Another of Obedience



Another of Obedience

Well God's been showing me that how I've felt in the very recent past- being mostly a physical depression, has been because of my past disobedience. It's quite pathetic, but very real and encompassing when it's part of what you're going through.

I'm reminded that while I am free, not all things are good for me.

The main thing that messed me up physically, and I'll bet mentally as well, are the workout supplements that I was using. Particularly Nitric Oxide supplements such as 'SuperPump 250', 'NO Shotgun'.... These contain things like big overdoses of some vitamins especially B, different types of acids, and the main part- NO, which causes the vein walls to dialate or something, causing more blood-flow for extreme muscle pumps.

It started with me wanting a shortcut to losing weight and gaining self-esteem and confidence. I went too fast and worked out foolishly. Eventually I just liked the feeling of taking the supps. I would take some and then be too lazy to work out, so I'd sit on the computer and use the induced focus and energy to totally shock and amaze everyone who played against me in Call of Duty Modern Warfare 2! LOL..... And so it became substance abuse. That's what you'd call it right?

God had warned me in a lot of ways, but one cool little sign for me right before I kicked the supplements was this.... The NO supp I was using at the time was this purple powder. I would mix it with water and wuddaya know- I had a purple drink. This was one of those times I'd use the energy to go play the game MW2. Like usual I'd turn the game sound off and play some fast music. I put on a Seventh Day Slumber playlist and started playing.

So visualize- here's my purple drink beside me.... Here's SDS singing over and over "Am I too blind I can't see, it's kiilllinng mee?!".... AND.... I'm usually always on the top of the score table, but strangest thing, I'm having a VERY bad game because this player named "PURPLE_DRANK" (in big purple letters) kept killing me over and over!..... How funny is that, I mean who names himself PURPLE_DRANK? But you know maybe when choosing that name he was being more responsive to the Spirit than I was!

During doing this and ever since, I suffered physical imbalances, stresses, frustrations, and types of depression. It's easy, when you're feeling like that, to believe it's because you're doing something wrong in every moment of the present. You can blame yourself and think that you must fix yourself before you can be healed....

I guess I would say- I got sick because of my disobedience. I stay sick because of my unbelief. (Hey that's good, I'm gonna use that XD)

Please note I do now understand the deeper issues why I was living and acting the way I was. The problem really isn't as simple as not drinking purple drinks. XD...

That SDS song (Burning Bridges) also says:
"Addiction holds the keys to my freedom
Could You take it all away?"

And God is good! I certainly have and do receive all kinds of healing in His presence!

Anyway. Pleeaase - just - be - obedient. :smiley10:
Wow , Mark ..... We are certainly on the same page as far as obedience goes and sometimes we have to learn the hard way as all of us our stubborness gets us into a lot of trouble and we think we can do it " OUR WAY " . But as we stumble and fall our way is not the best way and God teaches us . That is all a learning process in the hard knocks of life my son .

But God in His mercy and grace is waiting patiently in the wings to pick us up and put us back on life's journey , showing us that His ways are better than ours and when we are faithful to Him , he draws neigh unto us and what a wonderful feeling to know that as we trust and obey , He blesses us .

Don't beat yourself up , Mark ,. just put your hopes and dreams in Him and He will never fail you . Our old sinful nature will rear it's ugly head but when we put it all under the Blood of Jesus , He satifies our soul and gives us peace.

Blessings to you , my son . Nice to see you back here again at CFS .
I'm reminded that while I am free, not all things are good for me.
That's why it's so important to hear the voice of the Lord each day to guide us in the way He would have us go. We don't know what the day holds but He does and He can even help us prevent from taking a wrong direction or making a bad decision.

Psalm 37:23
The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD: and he delighteth in his way.