Table Manners

[Lanolin]

I was thinking of table manners (or lack of) as I was having dinner.
Do you have table manners in your household?
What about when you go to a restaurant?
Is there certain things you always do, and things you never do?
Is there someone who's always telling you how to eat or what to do at the table? Or talking through the meal? Do you share food? Do you watch tv or have music while eating? Do you 'dress up'?
How do you set the table? Where do you sit and is it important? Or do you even have a table??
How long do you spend eating or sitting at table?
Do you say 'grace' every single meal? Or make looong prayers?
Who does the dishes?
Do you have problems with cutlery?
What is considered rude?
What happens if you are full or can't finish? Or you are on a diet or fasting? Do you still sit at the table and pretend to eat?
Is dinner and lunch at the same time everyday and how long do you have to eat?

One more question - in american movies set in schools, why does there always seem to be a 'food fight'? Just some fun things to 'chew over'

 

[LearningToLetGo]

Who does the dishes?

This one's easy. Whoever cooks does not do the dishes.

As to all the other questions... it depends.

 

[Major]

This one's easy. Whoever cooks does not do the dishes.

As to all the other questions... it depends.

I like that!

My wife cooks and our dogs clean off the dishes! It works great and keeps the dogs fat!

 

[Lanolin]

I am sure in some kitchens the dishwashing machine does the dishes...but some people are too lazy to load it and push the button. The dishes also need putting away, unless you have TWO dishwashers, or drawers one for dirty and one for clean, so you could pretty much keep your dishes in the machine at all times just swap them from one drawer/washer to the next.

 

[LearningToLetGo]

I am sure in some kitchens the dishwashing machine does the dishes...but some people are too lazy to load it and push the button.

In the fourteen years I've owned a dishwasher it has been used maybe four or five times. In our house the dishwasher serves as a drying rack only. In fact, the dishwasher has been broken for the last four years and it has caused us zero distress.

 

[Lanolin]

In the fourteen years I've owned a dishwasher it has been used maybe four or five times. In our house the dishwasher serves as a drying rack only. In fact, the dishwasher has been broken for the last four years and it has caused us zero distress.

Machines can be noisy
Thats what people don't tell you about modern life because by the time you've lived it you've gone deaf.
Hairdryers, blenders, washing machines, dishwashers, inksinkerators, vacuum cleaners, breadmakers, air fryers, air conditioning units, fans, lawnmowers, cars, refrigerators, sewing machines, elevators, background music, radio, tv, satanic mills....

So when people write about families having meals together and having actual conversations, I'm like what planet are they living on. When I have a meal I want to have it in peace and quiet and in total silence enjoying my food, not talk with my mouth full lol.

 

[blueskies]

What about when you go to a restaurant?
Is there certain things you always do, and things you never do?

Do you say 'grace' every single meal?

We do say grace at both lunch and dinner, although breakfast is usually exempt… not awake enough to be coherent.

At home this is normal and our guests are now used to us saying grace before meals. In fact, the guests are often called to say grace at our meals when they are visiting, it is refreshing to hear others ways of praising God before meals, so I think the ones that know us now come prepared.

When we are out for lunch and dinner we also say grace and this can be more interesting as other dinners and our servers sometimes don’t know how to react.

For instance, I sometimes see, out of the corner of my eye, a server approaching, only to then turn around and go into a ‘holding pattern’ when they realize we are saying a grace. All in all, it is a pleasant experience and doesn’t make us uncomfortable and we surely don’t want anyone near us to be uncomfortable. I think most people find it a charming comfort to see us thanking God before meals.

 

[Lanolin]

We do say grace at both lunch and dinner, although breakfast is usually exempt… not awake enough to be coherent.

At home this is normal and our guests are now used to us saying grace before meals. In fact, the guests are often called to say grace at our meals when they are visiting, it is refreshing to hear others ways of praising God before meals, so I think the ones that know us now come prepared.

When we are out for lunch and dinner we also say grace and this can be more interesting as other dinners and our servers sometimes don’t know how to react.

For instance, I sometimes see, out of the corner of my eye, a server approaching, only to then turn around and go into a ‘holding pattern’ when they realize we are saying a grace. All in all, it is a pleasant experience and doesn’t make us uncomfortable and we surely don’t want anyone near us to be uncomfortable. I think most people find it a charming comfort to see us thanking God before meals.

its never done in my family.

I have seen it done in other homes but I think its can be awkward to ask a guest to do it if they not used to it.
I usually wait for others be seated before eating or only start when the host has said so and they are seated. If its a special feast its usually done but for everyday meals everyone is so hungry at school lunch and they need to eat fast before the time is up (only get 15 minutes!) that everyone just goes ahead to eat.
At restaurants we don't call it grace we call it blessing the cooks/staff who made it and thats usually done at the end of the meal or when we pay. find it a bit awkward when my friend does it and expects me to 'say the prayer' which I don't even know there was 'the prayer' because all I know is 'the Lords prayer' not 'the set food prayer' So I just thank the Lord not only for the food but for our fellowship time with friends. Quakers have a moments silence before they start eating.

Some families all hold hands and it can be quite long. If I invite an church elder over I would usually ask him or her to say a blessing.

Mum is the one who does the cooking so, I thank her by eating everything and saying how good it is, and dad tends to do the dishes. I contribute by buying the food but I don't get the thing where, I'm expected to cook if there aren't any ingredients in the fridge/pantry. Shopping for fresh food takes planning and time, so don't expect me to have everything prepped and ready and magic a home-cooked meal out of thin air, which can be what its like. That's what takeways are for. God Bless takeaways!

 

[Lanolin]

I quite enjoy when I get time alone and can make meals how I like them and get to experiment a little in the kitchen.

I think I'm scared off by cooking too much by my mother. Either its not perfect or its just not perfect, she's very hard to please.
Also too many cooks spoil the broth. So I don't feel like I'm helping any - she doesn't need my help and I always make a terrible mess that if she's watching needs to be cleaned up INSTANTLY. Be glad I am not anyone's housewife, I couldn't stand it.

People talk about domestic gods or goddesses. Well the ancient Chinese had an actual Kitchen God, there are little shrines of them in most chinese restaurants where people burn incense and leave little peace offerings. But if there's no Kitchen God you just have to appease your mother by constantly praising her for feeding you and saying her meals are way better than anything you could find in a restaurant!

 

[Lanolin]

My dad told me at the dinner table that Petula Clark was still alive at 91.
I did not know what to say to that. I just smiled and chewed my food. He's always saying random things like that about people I don't know and cricket scores. I don't know what I'm supposed to say to respond. This is why dinner time conversations are ...random. I never really talk at the dinner table. When our cat was alive, she would sit next to him and he'd fuss over her and feed her morsels but now there is no cat....(I'm a poor substitute, I am not cute or furry)

What did everyone talk about over dinner tonight?

 

[TransformedinChrist]

Our table manners involves sometimes no table. We talk ALOT the Bible and what God is doing in our lives individually. We pray at every meal. Sometimes it's for Thanksgiving for our food and other times we pray for individuals that have come to mind as we bow our heads. Meals are an intimate time to engage with each other. My daughters cook for me as I am immobile. Appreciation is overwhelming that they take such good care of me. My fiancé in turns comes over [visits] to bring meals for [them and pre made meals for me] leaves them wrapped and in the fridge. Mostly my oldest is in the kitchen creating new things so when she does my youngest is doing a happy dance! Lol. This weekend my oldest is making stuffed peppers and scalloped potatoes for my fiancé and my youngest daughter. Rudeness would be being insensitive, having an attitude, not saying please or thank you, not showing gratitude for the incredible amount of work my oldest puts in to make a lovely meal. My youngest does the dishes - dishes are all day multiple times a day because I eat almost every 2 hours. I cannot do heavy LARGE meals. Then the PSWs come and do a bit that are in the sink.

My oldest LOVES when people enjoy her cooking. She makes muffins, pita breads, she is always dreaming of her next creation or recipe she's going to do.

Sometimes out goes out to specifically get the ingredients no matter how tired she is. She always puts forth such an incredible effort.

Meals here are a labor and sacrificial love - doesn't matter if she's been up all am with me with heart issues or pain or other. She makes a commitment that her family is nourished and fed.

 

[Lanolin]

My parents never talk about God
If I try to talk about God, they won't believe me.

When I'm out with other people, I consider it rude if...they are rude to the staff who are waiting on them, txting on their phones or talking on it while you are having a meal with them, or commenting on the way you eat, complaining about the food or being pushy.

I think food is important but I am not a gourmand who is extremely fussy, and if someone is vegetarian or can't or won't eat a certain food I respect that and don't try and force feed them or insist they have a drink or the same things I am eating. Water is perfectly acceptable to drink with a meal but not everyone requires an entire glass of water if the food is sufficiently moist or they are drinking soup! (this is why 'combos' can be a false economy, often you don't need to drink a huge cup of soda with everything)
I think its good manners to serve others who are unable to help themselves but be mindful of portion size. I find some restaurants give portions that are way too large and a lot of food gets wasted. You can always have seconds if you keep portions smaller. Likewise if food is lacking in taste you can always add salt and pepper, ketchup or other condiments (they should be there)
People who expect others especially children who have small stomachs to eat EVERYTHING on their plate are a bit misguided. I find that is why european restaurants have separate 'kiddie size' menus. Because they don't actually share communally a meal like the rest of the world does. Everyone has their own separate meals on seperate plates and pays for it separately and its just different from where you can just take a bit of what you like and leave enough for everyone else. But that may be why there's an obesity problem when people actually don't know when to STOP eating (after you feel full). Children need to eat more often and in smaller portions than adults, but once they reach adult hood should be able to handle 3 complete meals a day. However with the world being the way it is, and there not being time set aside for meals, guess what happens. Its snack city, and many christians aren't thanking God for the snacks they can eat though the day to sustain them (Jesus got told off by Pharisees for snacking on corn) but they might still make a big deal about certain special meals.

When I'm working actually the most important meal for me is actually morning tea, (I get 20 minutes) because I am working EVERY lunch hour. I can't eat my lunch in 10 minutes and then supervise the library and food and drink are not allowed in the library. This is when I wish at schools they had more break times in between periods and a proper full leisurely lunch maybe once a week. Hungry or hangry children aren't the best learners, they just get told to wolf down their meals as quickly as they can and thats not healthy either. Lunch lines can be long!

I also think people who insist you stay at the table for hours AFTER they have finished a meal in a busy restaurant don't respect others who are also waiting for a table and are hungry - which is why some restaurants had to put time limits on table reservations.

Anyway. I am sure there's probably more to learn in respect of table manners - talk to any wait staff who work in hospitality and they'll sure to tell you some stories!

 

[LearningToLetGo]

When I'm out with other people, I consider it rude if...they are rude to the staff who are waiting on them

You can tell a lot about people by how they treat people they feel are beneath them. For example, I once had a colleague who would kiss a** to his boss while demeaning and cursing waiters at the local restaurant. I learned quite quickly to avoid that man for his duplicity angered me. I much prefer someone who is forthright to those with power and overly polite to those without it.

 

[Lanolin]

You can tell a lot about people by how they treat people they feel are beneath them. For example, I once had a colleague who would kiss a** to his boss while demeaning and cursing waiters at the local restaurant. I learned quite quickly to avoid that man for his duplicity angered me. I much prefer someone who is forthright to those with power and overly polite to those without it.

That's terrible
I have dated a few times and I notice that (for woman) I can kind of tell a man by his table manners whether there is going to be a second date. Not that I expect anything fancy but...I can sort of tell by their table manners

eg. being polite or rude to wait staff
are drinks more important to him than the meal or is it the food?
allergies or intolerances how do they deal with food they can't eat?
Do they order for you or allow you to choose?
Do they share?
Appreciation of food, do they try new things or always order the same?
Paying bill, take turns or go dutch? Or leave their wallet at home? Complain about the price? Does he comment on how much food you should eat and treat you like a child?

I guess I'm judging food compatibility. Like, say if I'm expected to cook, is it more important the food is on time or is he patient enough to wait. Does he have gourmet tastes, appreciative or has no tastebuds and will eat anything. Is he a glutton?? lol

 

[Lanolin]

hmm was at a fast food McDonalds dinner and was so hungry cos I hadn't had time to properly eat at school (first day back) that I would eat ANYTHING to stave off hunger, even though its now costs an arm and a leg AND the fries they serve are soggy and going cold. But I was too tired to complain, maybe it serves me right for not making my own lunch in the morning when I barely have any time to do that or fix anything in the staffroom because then you are using precious cutlery to do it. Which has to be washed.

And I couldn't buy anything from the student cafe because the two staff members there were flat out making student lunch orders, last time I tried to buy something when they are busy one bit my head off for interrupting them. However if I walk up to the road cafe that takes precious time away from sitting down and enjoying my meal in 15 minutes. Sometimes I just cant stomach what gets served in lunch bars, can't eat sweet things, and the savoury things need to be hot not lukewarm.

What do others do? Eat leftovers? Microwave food? Liquid lunch? Cereal? I notice teachers just eat cereal for morning tea or a yoghurt or a jar of salad. But I need to eat something freshly cooked.

I just end up eating snack food like potato chips, crackers and cheese and fruit I find fallen on the ground. At the moment it's feijoas. I feel like I should just stock up on a weeks worth of microwavable soup in the staff room fridge like I did at my old school. If there's not a queue to use the microwave.

What I'd love is homemade soup that's already made waiting for me at lunchtime. Why does nowhere do this. Why don't schools ever serve soup for lunch? Especially in winter?

 

[Lanolin]

I'm going to suggest a school staffroom personal chef/maitre d who can make all our morning teas and lunches for us, and bring cups to tea to the classrooms for the teachers. Why not. Otherwise, next year I will do the read 7 books and have free pizza challenge again. I've got to have at least one hot lunch a week.

 

[bobinfaith]

I was thinking of table manners (or lack of) as I was having dinner.
Do you have table manners in your household?
What about when you go to a restaurant?
Is there certain things you always do, and things you never do?
Is there someone who's always telling you how to eat or what to do at the table? Or talking through the meal? Do you share food? Do you watch tv or have music while eating? Do you 'dress up'?
How do you set the table? Where do you sit and is it important? Or do you even have a table??
How long do you spend eating or sitting at table?
Do you say 'grace' every single meal? Or make looong prayers?
Who does the dishes?
Do you have problems with cutlery?
What is considered rude?
What happens if you are full or can't finish? Or you are on a diet or fasting? Do you still sit at the table and pretend to eat?
Is dinner and lunch at the same time everyday and how long do you have to eat?

One more question - in american movies set in schools, why does there always seem to be a 'food fight'? Just some fun things to 'chew over'

Hello Lanolin;

Since I can remember we always had dinner as a family up until I was 18. We took turns saying a prayer before eating. My siblings and I were not allowed to speak as Dad and Mom spoke first about each other's day. Then they would converse with us kids. I don't know why they did it that way but it seemed to work out since we were too little to do anything about it. As a teen I didn't care. I was hungry and just wanted to eat. lol!

Dad and Mom cooked the meal so my siblings and I took turns setting and clearing the table. One of us had to do the dishes. We didn't have a dishwasher, we were the dishwashers. I started washing dishes at 9 years old.

It was considered rude if we spoke while Dad and Mom were talking at the table. I don't remember not finishing all my food. I guess our parents know how much we could eat. We were taught never to waste food.

Once I asked my parents if I could have ice cream for dinner instead of regular dinner. So they gave my sister and me a half gallon of ice cream each while they had chicken enchiladas. After 5 spoons of ice cream I didn't want anymore because the enchiladas smelled so good. I believe my Dad put the ice cream in the freezer and let us eat regular dinner.

Dad and Mom raised us on table manners at the table, during school lunch or in a restaurant.

When we lived in England we went to Protestant private school. The English teachers had rules that we kids had to abide by while sitting at a table for daily lunch, for example, we prayed before eating and the way we had to use a fork and knife together while eating. They wouldn't let me use just a fork alone. My parents paid for our lunches so we had to eat everything on our plate. I didn't care for custard so when we had it for dessert, I would put a teeny drop in my bowl. My teacher asked me if that was all the custard I was going to eat? I responded, "my parents taught us to always try just a little." It worked! lol!

When we lived in Germany we went to the Officers club quite a bit for lunch after Church. We would exercise the manners taught us when eating at the table.

Overall, I felt pretty good about our family eating breakfast and dinner together. I'm glad they taught us table manners at a young age.

When I turned 18 we weren't having dinner together like we used to. For example, if my Mom made spaghetti and meatballs, everyone served themself when they were ready to eat dinner.

God bless you, Lanolin, and thank you for sharing Table Manners.

 

[Major]

In the fourteen years I've owned a dishwasher it has been used maybe four or five times. In our house the dishwasher serves as a drying rack only. In fact, the dishwasher has been broken for the last four years and it has caused us zero distress.

I have been broken for the past 14 years too, but my wife still makes me do the dishes.

 

[Major]

I'm going to suggest a school staffroom personal chef/maitre d who can make all our morning teas and lunches for us, and bring cups to tea to the classrooms for the teachers. Why not. Otherwise, next year I will do the read 7 books and have free pizza challenge again. I've got to have at least one hot lunch a week.

Do ya think that might cost a little money to do that? TAXES-TAXES-TAXES!

 

[Lanolin]

Do ya think that might cost a little money to do that? TAXES-TAXES-TAXES!

haha
Of course.
But the money could come out of.....the parents who can afford to send their children to this private school. They already paying nearly a years wages for a part time worker for each child with the cost of school fees. And the school has about 800 enrolments each year. So I don't know where that money is going, definitely not to the support staff.

For a ticket to go to the school ball, it's $140.