Zoey Problem - Do we hate pregnancy or inappropriate acts before marriage?

Zoey Problem - Do we hate pregnancy or inappropriate acts before marriage?

I read the thread about Zoey 101 and the pregnancy of the 16 year old star. Having lived in the south I am well aware that the majority of young girls entering abortion clinics are those attending protestant churches who teach the Word! Why? Because some churches would rather these girls get an abortion then bring shame on their parents and church.

Soooo, where should we stand on this? Why do we get so upset about the pregnancy, but give passing condemnation the acts and behaviors of our children leading up to this problem?



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Teach and correct in love, and not in condemnation. Always look at our motives when talking to people about their sins. Are we seeking to help them or are we seeking to judge them.
Don't get me wrong. I am not saying that teenage pregnancy is ok. Trust me on this one - I am out preaching and teaching on the front lines talking to kids about making wise, godly choices.

What I get upset about is a culture that gets more upset that our children are not using protection and would allow themselves to get pregnant, rather than one that is concerned about following Biblical precepts.

We have 60% of Seniors in High School involved is sexual relationships. Who is crying out against that? Just about no one! We have 90% of High School students viewing pornography online. Who is crying out against this? Just about no one. We have the New England Patriots caught cheating - something that the majority of companies do, surveys show the majority of High School students cheat - so how much have we heard in the last two weeks about the cheating Patriots? Just about nothing. Our culture and Christians are silent!

But, if a girl becomes pregnant, then we hear all kinds of outrage! Yes, because we are not on top of every sin does not mean we should ingnore some sins. This 16 year old girl was living in sin. Now she has chosen to not add to her sin by destroying the life of this child. By not compounding her sin with abortion she publicly exposes her first sin. Now how does the church react? By viciously attacking her. Maybe we should spend more time teaching the importance of following Biblical truths! One of those truths is the sanctity of life!

Just more food for thought.
I understand what you are saying Mark.
It is like people cant face the disgrace and would rather sweep it under the carpet with no-one finding out.
It is the legalistic view that would rather look good, than face the reality.
I think it is awful,
and I am sure God looks more mercifully on someone that makes a mistake but faces up to it, rather, than in order to save face, gets an abortion.
Too many 'christians' would rather look spiritual and good, than actually be that.
It is all about image.
The issue of protecting the life of the unborn child is great and not to be belittled in any way among Christians. I think what Mark is finding issue with here is the fact that the Christian community prefers to sweep it under the rug and not to bring it out in the open to the shame and disgrace of the church.

No Christian should ever do anything that would bring reproach upon the name of Christ. Please note I said should ever. You see, we do bring shame to our blessed Saviour daily. However, that, too is not the issue Mark is endeavoring to discuss.

I believe the issue Mark is concerned with is that of not letting a sin become public knowlege in the open community or the church community and bring shame to the CHURCH. You see, the shame has already been brought to and placed upon our blessed Saviour if one of his saved ones sins.

In the case of a pregnancy out of wedlock, in times past it would have been handled by a back alley abortion, a visit to a friendly family doctor who would keep it secret, or the mother-to-be being sent out of town to "visit Auntie Susie" for a year. You see, if any of these options were exercised, the CHURCH would not be shamed.

In today's Open Community and Open Church, I would think that the "anything goes" philosophy would prevaile and the unwed mother would simply continue life as usual; and when it was near time for the child to be born, the CHURCH would host a baby shower (note: this is almost always done for wedded mothers, WHY not for UNwed mothers?). The baby is born and given up for adoption or raised by the grandparents or by the young single mother. I have seen this happen numerous times. What is RIGHT about this senario is that the child lives to be born!

What is wrong about this senario is that the sin issue has not been addressed. Once the sin issue is addressed by the church pastor and the young mother-to-be, she should be welcomed into the church. I am not certain I would go so far as to host or attend a shower in such a situation, but I would probably want to help provide for the child through a gift.


Abortion is human sacrifice on the alter of selfishness. Barretta used to say if you can't do the time don't do the crime.

You put it very well. I very much agree with you.

The last church I was at, a single mom got up in front of the church and asked for forgiveness for her sin and told us she was pregnant. We were all shocked, but she was supported because she asked for forgiveness. She was in my Sunday School class and yearly she would share a letter she got from the adopted parents. It was such a joy in her life to hear how the baby was doing. I liked how that was handled.

Recently in my church a high school girl got pregnant. Rightfully so, she decided to allow the babby to be born, but never was there a "repentance" or anything close to admitting sin. Instead the church "supported her" by acting as if nothing were wrong. They even held a baby shower for her. I was shocked how this was (or was not) handled.

Again GrannyG - well put.


Mark I have to say in response to the title- I do not like to see anyone mess up their life but I do not hate anyone regardless of where they find themselves.
Sorry, i'm not sure if I understand this post...I think everything has been said Mark...

What concerns me is in the years I've been attending various denominations, I 've never heard a sermon or teaching on morality:confused:

Our young people are bombarded with moral codes by the world so why is the Church silent on this:confused:


I can say I have heard a plethara of sermons on morality in some churches and the people there were no more moral than any other. It is ok to have standards of course and they are needed but I have yet to see any good fruit come out of the contiual preaching of them. I have to say most people know when thy are sinning and do so in spite of the conviction they are feeling. What most need is not to be humiliated publicly but they intead they need to be shown the answer- the delivering power of Jesus Christ.
Calling people tp the front to confess before the whole church is not scriptural at all. Some may benefit but I have seen others completely driven away by this.
I love pregnancy and the beautiful babies that follow. Babies are a gift from God, shouldn't we appreciate and prepare to receive that gift? If you were going to plant a garden, wouldn't you prepare the soil? Preparation for pregnancy is having two loving parents that are going to care for the child. If they are anxious to bring children into the world, they should prepare first, marriage and a stable home.
I love pregnancy and the beautiful babies that follow. Babies are a gift from God, shouldn't we appreciate and prepare to receive that gift? If you were going to plant a garden, wouldn't you prepare the soil? Preparation for pregnancy is having two loving parents that are going to care for the child. If they are anxious to bring children into the world, they should prepare first, marriage and a stable home.

This is exactly the point that I talked about with my daughter when this whole subject was brought up!
By a great margin ,here in The U.S. Christians take their children (if they will go) to church for two hours on Sunday ,Maybe an additional couple hours for projects or events, spend an averge of less than two hours with them a week. The rest of the time our off spring watchTV, play Vidio games, listen music,none of which hold any social or moral value ,hang out with freinds which have the same up bringing. And to top it off(in the name of education) we ship them 5 days a week to public schools where they are taught God doesn't exist, we all come from no where and end up as dirt in box, truth is relivive, morality is an out dated concept and life has no value beyond what it contributes to society.

What do you expect:confused: The Cleavers??? Leave it to Beaver???? Donna Reed maybe??? You think that they can spend the magority of their time in cess pool and come out clean and pure???? Better think again!!!
You put 300 or 600 hundred hormone producing creatures in a box for six or seven hours a day and then turn them loose to do what they please, you think they ain't going to reproduce??????
Wake up people!!! the kids need parents, not another shrink, or program, not an X box or Ipod, or another text messaging phone.
A parent, not a freind, another teacher, a hired hand ,a baby sitter, or nanny.

Reverantly His
Very well . . .

Sorry, i'm not sure if I understand this post...I think everything has been said Mark...

What concerns me is in the years I've been attending various denominations, I 've never heard a sermon or teaching on morality:confused:

Our young people are bombarded with moral codes by the world so why is the Church silent on this:confused:

stated post of which I could not agree more with. This is alot of the problem we see going on in America collectively. The teachings about morality are almost nil in every church I've attended over the last few years-whether it be my own, or when visitng while out of town. And I know it is hard to tell from one visit but when the church is starting to look more like the world; instead of making a difference IN the world, that is why we see happening what we see.

Abortion is a subject very near and dear to my heart. I volunteer for our local Pregnancy Care Center - which is the complete opposite of Planned Parenthood. It is a Christ centered resource for women to use in the event of an unplanned pregnancy where they can come, in a non-judgemental environment, and receive support as well as encouragement. And where they are told they have REAL choices - such as keeping the baby and adoption available to them. Unlike Planned Parenthood tries to make it sound.

I've also done some research with women who have been through abortions - who have suffered greatly at the hands of Post Abortion Stress Syndrome. The one underlying key common denominator with alot of them was the relationship with their mother's seemed to be not quite where they should be. We as mothers need to treat our daughters like they were meant to be. Not that some don't. I think we have a lot of mothers who are hurt by the trials of life themselves, so they get into motherhood wounded and it has a tendency to come out in not so productive ways when we mother our children. We have unhealthy people raising unhealthy children.

Next, if we are to do like God's Word tells us to do, which is to: love our children unconditionally, train, nurture, correct/discipline, guide our children - in the ways of the Lord (as we see modeled in the Bible) we would probably see a whole different outcome, then we see today. If we don't exasperate our children (as the Bible says in EPH 6:4) and teach them right, they will naturally make better decisions that won't result in something as devastating as abortion. Furthermore, if we as parents are excellent moral people, they will consequently make better moral decisions and not end up in bed with the first Tom, Dick, or Harry that will pay attention to them and show them love the wrong way. We need to (in other words) erase what the 60s brought about.

Lastly, I think young women get into these predicaments because they really don't have good role models to look up to now-a-days. Especially if we are to go by what is seen on TV.

In other words - let's role back and look at what brings young people to this point of pre marital sex; abortion; and getting involved with things they will "pay for" for the rest of their lives because they haven't had a good moral foundation ingrained in them.
we don,t hate anything,like abortion,this is wrong because it,s killing.i don,t hate the woman for doing such thing,just saying that the act is wrong.
I don't like saying I 'hate' abortion or I 'hate' inappropriate acts before marriage because hate is such a strong and repulsive emotion.

I like Britney's younger sister fine, but, I do not like what she did.
Maybe we should bring these things up to our Pastors, Priests, Youth Leaders:confused:

I think most all especially older women in the Church should hugs the pickles and love on the youth... And try not to be to judgemental about certain things... We should be merciful to our youth, and in love and meekness but firmness teach them about morality...Maybe in Sunday school...

One girl tween in our Church just loves me, she loves when I hug her, and she stands close to me as I am talking to others and when there's an opening she comes over for some more hugging... She told me once that she gets depressed at times, and I shared with her about my depression as a teen...

It seemed to bond us further... Church goers, most of these kids are being raised by 1 parent who has to work... They may come home to an empty house... One or both parents may be involved in alcohol, drugs, sexual promiscuity, or mentally ill...

Unfortunatley some parents substitute the latest and greatest toy, for time and decipline... I don't have kids myself but what I hear from my friends who do it is really a sad world out there for our youth :sad02:
We should all LOVE ( as in a verb) them...


It's my opinion that a large part of the problem is Sex ED. I mean, you teach a kid how to catch and he'll go play baseball. Teach them about sex, they'll go do it. There is no reason for kids to be learning about sex until their parents think it necessary or until like, Senior year of high school.

Also, there are good teens out there. There are churches and schools that really promote and teach about purity and chastity. There's a huge amount of us here in my area that plan to wait until marriage.
There were certain things in the Mormon church that I respected about how they raise their children. Their teens get up at 5:00 to go to what is called "seminary" every day, even Sat. What they learn there is cultish because it is repetative stuff so they will be ingrained with Mormonism. But, it does teach them discipline and most of them love it.

Each family is encouraged to researve Monday nights for family night, where they play games, have skits, just generally spend quality time with their kids.

They teach their girls to wear modest clothing and encourage them to use their talents in how to find other ways to be in style. Most girls would feel uncomfortable wearing revealing clothes. But they do it for Heavenly Father.

They listen to Mormon songs, especially written to teach them politeness and respect for God and parents, teachers and others.

When they turn 19, they are encouraged to go into the mission field for two years and there they learn how to become more reliable on themselves. They continue to study and they come home, responsible, respectful young men and women.

If you've ever invited a young missionary into your home, you are met with respect and when they leave, you are impressed with how they conducted themselves.

Even though these young people are being brainwashed to believe what they are told and not to investigate other religions, they are to be commended for their training and for the examples they are to other Christians.

I'm sure most of you have views on this opposite mine, but it sure has made a difference in how these kids conduct their lives in discipline and obedience in comparison to others.

If only they were not being taught the wrong doctrine.

And maybe I'm wrong about the Mormon kids growing up in Salt Lake City and in bigger Mormon communities than this one. It's possible they have a lot more problems with their offspring because they see much hypocricy. I don't know. What are your thoughts?
I noticed a number (not all) of you mentioning and in one case near condeming girl in these things...not one mention of the boy...or is he exempt?:)