Creative Puns For Educated Minds


Jul 27, 2007
Creative Puns For Educated Minds


1. The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir
He acquired his size from too much pi.

2. I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it
turned out to be an optical Aleutian .

3. She was only a whisky maker, but he loved her still.

4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class
because it was a weapon of math disruption.

5. The butcher backed into the meat grinder and got a little
behind in his work.

6. No matter how much you push the envelope, it'll still be

7. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited
for littering.

8. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in
"Linoleum Blownapart."

9. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.

10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.

11. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.

12. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.

13. Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, 'You stay here, I'll go on a

14. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then, it hit me!

15. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said, 'Keep off
the Grass.'

16. A small boy swallowed some coins and was taken to a
When his grandmother telephoned to ask how he was,
a nurse said, 'No change yet.'

17. A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

18. The short fortune-teller who escaped from prison was
a small medium at large.

19. The man who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
is now a seasoned veteran.

20. A backward poet writes inverse.

21. In democracy, it's your vote that counts.
In feudalism, it's your count that votes.

22. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of

23. Don't join dangerous cults: Practice safe sects!

24. All things cometh to he who waiteth.
Provideth he worketh like crazy while he waiteth!

Pastor Gary

Senior Moderator and Staff Trainer
Staff member
Senior Moderator
Staff Trainer
Oct 29, 2006
Several US locations - seasonally
My Optician fell into his lens grinder and made a 'spectacle' of himself...

Oxymorons (no offense): [ Hey - who you calling a moron? ]

'Military Intelligence'

Pretty Ugly

Alone Together

Appear Invisible

Jumbo Shrimp

Holy War

and -

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

The roundest knight at King Arthur's round table was Sir Cumference.

A thief fell into wet cement. He became a hardened criminal.

The geology professor discovered that her theory of earthquakes was on shaky ground.

Yeah, OK - I'll stop, now...