CAN PAST ADULTEROUS PARTNERS WHO ARE NOW SINGLE MARRY

I saw this posted somewhere on social media and thought mmmmh. This is a contentious one. Please read through to the end. Your perspective is valuable as I am in a marriage counselling group and this is the sort of thing that comes up. We are at the moment reading a guide that prepares ladies for marriage. However this is a perfect example of how disobedience can really hurt a lot of parties. A caution to adultery because at the end it affects more people.

I also really have witnessed interesting relationship dynamics so I thought let me get perspective because God's standard and the reality of the human condition are sometimes not matched. I say that reverently. I too have my own opinion on this too - lets just say I really think human beings must keep God busy sometimes, and I dont mean that irreverently, I just mean from my perspective this is messy. But here it is anyways, how it was posted:

The Christian lady fell away from God into disobedience and then fell pregnant by her boyfriend who was in a committed relationship. The guy then went and got married to his partner. The sidechick took off pregnant and moved continents, elsewhere for many years.

They guys wife divorces him down the line. She marries someone else and is currently still married. She actually gets born again through all of this and marries a bishop. The wife skips towns and starts a whole new life. Single girl also goes and gets married to a scam. Only the guy is single at this point.

With time it turns out that single girl divorces her scam of a relationship.
Both affair partners end up single. She asked me for advice as she really still likes him (affair partner) and he still likes her (affair partner). They have both mended their ways and have done a lot of healing work. Both divorced. Would they be eligible to marry?

What is your perspective on this.
 
Recommendation: As a refresher, anyone wishing to comment, please re-read CFS Rule 3.2d and post accordingly.

Thanks to everyone for your cooperation.



`
 
Rule 3.2d Due to liability concerns, CFS does not, under any circumstances, allow the posting of professional, clinical or psychological advice for members. This is especially enforced in the "Personal" posting areas. Anyone who offers professional, clinical or psychological advice may face warnings or banning from CFS and all posts will be removed. Even those persons who are licensed psychologists or therapists MAY NOT offer professional advice at the CFS Forum or by way of Private Messaging. The staff at CFS recommends that members who need answers should meet with a licensed and insured local Christian Consultant in your home area.

The Christian lady fell away from God into disobedience and then fell pregnant by her boyfriend who was in a committed relationship.

The Christian lady fell away from God and fell pregnant by her boyfriend ( who WAS in a committed relationship?? ) NOT to her??? but in a relationship with another lady?? EITHER way... EVERYONE in this scenerio is BEING disobedient and LIVING in an ACTIVE SINFUL lifestyle.
This does NOT remove their status as CHRISTIAN... however it removes their status of being RIGHT with GOD.



The guy then went and got married to his partner. The sidechick took off pregnant and moved continents, elsewhere for many years.
This guy needs to stay away from WOMEN. :D The sidechick NEEDS to get right with GOD and change her ways.

They guys wife divorces him down the line.
Told ya... This guy is BAD NEWS. :D


She marries someone else and is currently still married. She actually gets born again through all of this and marries a bishop. The wife skips towns and starts a whole new life. Single girl also goes and gets married to a scam. Only the guy is single at this point.

With time it turns out that single girl divorces her scam of a relationship.
Both affair partners end up single. She asked me for advice as she really still likes him (affair partner) and he still likes her (affair partner). They have both mended their ways and have done a lot of healing work. Both divorced. Would they be eligible to marry?

No one in the above scenario has any business getting married... every single relationship is a DISOBEDIENT one.

Hi Mercedes Benz E Class ... WOW... you originally joined in 2013.

I don't know if this is real or not... mind you... I do know that the world is THIS messed up.

I have been married once... It was NOT in a church... and it did NOT last. I was NOT a Christian at the time.
I think that would allow me permission to re-marry provided I did so to a CHRISTIAN man that I was equally yolked with and in a proper CHRISTIAN church with the PROMISE to LIVE a CHRISTIAN MARRIAGE.

HOWEVER.... with the above said.... I have CHOSEN NOT to marry due to the fact that I am unable to TRUST men. For me to get married would be a DISASTER. I have accepted that I do NOT trust men and have chosen to live a CHRISTIAN CELIBATE lifestyle ( which is the ONLY acceptable lifestyle for a non married Christian to live ).

I think the churches have gotten WAY LOST on this issue. I believe that pastors should EXERCISE the RIGHT to REFUSE to marry couples who

a) they do not believe are a suited match
b) are living together before marriage for WHATEVER reason.

MANDATORY counselling should be sought for people who have genuinely errored ( and that does happen ).

ALSO...counselling with a PASTOR for a genuine period of time... to determine whether the couple should be married.

Marriage is taken FAR too casually in my estimation. But then again... I am VERY STRICT with this topic. SO... there you have it... I think I followed the rules... If not... ModeratorTeam ... you have complete permission to remove anything you deem necessary.

WELCOME back to the forums.
 
Last edited:
Good morning, Mercedes Benz E Class;

I find it sad that all these individuals including the Bishop didn't look (earnestly seek the Lord and premarital counsel) before they leaped. This is nothing that God hasn't seen before. We can find examples of broken marriage throughout the Old and New Testaments.

Eventually it all comes down to the "broken affair" man and woman. They feel they have mended their ways and are wondering if they can marry. Before the couple can consider marriage they need to take a long look at their relationship with counseling and what God ultimately says about this couple marrying.

What makes this difficult are too many Churches today that apply their own autonomy on couples remarrying.

I have actually turned down couples who wanted to marry, quickly, after a previous marriage experience of abandonment, infidelity or physical abuse. Is there a sign of God motive or self motive?

I have also married couples when the man or woman got past a Biblically justified divorce such as abandonment, infidelity or physical abuse. But this isn't just a one month worth of sessions. It takes time, a season (6 months to a year) of prayer and sessions before discerning whether the couple is ready to make a new, life long commitment.

The Gospel's teaching of forgiveness and grace gives a re-marriage a new start in life. This is permitted and not sinful but with proper pre-marital ministering, prayer and discernment from God, re-marriages have succeeded.

God bless you, Mercedes Benz E Class.
 
A lovely thank you my brothers and sisters in Christ! It's been a minute. Or two!

So blessed for this space. I remember it as my biblically sound safe spot.

I had read through most of the posts related to my key areas on interest so it kind of went quiet for me.

Then and this is a big THEN the whole CVID thing happened from 2019 end and literally touched us. Not physically by God's grace but economically which by His grace we can recover.

Eitherway I want to personally thank you for your posts. It's invaluable to me as I meet and will meet people touched by the realities of this realm who still hunger after our precious Christ.

I will be sure to pop by the forum rules also.

bobinfaith so happy to read from you again. Thank you always for your word depth.

@inaweofHim truly thanks for taking the time

All in all glad to be back
 
On a side note cause I've missed a lot. Not sure if the fallout from 2019 as in the aftermath of cvd is discussed here. I want to keep with the rules
No longer an issue. Please post as you wish. With all the false narrative and scare tactics in 'some' media over the past several years and the real truth about that man-made virus situation finally coming out, posts about it here are OK as long as Rule 3.2d is followed. (No 'clinical' level medical or psychological diagnosis or advice.)

Welcome back and Blessings.



`
 
I have actually turned down couples who wanted to marry, quickly, after a previous marriage experience of abandonment, infidelity or physical abuse. Is there a sign of God motive or self motive?

I have also married couples when the man or woman got past a Biblically justified divorce such as abandonment, infidelity or physical abuse. But this isn't just a one month worth of sessions. It takes time, a season (6 months to a year) of prayer and sessions before discerning whether the couple is ready to make a new, life long commitment.

The Gospel's teaching of forgiveness and grace gives a re-marriage a new start in life. This is permitted and not sinful but with proper pre-marital ministering, prayer and discernment from God, re-marriages have succeeded.
This is what I'm talking about.... OH MY.BOB..... BOB..... BOB.... Just when I thought I couldn't LOVE you more as my brother.... and you go ahead and say THIS.

THIS is what allows a man and a woman who have a past that has not been obedient to God the NECESSARY HOPE for a brighter future..... and YES... even RE-MARRIAGE if BOTH have truly worked out their issues. I know there is never any guarantee.

In my sharing regarding my own issues... I realized that AFTER looking for love in all the wrong places due to the abandonment of my father... that by the time I became a devout CHRISTIAN... I was so messed up in the trust department that it would literally take a life time of deep healing to be CONSIDERED a marriage worthy woman.
I am delightfully happy as a SINGLE and CELIBATE Christian woman. It's sad that in today's world I have to STRESS the celibate part... but this issue of purity has really taken a down hill turn in the last decades.

Anyways... with all the above said..... Just to set the record straight..... I think BIBLICAL marriage.... in it's TRUEST form.... with both the man and woman seeking God to love each other MORE and MORE is the MOST BEAUTIFUL thing ever created.
I'm just too broken to be able to participate in that covenant.. and that is OK with me. WE can't EXPERIENCE EVERTYTHING. This is something I have surrendered to God.

Mercedes Benz E Class ... As far as I know... talking about the effects of covid is not an issue. It's the causing of strife that comes with the topic of vaccines or no vaccines. There was a very REAL loss of finances and also many people got sick from the virus. This is actually a very good topic in my opinion to be discussing 5 years after the fact.

God Bless you.
 
Just to add my thoughts... King David had an affair with Bathsheba and when she told him she was pregnant, he tried to cover up their sin by bringing her husband home from the war front. Her husband did not want to be at home while his commerads were still out there fighting. After trying for days, David sent him back with a note that ordered his murder. God punished David and Bathsheba and after repenting they were blessed with a child they named Solomon. Fast forward to the new testament and we find the Jewish religious leaders dragging a woman caught in the very act of adultery and asked Jesus what should be done. HE said "Let him that is without sin cast the first stone." after they all walked away Jesus asked the woman where her accuser's were, she told him they left. Jesus said neither do I accuse you go and sin no more.
All this to show that adultery is not an unforgivable sin. It needs to be confessed and repented for and a right relationship with GOD established.
Once this is done AND they go through counseling as BOB suggested, then I think they can indeed marry. God bless you all.
 
No longer an issue. Please post as you wish. With all the false narrative and scare tactics in 'some' media over the past several years and the real truth about that man-made virus situation finally coming out, posts about it here are OK as long as Rule 3.2d is followed. (No 'clinical' level medical or psychological diagnosis or advice.)

Welcome back and Blessings.



`


Thank you for that. May God show Himself as Judge. Avenger. Vindicator. Deliverer over this saga.
 
Mercedes Benz E Class ... As far as I know... talking about the effects of covid is not an issue. It's the causing of strife that comes with the topic of vaccines or no vaccines. There was a very REAL loss of finances and also many people got sick from the virus. This is actually a very good topic in my opinion to be discussing 5 years after the fact.

God Bless you.


I am really blessed by that. Also really blessed by the fact that (although its a bit late and after so much turmoil) that we can freely discuss.

Off the bat when the whole covid thing dawned I knew something was wrong. I remember discussing this with my church ladies group when it dawned. And they were like, no rebellion please. The church is called to obey.

The mandates, the social distancing just seemed wrong for me. The isolation but apart from that when the economies slowed down the impact was really felt. And financially many went down.

The biggest hurt I have from this thing is the coercion and force used to get people to take the juice in the arm. I dont judge anyone. I remember telling my extended family, guys, this thing is not for you. Can a one size medication truly fit all? They never asked a person, are you on other meds, which meds are you on, whats your height, weight and genetic predispositions? The same vx taken by a 12 year old could be taken by a 70 year old? So many questions.

My whole extended, and I mean whole took it. :( I tried to warn them. Today no one talks about it. And I worry the turmoil and self questioning they must be enduring. Noticing that some of them were not well after the fact, it hurts. But I dont know how to heal them because I think they judge themselves the harshest.

This was an aweful thing.
 
Just to add my thoughts... King David had an affair with Bathsheba and when she told him she was pregnant, he tried to cover up their sin by bringing her husband home from the war front. Her husband did not want to be at home while his commerads were still out there fighting. After trying for days, David sent him back with a note that ordered his murder. God punished David and Bathsheba and after repenting they were blessed with a child they named Solomon. Fast forward to the new testament and we find the Jewish religious leaders dragging a woman caught in the very act of adultery and asked Jesus what should be done. HE said "Let him that is without sin cast the first stone." after they all walked away Jesus asked the woman where her accuser's were, she told him they left. Jesus said neither do I accuse you go and sin no more.
All this to show that adultery is not an unforgivable sin. It needs to be confessed and repented for and a right relationship with GOD established.
Once this is done AND they go through counseling as BOB suggested, then I think they can indeed marry. God bless you all.

Thank you for taking the time
 
I am really blessed by that. Also really blessed by the fact that (although its a bit late and after so much turmoil) that we can freely discuss.

Off the bat when the whole covid thing dawned I knew something was wrong. I remember discussing this with my church ladies group when it dawned. And they were like, no rebellion please. The church is called to obey.

The mandates, the social distancing just seemed wrong for me. The isolation but apart from that when the economies slowed down the impact was really felt. And financially many went down.

The biggest hurt I have from this thing is the coercion and force used to get people to take the juice in the arm. I dont judge anyone. I remember telling my extended family, guys, this thing is not for you. Can a one size medication truly fit all? They never asked a person, are you on other meds, which meds are you on, whats your height, weight and genetic predispositions? The same vx taken by a 12 year old could be taken by a 70 year old? So many questions.

My whole extended, and I mean whole took it. :( I tried to warn them. Today no one talks about it. And I worry the turmoil and self questioning they must be enduring. Noticing that some of them were not well after the fact, it hurts. But I dont know how to heal them because I think they judge themselves the harshest.

This was an aweful thing.

Good morning, Mercedes Benz E Class;

Your feelings and testimony are heart felt by me. This Covid thing is now being revealed as to how much was truth versus false theories.

The county where we live mandated all Churches be shut down for months in 2020 and our worship services took place via ZOOM, a video app. I was also doing visitations online.

I noticed the divorce rate decreased a bit during this period, not just in 2020 but for the next 3 years. Temptations of infidelity decreased. Yes, men and women confess their deepest temptations to the Pastor.

Weddings were reduced to a small exchange of vows until the time when the couple could plan a bigger celebration later.

Thank
you, Mercedes, for sharing and may God bless you, sister.
 
Good GRIEF..... pink =girl and.... blue =boy. .... SO sorry... I thought Mercedes was male..... Shaking my head.

No worries, In Awe of Him;

There were times in the past when members thought I was a chick.
bobin faith.

One member read my post exclaiming "brimstone and fire, doom and gloom," and he responded with yes ma'am!

🤜😎 lol!!!
 
Good morning, Mercedes Benz E Class;

Your feelings and testimony are heart felt by me. This Covid thing is now being revealed as to how much was truth versus false theories.

The county where we live mandated all Churches be shut down for months in 2020 and our worship services took place via ZOOM, a video app. I was also doing visitations online.

I noticed the divorce rate decreased a bit during this period, not just in 2020 but for the next 3 years. Temptations of infidelity decreased. Yes, men and women confess their deepest temptations to the Pastor.

Weddings were reduced to a small exchange of vows until the time when the couple could plan a bigger celebration later.

Thank
you, Mercedes, for sharing and may God bless you, sister.


Thanking you Bob.

Yes to lower divorce because couples couldnt run away. I think also just for us, staying at home all day doing mundane things, gardening, cooking, reading - being in each other's spaces constantly. As bad as it was it was a necessary break, we needed to relax.

I love that the weddings took a better turn, more intimate and family centred. They were constantly so materialistic. I have to be honest I started not responding to invites firstly because they would pick some location far awa (that you would have to entirely finance) and then a gift would still be in order. The couples that got married around this time, it was touching because the wedding had literally 20 guests. One couple had saved a huge chunk for their wedding and when COVID came they saw it as an opportune time to not part with all that money. They spent something ridiculous like 1% of their budget. Imagine that. Weddings cannot be more invested than the actual marriage.
 
Back
Top