Not at all. We lost a twin and when we went to get my wife checked out and cleaned out there was a heart beat - we didn't know we had twins. Things happen, it doesn't mean YOU did anything wrong and it also doesn't mean God didn't act on your behalf. There are mysteries that will never be understood while on this planet. You just keep praising God and thanking Him. You just don't know. Take comfort in that He is in control.
Now, I too have been depressed in the past and I really wrestled with it, until I took on the word of God as truth and who I am in Christ. I was too busy focusing on me and my problems instead of focusing on Jesus. I wasn't taking captive the thoughts, 2 Cor 10:5, and buried feelings deep inside me, Prov 18:8. You have all the faith you're ever going to have, Romans 12:3. What we need is wisdom, James 1:5. Wisdom is not knowledge - there's lots of that floating around. Wisdom is knowing how to apply the knowledge we have to affect our lives. So we need wisdom to know how to apply the faith we have been given. We must reject all the negative feelings, Rom 6:6, we store in our bodies and renew our minds, Rom 12:2, to think God's way, Phil 4:8. We all wrestle with this, Rom 7:24, just like Paul did, but thank God with our MINDS we serve God, Rom 7:25.
Tomeka: now is the time to
send away (the actual meaning of
forgive) the feelings you have the what you suffered and replace them with thoughts that your child is in heaven enjoying life. It won't be easy, just don't do what Job did and blame God, Job 1:21, where in the end he repented of this wrong, Job 42:5.
Know God and Who He is and hold onto this:
Romans 8:32 (KJV)
He that spared not his own Son, but delivered him up for us all, how shall he not with him also freely give us all things?
*HUGS*