who worship statues of gods. In that case you would have to leave this world!
1Co 5:11 But here is what I am writing to you. You must stay away from anyone who claims to be a believer but who does those things. Stay away from anyone who commits sexual sins or who always wants more and more things. Stay away from a person who worships statues of gods or who tells lies about others. Stay away from anyone who gets drunk or who cheats. Don't even eat with a person like that. (NiRV)