The person isnt lost she's a spiritual leader... I agree with what you said.. I have prayed before on the matter but after nothing happened I simply gave up.
Its hard to show respect to someone who doesn't respect you .
In your post, you identified this person as "someone who was supposed to be important to me.. Was kinda mean to me".
I know that no-one can hurt us like someone that is important to us.
The kind of forgiveness and love that the Lord expects of us is based on who we are because of Him, not who the other person is, or how we are treated by them.
I would doubt that this person who you considered important is truly an enemy, but may have intentionally or unintentionally hurt you. It is important that you still treat them with respect. This is part of being mature, both as a person in general, and as a Christian in particular.
Do give the relationship every chance to heal.
In the mean time:
Do not dwell on your hurt.
Do not seek to 'get even'.
In particular, do not complain to people you know in common about how you have been harmed, or try to have them disapprove of that person on your behalf.
School your thoughts about this person to concentrate on the things that made them important to you before. If he/she has another 'side' in the disagreement consider their point of view, even if you continue to disagree.
After a while when you both have had time to think about whatever went wrong, try to renew the relationship, understanding that many relationships change over time.
Here's the thing, I've tried to renew the relationship..she said she did care about that..
Two, I try to forget but its hard when my brothers still go to her church..i hear all abt her and what they did...
So its hard! .. If all ties were cut off I would have easily forgotten...
I really think you dont get that this person doesn't care anything for me and not everyone has a tiny bit of good in them..some people are just plain evil..and for your own sake should be avoided.
Yea, common acquaintances can be difficult. I am not sure whether by 'brothers' you meant family members, or the 'brothers' we have in Christ, but regardless, you may want to quietly tell them that you are still hurting, and although you don't wish anything bad for the other person rather concentrate on other things.
Forgiveness does not mean continuing to subject yourself to personal disrespect, but as much as possible, keep lines of fellowship open and active, and do not let one problematic relationship destroy the fellowship you had with others.
In a situation of my own, when in a social situation with someone with whom I really was having a personal problem, I would give a slight smile and nod, and then turn and converse with someone else. Sometimes they would go out of their way to be confrontational, and I would acknowledge what they said in a non committal way, and tried not to rise to the bait. I was not always successful in keeping my cool, but things went much better when I held my discomfort in check.
I know it can be hard, particularly if the other person is talking to 'your' group of friends, and you have to either join the same conversation, or stand alone, but we learn and grow by succeeding in difficult situations. If you can stand this, others will respect you for not letting her get to you.
Remember, you do not have to beat her in some kind of competition for the approval of others.
I have put 'Pancakes' on my prayer list. I don't know enough to specify what solution the Lord should provide for you, But I am confident He know your situation.
Unforgiveness turns into cancer 30-40 years later...
Job 33:19-22 (NET)
All because we don't listen to God.
Job 33:19-22 (NET)
Or a person is chastened by pain on his bed, and with the continual strife of his bones, so that his life loathes food, and his soul rejects appetizing fare. His flesh wastes away from sight, and his bones, which were not seen, are easily visible. He draws near to the place of corruption, and his life to the messengers of death.
All because we don't listen to God.
Yes, Pancakes needs to forgive. For her sake. For her growth.
But forgiveness does not come easily for many believers. We wrestle with our hurt ego, and do not seem to make much progress. We read the scriptures and see that this the Christian way. Well wishing friends may give wise counsel that forgiveness is what Christ expects, and that is true. They may say that forgiveness of others helps us understand in small way God’s forgiveness of us, and that is also true.
When we try to put this into practice, we find that we get in our own way. It’s like the old illustration of trying _NOT_ to think of pink elephants. As soon as we try, we are thinking of pink elephants. We do not know how to get out of the way and let the Holy Spirit heal _us_, and then any external relationships. As Christians, we may then fear we are not really indwelt by the Holy Spirit, or that that this is impossible. All we can think of is the hurt we feel, and our inability to overcome.
My posts are attempts to encourage her to come at this from another angle. Instead of concentrating on the hurt (which includes trying to forgive/forget on the hurtful action), we need to guide our thoughts away from this area, concentrating on things unrelated to the hurt. If she can remember good things about the other person and concentrate on those, her ego will be less rebellious. If this is not possible, she can concentrate on other things in her life. Hopefully, a problem with a single person will not poison other relationships, but that takes getting used to being generally around the other person and common friends without being confrontational, or interpreting actions and words of the other as attacks (regardless of whether they are).
If we can get our ego to let us concentrate elsewhere, the Holy Spirit can mend our outlook and empower us to truly forgive. Eventually, with prayer & practice, we can find that the forgiveness the Holy Spirit has built within us remains, even if the other person continues to do or say whatever hurt us.
It is much simpler to say than it is to learn, but it is part of being mature in the Lord.
Yep and most Christians, if they really are Christians, I find really don't believe the word of God and for that very reason God says:
Hos 4:6a (KJV)
My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge: ...
Philippians 2:3-4 .........
“Do nothing from selfish ambition or conceit, but in humility count others more significant than yourselves. Let each of you look not only to his own interests, but also to the interests of others.”
Have you done this?
Absolutely not. Has anyone?
But.............."I press forward toward the mark for the prize of the high calling of God in Christ Jesus". (Phil. 3:14).