When Others Try To Shame Us.

[Via dolarossa]

How do you respond when someone tries to shame you or put you down?

This has happened so many times in my life, and I am still sometimes affected by a people pleaser record that I have to continually monitor so I can switch off for good without carrying any guilt. it makes me back off and not want to have a satisfying and fuller relationship with people who do this... and It puts a wedge between us.

I remember one time at work where the supervisor tried to shame me privately into doing more, even though I thought I had done more than enough. She expected me to read her mind that she was was tired. My spirit immediately went into sympathy mode that she was just tired. Previous me would have jumped to attention without thought, seeing her condition, and done more...but now I am more cautious of people expecting me to jump when shamed.

Lucky for me, Jesus came in and reminded me, that she only needed to Ask to receive;- but I didn't tell her that, because of her arrogance.

From Matthew 7;7 NIV
“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

And I am reminded, it's not my problem if they don't like the answer they get either... if it's not what they want, at least they will have an answer. The rest is not mine to own.

We are not called to be mind readers. We as Christians are to ask and not assume also and believe what we receive.

 

[Cosia]

Nobody has the right to shame anyone, usually over petty things.

There are acceptable ways of talking to each other. If someone shames another person in front of others, I believe that is the wrong way to sort the problem.

Hugs to you Via.

 

[bobinfaith]

Hello Via and Cosia;

When someone insults or shames me, I find it best to remain silent in front of others so the person who throws the darts and arrows exposes themself.

It's worse when I'm one on one but will still remain silent. God loves a humble and bearing heart while guarding one's tongue as the Lord Himself will turn to the one who exposes their folly and what comes out of his / her mouth.

At that moment of verbal attack I think of these Scriptures;

Proverbs 18:13, 13 He that answereth a matter before he heareth it, it is folly and shame unto him. - KJV

Proverbs 26:4-5, 4 Answer not a fool according to his folly, lest you be like him yourself. 5 Answer a fool according to his folly, lest he be wise in his own eyes. - ESV

Solomon wrote these and is a pretty wise bloke.

God bless you, sisters.

Bob

 

[BibleLover]

Remember, you are not responsible for what other people say to you, but you are responsible for how you respond to what they say.

I usually respond with silence while I ask myself if the person or the comment will matter in a thousand years, and if the answer is no, I disregard the comment.

 

[PaulisSaved]

Shame is our reaction, not theirs.
If a person targets you with negative and you absorb it. That is not part of you.
The saying, is do not let others take up real-estate in your head. Its 100% true.
Lets face. It Sin takes up enough space in our heads having to try and lead a life and follow Christ.
No one has shamed me that I can remember as and adult. My tools in that area are solid and grounded.
Why? If one is curious. GOD. You can not make me ever feel worse then I do in failing God.
You can give it your best shot, but no one on this planet can shame me, if I do not let them.
Turning to God as you have, always seems to solves these types of issue.