Sorry for the delay of the second part of this story been preoccupied
You Only Get One Chance To Make A First Reaction!
You Only Get One Chance To Make A First Reaction!
Well, we had a wedding last Saturday at our little mission church , in a little town called Little Milltown, lying in the hills between Yorkshire and Lancashire my home town
It was both a happy and sad occasion and thereby hangs the tale I want to tell;
You remember me telling you the story about the prayer meeting? Well you met Simon and Sam in that story, Simon joined our church and settled into life split between Milltown and his life as a sub mariner, living six months of each year in a nuclear submarine under the sea somewhere in the world and three months back home in his little bachelor pad he bought in Milltown.
Sam, the young girl he married was also at the prayer meeting that night, this being one of the few times that Samantha’s father allowed her out.
Sam’s father, Robert, was the minister of the ‘Free Church of the old Apostle’ or ‘The Hell fire and Damnation Church’ as it was locally known.
He was strict, very strict, and it could be said that he was Victorian in his values, thus, with great gusto, he would call down ‘hell fire and damnation’ upon everyone and everything!
Robert was against everything modern, well it seemed he was against everything! Believing everything was all the work of Satan.
Mobile phones were an abomination; television was the box straight from hell! And the internet... well we won’t even go there!
In spite being nearly eighteen old, her father ruled Sam with a ‘rod of iron’, she was not allowed makeup, have a mobile phone, wear ‘modern clothing’ or have friends outside the church and especially NOT allowed boyfriends.,
Poor Sam was expected to be at home as soon as college finished, Only being allowed out alone if she was attending the ‘Free Church of the old Apostle’’, going to meetings at other churches were frowned upon but tolerated as long as she was chaperoned... get the picture?
Well, when Sam and Simon saw each other at the prayer meeting and although they didn’t actually get round to talking to each other, it was love at first sight!
It was because Robert could not do with women praying in public that Sam’s uncle was nominated as the chaperone for these prayer meetings, Sam’s uncle often turned a blind eye as Sam and Simon got to know each other and became close friends, even colluding with them to ensure they had time together.
Things came to a head when Robert found out... Sam had gone out for a meal with Simon the night before Simon was due to go back to sea instead of being at the united youth service, foolish I know, but when you’re in love and are about to be parted for six months... foolish yes , but understandable.
Winifred, the organist from the ‘Free Church of the old Apostle’, had seen them in the restaurant holding hands and thought it was her ‘Christian duty’ to tell Sam’s father, (not that she was a gossip)... she was only concerned for Samantha’s soul, ‘holding hands’ with a young man in public was the first step on the slippery slope to hell! Winifred had never allowed any man to get anywhere near her let alone hold her hand! She also managed to tell half the congregation of the church in her concern for Sam’s soul!
Well... All hell broke loose when Sam returned home; Robert was shouting and screaming at her, calling her ‘Jezebel’, a ‘deceitful little whore’ and worse. He went on and on calling down the full wrath of God upon the ‘son of Satan’ she had been seen out with.
Sam’s dad had got himself so worked up; he started to punctuate his ranting with his fists!
Sam made a desperate dash for the door, after a prolonged scuffle she managed to free herself and ran out the house fleeing this violent so called ‘man of God’.
Into the night with no friends to turn to, cold, wet, it was a wintery, windy November night, Sam found herself, looking like a drowned rat, stood on the doorstep of Simon’s flat.
Near hysterical and sobbing uncontrollably, it took some time for Sam to calm down enough to tell Simon exactly what had happened. Simon was all for going around and having it out with Sam’s dad, but Sam begged him not to go.
She feared that her dad, who was in one of his violent ‘God Vengeance’ Moods’, would, if he didn’t attack Simon, take it out on Sue, her mother,
Simon and Sam talked for what seemed like hours when Simon suggested that Sam go and get out of her wet clothes and have a hot shower, As she was sat in a pool of water shivering with cold, she readily agreed.
Being directed through the bedroom into the bathroom, Sam stood for quite some time in the shower allowing the hot water to flood over her face bathing the bruises that had started to decorate her face and body, the spray of the water hiding the tears flowing freely down her face.
Simon laid out several towels, one of his rugby shirts and pair of his trackies on his bed while Sam showered,
Simon then busied himself in the kitchen making cocoa waiting for Sam to finish showering thinking what next? Sam couldn’t go home and it wouldn’t be right for her to stay in his flat. Being an orphan and having no family to turn to in times like this, Sam’s uncle was out of town and couldn’t be contacted, Simon was angry, upset, confused, vulnerable and feeling very alone.
Simon tried several times to phone the pastor, but only got his answer phone, remembering that Tuesdays were the pastor’s day off Simon remembered there was an alternative telephone number to ring; it was printed on the church notices, a desperate search of the flat found the church notices in the bottom of shredder bin in thousands of pieces, as a last resort he rang the church office phone and left a message on the answer phone.
Hearing Sam calling him, he bought the two cups of steaming hot cocoa into the lounge and was stopped in his tracks, his jaw dropped to the floor as Sam was stood there in front of him only just wearing a very small towel, “If he thinks I’m a whore I might as well not disappoint him!”
With both of them in an emotional mess and Simon was about to go away for six months, reason and common scene flew out of the window, as the towel fell to the floor they fell into each other’s arms.
The next morning Simon realising what he had done and how far they had gone, feeling very guilty, wrote a note one word ‘Sorry’, slipped out of his flat and was on the train back to the submarine base way before Sam woke up.
How different things would have been if Sam’s dad had reacted with love instead of anger, but rightly or wrongly, the chain of events that had started with one out burst of anger, had resulted in things getting a whole lot worse... Sam, feeling guilty about loving Simon the way she had the night before and feeling confused by Simons note, having nowhere else to go, she returned home.
Over the next few weeks Sam was the subject of her dad’s vitriolic monologues about sin, repentance and reaping the rewards of deceit, being abandoned by that ‘son of Satan’, Robert continued to punctuating his words with his fists ... But after a while an uneasy truce was unspokenly declared in the house.
I think this would be the right time to introduce Auntie, every church has one, nobody knows her real name and everybody called her Aunty, a widow who seemed to have been old forever, always there, loved by everyone, she had a love for God which radiated out of every fibre of her body, she was a Romans 12 kind of girl, although it’s been a long time since she has been called a girl: Aunty lived her life reflecting the words of that wonderful chapter of the bible... it’s worth breaking from this tale at this point and reading that chapter… but more of Aunty later.
Being a slim elegant young girl it was soon obvious that Sam was putting on weight, Sam’s mother noticed and bought a kit from the chemist to confirm what they both already knew.
How could this be? They were only together for the one night. Simon was in a submarine somewhere under the ocean and could not be contacted for another four months.
They decided they would not tell Sam’s dad straight away as they wanted to choose the right moment... but was there a right moment? Robert got so angry when he found out that Sam was just seeing Simon, what would he do when he found out Sam was pregnant? Well the truce between Robert and his family lasted until the day he found out!
Well, when Robert did eventually find out, he did explode... some said he got what he believed for… the things he said about his own daughter was horrible; Sam’s dad locked her in her bedroom, and decided that she was to stay locked in her bedroom until she agreed to have an abortion, which he decided was the only answer to the shame visited upon his house.
There was a bottle of whisky in the medicine cabinet for emergencies, and Robert started to have a nip to settle his nerves, this very quickly became a tot then a glassful. Within a few weeks, in he finished up in yet another drunken stupor. Robert only allowed Sam out of her room to demand again and again that she repent and agree to an abortion,
This again being punctuated with his fists, directed at both Sam and her mother, He was calling down the wrath of God, condemning Sam, Simon and the whole human race to hell in his violent, drunken outburst.
The day Sam escaped the house, slurring incoherently in another drunken rage, Sam’s dad finally sliding down the wall collapsed in a drunken stupor, he lay slumped in the corner of the hallway.
Sue, Sam’s mother finally had enough and when Robert slid down the wall after this latest outburst she leant over him to check that the drink had taken him into total oblivion, grabbed the house keys from his waistcoat pocket and threw them to Sam and shouted,
“Go... Get out; go away while he is out of it... GO!!!”
“Where to?” Sam quivered, “I don’t know just get out of here...err... I’ll meet you at Jacks coffee house in the high street... just get out before he wakes up... go on, GO!”
Sam ran out the house without putting her coat on, she even forgot to take her purse, only realising she had no money when she tried to pay for her coffee at ‘Jacks’.
Auntie it was that came to the rescue; she just happened to be behind Sam in the queue, Coincidence? But there again is coincidence God working anonymously? Had she been sent by angels? All Aunty recalled was that she’d happen to have been shopping and was ready for her weekly treat. Coffee and cream cake and today was the day. She insisted in paying for Sam’s coffee and bought a pack of cream donuts as well saying they were cheaper by the half dozen!
They sat together as there were only one empty table in the whole room; Auntie asked if she was ok? With that question, it was as if she already knew about Simon, her dad, the baby and everything.
Sam remembered seeing Aunty making tea at the little church Simon attended, she felt like she had known Aunty all her life, the flood gates opened and Sam poured out her heart.
“You poor little lamb, here, let me give you a big hug,” Auntie didn’t need to say any more, with that hug not criticising , condemning or judging her, Sam somehow knew everything would be sorted.
Two coffees and three cream donuts later, by the time Sam’s mum had arrived at the cafe; plans had been made for Sam’s future. Sam was to stay with Aunty until the baby was born and Simon had come home and their future could be planned.
Aunty stated, “There is to be no arguments you’re coming home with me now to be part of my family and that’s it!” and that is exactly what happened!
Well the next few months flew past; Sam found it a real revelation to feel the love in Aunties home, living as part of Aunties extended family, sharing a bedroom with Aunties granddaughters and the home with two visiting missionaries, and a homeless guy who sometimes slept in the garden shed, but always turned up for Sunday tea…. And a bath!
Meal times were quite chaotic with what seemed to be half the local college swelling the numbers. Sam remembered one day that a record twenty-five people were fed, where they came from and what they ate Sam could not work out, but everybody left Aunties home well fed in both body and mind.
All too soon Simon was back home and making plans for their wedding. While he was at sea, before knowing about the baby, Simon had decided that he was going to marry Sam; As soon as he came ashore he telephoned everyone to find out where Sam was to ask her to marry him...
Sam’s mum and dad had moved away, Robert never again preached as he could not face the shame he believed Sam had bought upon him.
He continued to drink whisky, drinking when he remembered, and continuing drinking to forget... the problem was when he had finished with the bottle, the bottle had not finished with him and Robert was now quite openly the aggressive drunken bully he had become in the privacy of his own home!
Eventually, a few months after the Simon and Sam’s wedding, Sue could not stand this drunken bully any longer and left him to live in a little granny flat in Sam and Simon’s new house; she became the resident baby sitter so Sam could continue with her education.
What a difference a reaction made; Robert, because his first reaction was anger to a problem that needed love and understanding, missed the chance to support his daughter when she needed it most, she knew she had done wrong and needed to ask for forgiveness but Robert’s reaction destroyed himself, his family and his life.
Simon and Sam were welcomed into the family of our little church, and the lessons learned by Auntie’s example of unconditional love changed not only Simon and Sam’s life but also the attitude of a lot of members of our little church, as Auntie would say “You only get one chance to make a first reaction! You can mess up if you get it wrong”. Auntie showed unconditional love and was prepared to, without judging, give the love, care and support that Sam needed.
Aunty was the guest of honour at their wedding , but sad to say it was Sam’s uncle who gave Sam away, Robert could not come to terms with Sam and Simon getting married, and wasn’t sober enough to attend the wedding.
Aunty was also asked to be ‘God Mother’ to Simon and Sam’s lovely little daughter called Gianna Gladys... Gianni was chosen because the name means ‘God is gracious’ and both Sam and Simon had learnt that in a real way, but why Gladys? It certainly was not a family name? Could it possibly be Auntie’s real name? Nobody knows and Aunty isn’t telling.
Sam and Simon family is growing, Sam is expecting again and like Aunties home, with granny Sue living with them and the other spare bedrooms often occupied with someone who needed a bed, life is busy for Sam and Simon as they work hard in our little mission church in the little town of Milltown, between Yorkshire and Lancashire, my home town.
