Calling on the Faithful.

#1
Calling on the Faithful.

Calling on the faithful.
Walk with me, am I alone?
My friends, do any of you atone?
Joy sings from the heavens.
As my heart opens, wider then my eyes
and my mind changes, to the wise.
rays of light shine down on my path
that reveal Your footsteps in the sand
with each of my steps planned
i walk the path, it grows narrow
and more people begin to stray away
on the righteous path, they do not stay
Calling on the faithful
Why do you run?
From the Father and the Son?
The truth, the light
Why is it you feel the need to fight
for what you believed, was right.
Place your trust in His hands
and follow his footsteps in the sand.
Calling on the Lord.
Walk with me, I am not alone.
My Father, I am here to atone.


By: Leap of Faith
 
#2
I'm loving what's behind this... You can definitely tell it's from the heart. Excellent job there. I would try and tighten up the rhythm. When you end of line rhyme schemes, it's important to ensure that the timing and feel of the piece in terms of movement is constant. Great job though, really enjoyed it.
 
#3
Thank you :D

I love writing and I found faith is a great motivation and topic for my writing. Rhyming can get tricky at times though haha, thank you for the input.
 
#4
Thank you :D

I love writing and I found faith is a great motivation and topic for my writing. Rhyming can get tricky at times though haha, thank you for the input.
Hey not a problem. And please, don't take my opinion as anything legit. Ha, I just know what I like and what I would do mold something into my preference... I am by no means an authority. Like I said though, I did enjoy the read.