Welcome Swest

C

Cturtle

Welcome swest to cfs!
Please say hello and tell others a little about yourself and let's get started with some good ol fellowship one with another.

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Again Welcome to cfs
Blessings
 
Thank you all for the welcome, I so appreciate it! I am leaving for work soon so short on time, but will say just a bit about myself. I am a 57 year old married woman. I am the Mother of a beautiful, smart and funny daughter, Whitney who passed away at 23 years old in 2013. She died from an accidental overdose. I tell this not for sympathy but to help explain who I am. I am step-mother to two sons and a daughter and step-grandmother to 6. I was raised in a Christian home but spent many wasted years away from God. I have been back with Jesus for a little over a year now and in many ways still feel as a new Christian. I attend a wonderful church, alone, ( prayers please) as my husband doesn't go. I have a great Pastor who has taught me so very much and leads me to pursue a closer relationship with God. I look forward to learning more and growing in Christ as I enjoy the fellowship this forum provides. I must be off to work now. I'm not allowed to be on my phone at work so will not be back on until later. Thanks again for the very nice welcome.
 
Thank you for sharing a little about yourself. First, I thank God that He bought you through when your daughter (Whitney) went to be with the Lord. I thank God that anger didn't fester inside of you. There is no greater pain than the loss of a child. And, I am speaking from experience. But God has been keeping me and comforting me. He will bring his children through whatever we go through. We only need give it to Him and trust. Thank you so much for sharing.
 
swest said:
Thank you all for the welcome, I so appreciate it! I am leaving for work soon so short on time, but will say just a bit about myself. I am a 57 year old married woman. I am the Mother of a beautiful, smart and funny daughter, Whitney who passed away at 23 years old in 2013. She died from an accidental overdose. I tell this not for sympathy but to help explain who I am. I am step-mother to two sons and a daughter and step-grandmother to 6. I was raised in a Christian home but spent many wasted years away from God. I have been back with Jesus for a little over a year now and in many ways still feel as a new Christian. I attend a wonderful church, alone, ( prayers please) as my husband doesn't go. I have a great Pastor who has taught me so very much and leads me to pursue a closer relationship with God. I look forward to learning more and growing in Christ as I enjoy the fellowship this forum provides. I must be off to work now. I'm not allowed to be on my phone at work so will not be back on until later. Thanks again for the very nice welcome.
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Really glad you can join us when your able. We have a lot of good people here to fellowship with and will keep you and your family lifted up in prayer. For God is an awesome God who will bless you and your relationship with His Son. He loves your family souch and as they see Him in you... They will follow suit. :)

Thank you for sharing a little about yourself. We surely are glad to meet you, and are all here to encourage you :)

Blessings
 
godbe4me said:
Thank you for sharing a little about yourself. First, I thank God that He bought you through when your daughter (Whitney) went to be with the Lord. I thank God that anger didn't fester inside of you. There is no greater pain than the loss of a child. And, I am speaking from experience. But God has been keeping me and comforting me. He will bring his children through whatever we go through. We only need give it to Him and trust. Thank you so much for sharing.
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It was actually five years after her death that I made it back to Jesus. I did go through a dark time of anger at God, at her dealer, her ex-boyfriend, her Dad and Grandmother....but mostly at myself. The last time I had prayed was about a week before her death. I begged God to help her and to help me. I told him the situation had to end. That I could stand no more. I remember having a heart stopping thought, "What if he takes her." I remember thinking I couldn't ever go back to God because I was guilty of leaving the church and taking her out when she was 7 years old. Thank God for drawing me back and I realized "Where can you go but to the Lord." Thank you for saying her name. I know that you know how much that means. I am sorry for your loss.
 
swest said:
It was actually five years after her death that I made it back to Jesus. I did go through a dark time of anger at God, at her dealer, her ex-boyfriend, her Dad and Grandmother....but mostly at myself. The last time I had prayed was about a week before her death. I begged God to help her and to help me. I told him the situation had to end. That I could stand no more. I remember having a heart stopping thought, "What if he takes her." I remember thinking I couldn't ever go back to God because I was guilty of leaving the church and taking her out when she was 7 years old. Thank God for drawing me back and I realized "Where can you go but to the Lord." Thank you for saying her name. I know that you know how much that means. I am sorry for your loss.
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Oh, being angry for a while is a normal emotion. I was angry too for a very long time. I had the feeling that God was going to take them home. I begged Him not to do it. I just couldn't imagine living without them. When it actually happened, I was going to commit suicide. That's how lost I felt and how much pain I was in. The devil was attacking me in every direction and feeding on my anger with God. I had a dream that I had died and when my spirit left my body, I went straight up past the earth's atmosphere and past the stars way up in outter space. A voice said, STOP!!! Do not come any further. The devil was behind me saying, keep going. I knew it was God and if I had of kept going, I would have died in my sleep. I will never forget that voice. He said, "what are you doing and where are you going?" I said, "I want to come home." That was all I got to say before He said, "Go back. It is not your time yet. You have things to do. Immediately, I woke up and that just made me so mad. I kept trying to figure out what do I need to do. Where do you want me to go. Hurry up and tell me so I can do it and go home to be with my children.

After some time, I gave it to God. I asked Him to forgive me for being angry with Him. I had to realize that God didn't cause it. It was the devil but God took them to a safe place where I will see them again. I guess my anger was that God could have stopped it. But I had to trust that God knows what He is doing. We don't always know why things happen or why God allows them. We are to trust that His way is the right way and we will know the answer one day. I know that I will see them again one day. I rather know that I will see them again than to know that I would never see them again. I had to realize that this earth is not our home and they went home. I had to realize that we are here for a reason. We are here to help our fellow christian brothers and sisters. We are to pray for one another, we are to uplift our brothers and sisters in Christ and lead the lost to a saving knowledge of Christ. We are not here to just idle. We are to be busy. I finally had to get myself in a place with God that He could finally start using me to be a blessing to others. I still have a way to go but I thank God that He uses me and work through me to be a blessing to others. When I think of where I could be without Jesus, it makes me shake in fear. But God got me!!!
 
I thank God for you and your willingness to speak out to help others. I have realized that everything is according to God's purpose. My prayer has been asking Him to help me to be what He wants me to be. This life really is just a vapor and things that seem significant here will be of no importance when we get to our heavenly home. I want to to be obedient to God and my heart yearns for His favor.
 
swest said:
I thank God for you and your willingness to speak out to help others. I have realized that everything is according to God's purpose. My prayer has been asking Him to help me to be what He wants me to be. This life really is just a vapor and things that seem significant here will be of no importance when we get to our heavenly home. I want to to be obedient to God and my heart yearns for His favor.
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Because of His grace and the Sacrifice of His Son... You already walk everyday in His favor. He loves you so much and His grace surrounds you constantly. It's just sometimes that we have trouble seeing it. And that could be the enemy trying to trap us into a negative pattern
 
swest said:
I honestly don't know the answer to that...But I do know that God sees "the big picture."
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Yes swest God does see the big picture. But the main thing is it doesn't matter how the picture looks to (us). If we give it and trust it to God, He will bring us through.
 
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