What's your struggle?

[LearningToLetGo]

The name "Israel" means, among others, "to struggle with God." In the Bible, Jacob literally struggled (wrestled) with God, either directly or via an angelic proxy.

Genesis 32:22-30 (ESV)

22 The same night he arose and took his two wives, his two female servants, and his eleven children, and crossed the ford of the Jabbok. 23 He took them and sent them across the stream, and everything else that he had. 24 And Jacob was left alone. And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of the day. 25 When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his hip socket, and Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him. 26 Then he said, “Let me go, for the day has broken.” But Jacob said, “I will not let you go unless you bless me.” 27 And he said to him, “What is your name?” And he said, “Jacob.” 28 Then he said, “Your name shall no longer be called Jacob, but Israel, for you have striven with God and with men, and have prevailed.” 29 Then Jacob asked him, “Please tell me your name.” But he said, “Why is it that you ask my name?” And there he blessed him. 30 So Jacob called the name of the place Peniel, saying, “For I have seen God face to face, and yet my life has been delivered.”

So what do you wrestle with?

 

[LearningToLetGo]

So what do you wrestle with?

It's only fair I go first...

I struggle with being. Not always and not every day, but the one consistent struggle throughout my life is simply the fact that I exist at all. More precisely, it's the fact that I exist physically and am constrained by a reality not of my choosing. Hunger, thirst, the need for sleep, sexual desire, the requirement that I one day die. These have always struck me as maddeningly insane.

It's for this reason I began my search. Being raised in an agnostic family (agnostic in that we never talked of God), I had no answers to my own questions so when I grew old enough to articulate my feelings I began my search. I started with the classical English writers and poets, which lead me to Greek philosophy, then eastern philosophy. I read whatever I could, conversed with anyone who would listen. I met romantics and stoics, hedonists, Catholics, Christians, Taoists, Buddhists. I listened to New Age gurus, non-dual teachers, self-described shamans. I walked up and down the philosophical and theological highway, and every road either came to a dead end or lead me back to the Bible.

So I did what any honest seeker would do: I read. I read the Bible. I read Bible commentaries. I listened to radio hosts, television hosts. And yes, I joined online forums. I stretched doctrine until it broke, then I pieced it back together again, constantly asking, "why, why, why?"

Ultimately I came to one simple realization: trust.

I acknowledge and trust God's genius in His creation. The stars that shine in the night; this planet we live on; electromagnetism, mathematics, chemistry, biology, astrophysics, even logic itself -- my very mind that asks the question! -- are all God's creation. I sit in awe of that, so why not pull this thread to its logical conclusion? Do I really say God's creation is perfect in all these ways except this one? Is that really my position?

No! No. It's not. Therefore, whatever I feel, whatever my "instinct" tells me, I must hold true to one belief: God is perfect in all ways, including ways that insult or offend me. I must let go of my existential dread, of my hubris and my fear, and trust the creator. I must trust not out of fear but despite it. That is to say I must have faith.

And this "instinct"? I've come to realize that is sin. It's sin that says, "I am correct and God is wrong". It's sin that presumes to believe it could do better or that God has somehow erred. It's sin that asks God, "why did you create suffering?" instead of asking, "why do I think suffering is a mistake?"

So there you go. All cards on the table. Merry Christmas.

 

[Cosia]

Hi LearningToLetGo
SSome of your questions above remind of Job.
God answered his questions with questions. They made Job think, just as your questions make you think. I don't think it is a sin to ask questions.

We don't think like God thinks, but do understand once we realise why??
God alone has all the answers, but God's word explains too.

One day we will walk and talk with God, just like Adam and Eve did in the garden, before they fell. I believe that is why you were created, to know, love, and serve God.

God Bless you Jason

 

[bobinfaith]

Hi LearningToLetGo
SSome of your questions above remind of Job. God answered his questions with questions. They made Job think, just as your questions make you think. I don't think it is a sin to ask questions. We don't think like God thinks, but do understand once we realise why?? God alone has all the answers, but God's word explains too. One day we will walk and talk with God, just like Adam and Eve did in the garden, before they fell. I believe that is why you were created, to know, love, and serve God. God Bless you Jason

Good morning, Cosia;

You wrote and excellent post and this got me thinking this morning about God's answers to our many questions, but also His constant attentiveness and promises never to forsake us.

God bless you and Merry Christmas, Cosia.

Bob

 

[Cosia]

Hi Bob,
I think we all ask questions of God at times. We are an inquisitive lot.

God Bless Bob and Merry Christmas to you and Hazel.