Wow! You have certainly taken the long, hard road to deal with anger/hate.Anger is a very big and deep topic.... it has many levels, and many traps. It is powerful... and an enormous stumbling block for many people, who may not even be aware of it.
It was actually something that I had to overcome... for me, it served as a type of "protection". Very long story, but sometimes we allow ourselves to hold on to anger or hatred after we've been hurt.. but if we are seeking God in our lives, we MUST let go of it, and learn instead to FORGIVE.
For myself, anger / hate worked like a defense. It allowed me to keep myself distanced from others, so as to feel like I had the control, and not allow myself to feel hurt by others. It was my weapon of choice. And the more you feed it, the stronger it gets.. but I wasn't really in control at all... the anger, hate, and resentment was. And not only did it serve as a "defense" against being hurt... it also kept me isolated from truly feeling any love. And that's not good. You can't know love without being vulnerable to pain, hurt, disappointment, etc.
It took me over 20 years to work through it all. In the end, I had to forgive.. let go of the hate, and find compassion. It was not easy.
If it may be of help for anyone, I wrote a blog post about what I personally learned... not everyone may see things the same, and that's ok... just be aware of how destructive, (and deceiving), it actually is...
Even people of faith, lose their tempers. Personally i keep my temper under control, I do not usually get angry but i become angry with foolish people. Anger can stem from envy and hatred which in emotions can damage relationships and the people that use that emotion in the wrong way. To use it in the right way is to be revolted at circumstances.“Foolish people lose their tempers,
but wise people control theirs.”
Anger is never without a reason,
but seldom with a good one.