M
Mark_18
Guest
Another of Obedience
Well God's been showing me that how I've felt in the very recent past- being mostly a physical depression, has been because of my past disobedience. It's quite pathetic, but very real and encompassing when it's part of what you're going through.
I'm reminded that while I am free, not all things are good for me.
The main thing that messed me up physically, and I'll bet mentally as well, are the workout supplements that I was using. Particularly Nitric Oxide supplements such as 'SuperPump 250', 'NO Shotgun'.... These contain things like big overdoses of some vitamins especially B, different types of acids, and the main part- NO, which causes the vein walls to dialate or something, causing more blood-flow for extreme muscle pumps.
It started with me wanting a shortcut to losing weight and gaining self-esteem and confidence. I went too fast and worked out foolishly. Eventually I just liked the feeling of taking the supps. I would take some and then be too lazy to work out, so I'd sit on the computer and use the induced focus and energy to totally shock and amaze everyone who played against me in Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2! LOL..... And so it became substance abuse. That's what you'd call it right?
God had warned me in a lot of ways, but one cool little sign for me right before I kicked the supplements was this.... The NO supp I was using at the time was this purple powder. I would mix it with water and wuddaya know- I had a purple drink. This was one of those times I'd use the energy to go play the game MW2. Like usual I'd turn the game sound off and play some fast music. I put on a Seventh Day Slumber playlist and started playing.
So visualize- here's my purple drink beside me.... Here's SDS singing over and over "Am I too blind I can't see, it's kiilllinng mee?!".... AND.... I'm usually always on the top of the score table, but strangest thing, I'm having a VERY bad game because this player named "PURPLE_DRANK" (in big purple letters) kept killing me over and over!..... How funny is that, I mean who names himself PURPLE_DRANK? But you know maybe when choosing that name he was being more responsive to the Spirit than I was!
During doing this and ever since, I suffered physical imbalances, stresses, frustrations, and types of depression. It's easy, when you're feeling like that, to believe it's because you're doing something wrong in every moment of the present. You can blame yourself and think that you must fix yourself before you can be healed....
I guess I would say- I got sick because of my disobedience. I stay sick because of my unbelief. (Hey that's good, I'm gonna use that XD)
Please note I do now understand the deeper issues why I was living and acting the way I was. The problem really isn't as simple as not drinking purple drinks. XD...
That SDS song (Burning Bridges) also says:
"Addiction holds the keys to my freedom
Could You take it all away?"
And God is good! I certainly have and do receive all kinds of healing in His presence!
Anyway. Pleeaase - just - be - obedient. :smiley10:
Well God's been showing me that how I've felt in the very recent past- being mostly a physical depression, has been because of my past disobedience. It's quite pathetic, but very real and encompassing when it's part of what you're going through.
I'm reminded that while I am free, not all things are good for me.
The main thing that messed me up physically, and I'll bet mentally as well, are the workout supplements that I was using. Particularly Nitric Oxide supplements such as 'SuperPump 250', 'NO Shotgun'.... These contain things like big overdoses of some vitamins especially B, different types of acids, and the main part- NO, which causes the vein walls to dialate or something, causing more blood-flow for extreme muscle pumps.
It started with me wanting a shortcut to losing weight and gaining self-esteem and confidence. I went too fast and worked out foolishly. Eventually I just liked the feeling of taking the supps. I would take some and then be too lazy to work out, so I'd sit on the computer and use the induced focus and energy to totally shock and amaze everyone who played against me in Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2! LOL..... And so it became substance abuse. That's what you'd call it right?
God had warned me in a lot of ways, but one cool little sign for me right before I kicked the supplements was this.... The NO supp I was using at the time was this purple powder. I would mix it with water and wuddaya know- I had a purple drink. This was one of those times I'd use the energy to go play the game MW2. Like usual I'd turn the game sound off and play some fast music. I put on a Seventh Day Slumber playlist and started playing.
So visualize- here's my purple drink beside me.... Here's SDS singing over and over "Am I too blind I can't see, it's kiilllinng mee?!".... AND.... I'm usually always on the top of the score table, but strangest thing, I'm having a VERY bad game because this player named "PURPLE_DRANK" (in big purple letters) kept killing me over and over!..... How funny is that, I mean who names himself PURPLE_DRANK? But you know maybe when choosing that name he was being more responsive to the Spirit than I was!
During doing this and ever since, I suffered physical imbalances, stresses, frustrations, and types of depression. It's easy, when you're feeling like that, to believe it's because you're doing something wrong in every moment of the present. You can blame yourself and think that you must fix yourself before you can be healed....
I guess I would say- I got sick because of my disobedience. I stay sick because of my unbelief. (Hey that's good, I'm gonna use that XD)
Please note I do now understand the deeper issues why I was living and acting the way I was. The problem really isn't as simple as not drinking purple drinks. XD...
That SDS song (Burning Bridges) also says:
"Addiction holds the keys to my freedom
Could You take it all away?"
And God is good! I certainly have and do receive all kinds of healing in His presence!
Anyway. Pleeaase - just - be - obedient. :smiley10: