Dealing with friends and family

Nov 5, 2007
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Michigan
Dealing with friends and family

I've always been a Christian, but as I've said before, I'm new to truly walking in my Faith. After some recent events I've decided to bring my children up in the Lord, confessing prayers over them and teaching them His ways! But I haven't always been this way. Before, I called myself a Christian - but I gossiped, I didn't go to church, I swore, I dwelled on anger and even passed it on to my children. I used the Lords name in vane and sometimes made jokes that today I would consider blasphemy. That is who my friends and family have come to know. I am having a hard time admitting this but I guess my problem is that I need advice on how to let others know that that is not who I am anymore. The reason it's hard for me is because, I guess I'm worried about what they'll think...no...I KNOW I'm worried about it. What's crazy is that I really don't care if I lose them as friends if they can't accept the new me, it's just the part where they realize that I've changed that worries me most. I don't want to hurt their feelings, and I don't want to have to get into a debate about my beliefs against someone who has little or no faith at all. Alot of the people I know think that Christians and other religions hide behind the Bible and don't know how to think for themselves. I'm so new to really being a Christian that I don't really know how to argue my case yet either.

For example, I posted a little blog about the movie The Golden Compass on my website and I got so many people arguing against me saying that I need to read the book to give it a chance before making a judgement based on others opinions. I didn't write it but I so badly wanted to say "You too....try reading the Bible!" I don't feel like I made a powerful argument, I just basically said that I am raising my kids with my values and the plot of killing God goes against all of mine. In addition to the fact that I won't financially support an athiest author. I said alot more but they are all athiests themselves so I guess I offended them by saying that. They also think that people should allow their kids to grow up and make thier own decisions on religion. I just argued that if I don't guide them someone else will and noone will like the outcome.

I guess I'm getting sidetracked...what's new Ha! What I need advice on is handling my friends and family that don't realize just how much I've changed. I'd really rather just not answer their calls or emails but I know that's not right.
 
But I haven't always been this way. Before, I called myself a Christian - but I gossiped, I didn't go to church, I swore, I dwelled on anger and even passed it on to my children. I used the Lords name in vane and sometimes made jokes that today I would consider blasphemy.

Hi again, :) I am not a pastor or counselor just an opinionated housewife...

It doesn't seem you were filled with the Holy Spirit at that time... Since I don't know the details of your salvation, I would suggest you listen to "True and False Conversion" at this website...

http://www.wayofthemaster.com/learntoshare.shtml

You may have simply behaved the way you did because you were not actually saved,

or did not have the proper tools like the Holy Spirit the GREAT HELPER in the Christian life... Without Him we are all lost... and none can live the Christian Life.:)

I am not saying we no longer sin when we are saved, but I don't hear of the fruits of salvation in your testimony...

However, I know the Lord is with you, or you would not be confessing and the light or understanding of who you used to be would not occur to a non-believer:D
So you my sister are on the right boat;)

I guess my problem is that I need advice on how to let others know that that is not who I am anymore.

They will know you by your fruit not by your speech...
  1. Matthew 7:16
    You will fully recognize them by their fruits. Do people pick grapes from thorns, or figs from thistles?
  2. Matthew 7:20
    Therefore, you will fully know them by their fruits.
  3. Luke 3:8
    Bear fruits that are deserving and consistent with [your] repentance [that is, conduct worthy of a heart changed, a heart abhorring sin].
  4. 2 Corinthians 9:10
    And [God] Who provides seed for the sower and bread for eating will also provide and multiply your [resources for] sowing and increase the fruits of your righteousness [ which manifests itself in active goodness, kindness, and charity].
  5. 2 Corinthians 13:5
    Examine and test and evaluate your own selves to see whether you are holding to your faith and showing the proper fruits of it. Test and prove yourselves [ not Christ]. Do you not yourselves realize and know [thoroughly by an ever-increasing experience] that Jesus Christ is in you--unless you are [counterfeits] disapproved on trial and rejected?
  6. James 3:17
    But the wisdom from above is first of all pure (undefiled); then it is peace-loving, courteous (considerate, gentle). [It is willing to] yield to reason, full of compassion and good fruits; it is wholehearted and straightforward, impartial and unfeigned (free from doubts, wavering, and insincerity).
  7. Galatians 5:22
    But the fruit of the [Holy] Spirit [the work which His presence within accomplishes] is love, joy (gladness), peace, patience (an even temper, forbearance), kindness, goodness (benevolence), faithfulness,

  8. Yes, I am a bonified Bible Thumper:dance:
The reason it's hard for me is because, I guess I'm worried about what they'll think...no...I KNOW I'm worried about it.

As a Christian ( though I know as a woman this is very hard to do ) you walk by the Word not by your feelings... Your feelings will sometimes decieve you...
  1. Matthew 6:27
    And who of you by worrying and being anxious can add one unit of measure (cubit) to his stature or to the span of his life?
    Matthew 6:26-28 (in Context) Matthew 6 (Whole Chapter)
  2. Matthew 6:31
    Therefore do not worry and be anxious, saying, What are we going to have to eat? or, What are we going to have to drink? or, What are we going to have to wear?Matthew 6:30-32 (in Context) Matthew 6 (Whole Chapter)
  3. Matthew 6:34
    So do not worry or be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will have worries and anxieties of its own. Sufficient for each day is its own trouble.
    Matthew 6:33-34 (in Context) Matthew 6 (Whole Chapter)
See, even Jesus own Words are not to worry... So walk on that...

What's crazy is that I really don't care if I lose them as friends if they can't accept the new me, it's just the part where they realize that I've changed that worries me most. I don't want to hurt their feelings, and I don't want to have to get into a debate about my beliefs against someone who has little or no faith at all. Alot of the people I know think that Christians and other religions hide behind the Bible and don't know how to think for themselves. I'm so new to really being a Christian that I don't really know how to argue my case yet either.

Yes, you have a sincere and tender heart I see... That will be used by the Lord for His purpose...

I maybe wrong ... I hope one of the other children here have Biblical verses that can help you...

I know that you will not be able to convince anyone of your passion now... They will simply watch you over your struggles and trials in life and observe your behavior... See they are looking for fruits in your life not leaves... So it will take time... I only discounted 1 person in my life, the others have remainded friends...
Though none have come to know the Lord as yet...

For example, I posted a little blog about the movie The Golden Compass on my website and I got so many people arguing against me saying that I need to read the book to give it a chance before making a judgement based on others opinions. I didn't write it but I so badly wanted to say "You too....try reading the Bible!" I don't feel like I made a powerful argument, I just basically said that I am raising my kids with my values and the plot of killing God goes against all of mine. In addition to the fact that I won't financially support an athiest author.

Good for you, I agree...:D

I said alot more but they are all athiests themselves so I guess I offended them by saying that. They also think that people should allow their kids to grow up and make thier own decisions on religion.

They are soooooooooooo Wrong... You would never allow a child to make up their own opinion about when to cross a street or if they get educated, or how they will dress, or if they go see a Doctor ect...

I just argued that if I don't guide them someone else will and noone will like the outcome.

You are sooooooooooooooooo right, You have wisdom:amen:

I guess I'm getting sidetracked...what's new Ha! What I need advice on is handling my friends and family that don't realize just how much I've changed. I'd really rather just not answer their calls or emails but I know that's not right.
Well leave that up to the Lord... It depends on the friends... If they accept your beliefs and your changes then they are your friends...
If they mock and redicule you they were never your friends...

Yes, the Father is with you...
 
Sep 9, 2007
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I can't always win arguments. Often times people get the better of me. But I know why I'm a Christian. I'm a Christian because I desire to know God more than anything, and I yearn for more out of this life. All I can do is be honest with myself, and this is where my heart leads me. Jesus' words fill me with hope and peace. Atheists might argue there is insufficient proof for all of this, but that never means that faith is unjustified. Life is a mystery, and one will always be justified in seeking to know and have a close relationship with God, as well as loving and caring for others. Those are Jesus' two great commandments, simple yet extremely powerful. They are the rock in which my faith remains secure.

I'm sorry if people end up being offended by you or angry at you for what you believe in or how you've changed. I think that if you're like Jesus and still show unconditional love and caring for them, than they will eventually come around and respect you and your beliefs. People are often angry because theyre insecure and afraid of what they don't know, but when they see you're a genuinely nice and caring individual, they'll come around. Good luck with your friends and family:)
 
Aug 27, 2007
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www.myspace.com
For some of your friends & family, just seeing the difference will make them ask questions. Others may have to hear your testimony.

The biggie is to not deny who you were. Acknowledging it will remind them of how different you are now. Ignoring it will look like hypocrasy.

Just tell them in laymans terms what has changed for you, and why. Throwing a lot of cliche' Christian speach into it will not help, it may have the opposite effect.

The danger here is seeming "holier-than-thou" to those who really know you, and what skeletons you have hiding in your personal closet.

Good luck! Don't be discouraged...remember even Jesus was not believed by his own townspeople.

Mark 6:3 "Where did this man get these things?" they asked. "What's this wisdom that has been given him, that he even does miracles! 3Isn't this the carpenter? Isn't this Mary's son and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas and Simon? Aren't his sisters here with us?" And they took offense at him.
 
Nov 5, 2007
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Michigan
Beloved: I tried to quote but it didn't copy the part that I have questions about. I guess I'm not understanding what you are saying by "I don't hear the fruits of your salvation in your testimony." I am trying to be careful with my wording because I know how easy it can me to misunderstand tone when words are written and not said but I want to ask if you are saying that you think that I may not truly be saved and that what I am experiencing is a false conversion?

I am still learning and still very new to this. I believe that we all start out this way. Some of us are blessed with parents that raise us with the Word and some of us aren't. I was just not as blessed, but I am sincerely trying. More than trying, because just trying isn't enough I am giving my life to God and I give my children to Him. What I am experiencing is real, perhaps you can't see or hear that because I am too new to even know how to portray it but that is why I am here, and it is why I go to church and read my Bible...because I have so much to learn.

I hope my words are read the way they are intended and not as though I think I know more than you - I know that's not true. I am more in a sense asking for more guidance from you rather than you just saying that mine is a false conversion because so far you have not heard the fruits of my testimony.

I'm going to post this now...after over an hour of trying to word it right, it still comes off the wrong way. I'll just pray that you receive it the way it is intended. God Bless....oh and I love the scriptures you attached about not worrying!!
 
Nov 5, 2007
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Michigan
Oh and I wanted to add...

At this point I actually don't know if I really am saved or not. I meant to post this as a separate topic but it seems to fit here. I was water baptized years ago at a different church than the one I currently attend. Afterwards a group of women surrounded me and began speaking in tongue and told me that if I didn't not speak in tongue immediately after my baptism than the I have not recieved the Lord and I am not truly saved. Well, I didn't speak in tongue. I am also concerned because at that time in my life I wasn't fully committed to walking with the Lord and I committed alot of sin. So my question is, should I be baptized again? Do I need to be or does one baptism last a lifetime....oh that makes me sound stupid but I really don't know. And, is it true that you MUST speak in tongue in order to be accepted by Christ? If so, how?? Thank you.
 
Aug 27, 2007
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Oh and I wanted to add...

At this point I actually don't know if I really am saved or not. I meant to post this as a separate topic but it seems to fit here. I was water baptized years ago at a different church than the one I currently attend. Afterwards a group of women surrounded me and began speaking in tongue and told me that if I didn't not speak in tongue immediately after my baptism than the I have not recieved the Lord and I am not truly saved.
This is a false teaching. Not all who are filled with the HS will speak in tongues...

Well, I didn't speak in tongue. I am also concerned because at that time in my life I wasn't fully committed to walking with the Lord and I committed alot of sin. So my question is, should I be baptized again?
This is between you & God. Has He asked you to do it?

Do I need to be or does one baptism last a lifetime....oh that makes me sound stupid but I really don't know. And, is it true that you MUST speak in tongue in order to be accepted by Christ? If so, how?? Thank you.
No noe can tell you if you're truely saved or not. It is between you & Jesus. Only He knows your heart.
 
:amen:Oh ! MY Dear sister, you are so right about posting and sometimes not making ourselves understood and the other things you said...

I'll try to explain more this evening, got to get my walk in, and then comes cooking supper... My husband has the computer for the next few hours, until he falls asleep...

WHat ever the case the Lord is with you...

Father Bless you
angela
 
I've always been a Christian, but as I've said before, I'm new to truly walking in my Faith.

I write everything in love and i prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide me :) and I believe the Father, Christ , and His Holy Spirit is definitely with you on your path in His Kingdom...

Could you expound on " I've always been a Christian" before I make a comment, Please?

After some recent events I've decided to bring my children up in the Lord, confessing prayers over them and teaching them His ways!

You are very admirable to be doing these blessed things over your children, you have God's Wisdom in these things, my daughter...

But I haven't always been this way. Before, I called myself a Christian - but I gossiped, I didn't go to church, I swore, I dwelled on anger and even passed it on to my children. I used the Lords name in vane and sometimes made jokes that today I would consider blasphemy.

The above behaviors are not the Fruits of the Spirit, that doesn't mean you are not saved,

Just you may not have been Yet filled with your GREATEST FRIEND and HELPER ( The Holy Spirit or Ghost ) to walk the Christian Faith...

I was one who did the things you speak above, I didn't even know there was a Holy Spirit since I was not raised in any Church...

It was actually many years later I understood... We cannot live the Christian life without Him, we will fall every time and live in a state of frustration, we always return to our old ways...

This was probably what was happening to you... Isn't He Wonderful, He never gives up on us, even when we are unfaithful, He is Faithful and lovingly patient...

About the web site and F/T Conversion... It points out clearly why you need to be saved... Not to improve your lifestyle, but to be saved from the wrath to come to the un=believers...

Little is spoken of repentence in witnessing to unbelievers..........,

When most alter calls are made these days, it's basically, Jesus will Improve your Life, Marraige, Family, Finances, and give you life eternal... Plus Peace, Love, lasting Happiness...

And then the trials and tribulations comes, like you and your family and friends... Many then fall away...

The whole truth is not given in some Churches, I don't think it on purpose, it's just the way the Churches Culture has deveated from the Whole truth over the years...

with much love and care, Bless you and your family
angela
 
Beloved: I tried to quote but it didn't copy the part that I have questions about. I guess I'm not understanding what you are saying by "I don't hear the fruits of your salvation in your testimony." I am trying to be careful with my wording because I know how easy it can me to misunderstand tone when words are written and not said but I want to ask if you are saying that you think that I may not truly be saved and that what I am experiencing is a false conversion?

I am still learning and still very new to this. I believe that we all start out this way. Some of us are blessed with parents that raise us with the Word and some of us aren't.

Yes, I sooo agree, I was raised by an atheist father and a non-christian mother... I didn't want to read the Bible because I thought it was a very boring History of the Catholic Church when I was a teenager...

I was just not as blessed, but I am sincerely trying. More than trying, because just trying isn't enough I am giving my life to God and I give my children to Him. What I am experiencing is real, perhaps you can't see or hear that because I am too new to even know how to portray it but that is why I am here, and it is why I go to church and read my Bible...because I have so much to learn.

You are definately in the right place... These forums are heavily moderated unlike other so call Christian Forum out there...

And there are TRUE Christians here...

Some are very mature in the Faith...

I am still learning here in this Forum, through friends, the Church , the Spirit of Course, even though I've been saved for about 30 years...

May you grow through His Spirit as great a passion as He has for you...

Love and many blessings
angela
 

violet

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May 13, 2007
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just1lily.blogspot.com
Bless you for giving your life to God.
I truly respect that you are so honest about your past sins.
I don't mean that one needs to confess to anyone but God, but the fact that you chose to share says alot about your honesty.
I feel being a Christian is an ongoing lesson throughout life.
Another important thing~ Your behavior and attitude will speak far more of God in your life than any words ever will, with family and friends.

But stand your ground.
If others feel children should choose for themselves, so what.
You have a right to YOUR beliefs and you stick by them!
I have my individual beliefs and I know sometimes others assume I think I am holier or better.
Nope.
Just as Jesus, I love everyone and want them all saved.
I don't necessarily 'like' everyone but that is not the same as love.
Love is about truly caring about one's soul and never wanting any harm to come to them.
That is Christ's love.

When you feel convicted over something, such as that book/movie, believe in yourself; there will always be those who disagree and argue, always~

Put all your faith in God and make pleasing HIM your priority, not friends and family and people online.
God first!
You are in my prayers.
Find your strength in God and seek the Truth and you shall find it~
Love,
Violet

 
Oh and I wanted to add...

if I didn't not speak in tongue immediately after my baptism than the I have not recieved the Lord and I am not truly saved.

You will probably recieve different opinions here about the Speaking in Tongues as proof that you are saved...

I speak in Tongues but I never believed it was a sign of my salvation... I do not force it ... It either comes or it doesn't...

I believe in the writings of Paul who teaches that Tongues are an earthly language, as well as a heavenly language of Angels so to speak...

Yes, I have attended Churches that believe like these group of women you mentioned...

When you have some time surf over to the

www.Biblegateway.com

and click on the Keyword section and you favorite Bible version, and type in tongues for the New Testament... Study all the references and come to your own conclusion...

So my question is, should I be baptized again? Do I need to be or does one baptism last a lifetime....

If your understanding was that your babtism was 1st repentence, your desire to die to yourself, and be cleansed of your sins, to prepare the way for the Lords Infilling then I don't think you need to be re-babtised...:D

Others here may have a different opinion or additional information... So please jump in family...:israel:


oh that makes me sound stupid ...

No! it doesn't, if you don't ask, study and submit to the Holy Spirit then how will you learn anything???

You don't think your children are stupid because they ask questions, neither does your Father...

Much Love my sister,
angela
 
Nov 5, 2007
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Michigan
I've always been a Christian, but as I've said before, I'm new to truly walking in my Faith.

I write everything in love and i prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide me :) and I believe the Father, Christ , and His Holy Spirit is definitely with you on your path in His Kingdom...

Could you expound on " I've always been a Christian" before I make a comment, Please?

Yes, I say this because I have always KNOWN Jesus Christ was our Lord and Savior. My parents didn't go to church but I knocked on the doors of my neighbors and asked them if they were going to church and if I could come with. Because of this, I went to many churches but never had one of my own. I was hungry for the Word as a child and I felt a strong calling for it. I may have mentioned somewhere else on here that I suffered from child abuse throughout my life - I now believe that this happened for two reasons, one because my parents didn't pray and confess over me to allow the Lords righteous path to become my own, instead they left me for Satan. And second goes right with that, Satan had me, an easy target and he put sexual abusers in my life and my father became drunk and became abusive in other ways. Although I always believed and hungered for the Lord, my own bitterness was in His way. Satan whispered in my ear "Why would the Lord allow these things to happen to an innocent child" I felt alone and forsaken. I never feel that I turned from God I just let my anger stop His shining in my life. I couldn't forgive because the thought that I was the one that shoud do something enraged me. Then by His sweet Mercy I saw that I was the one who needed repentance for the sinful feelings I was holding on to - those had in fact become my bread and butter, I fed off the hate everyday and allowed THAT to guide me. I believe that the day I saw all of this was the first time I was ever touched by the Holy Spirit and I will NEVER turn back! :dance:
 

violet

Inactive
May 13, 2007
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just1lily.blogspot.com
I've always been a Christian, but as I've said before, I'm new to truly walking in my Faith.

I write everything in love and i prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide me :) and I believe the Father, Christ , and His Holy Spirit is definitely with you on your path in His Kingdom...

Could you expound on " I've always been a Christian" before I make a comment, Please?

Yes, I say this because I have always KNOWN Jesus Christ was our Lord and Savior. My parents didn't go to church but I knocked on the doors of my neighbors and asked them if they were going to church and if I could come with. Because of this, I went to many churches but never had one of my own. I was hungry for the Word as a child and I felt a strong calling for it. I may have mentioned somewhere else on here that I suffered from child abuse throughout my life - I now believe that this happened for two reasons, one because my parents didn't pray and confess over me to allow the Lords righteous path to become my own, instead they left me for Satan. And second goes right with that, Satan had me, an easy target and he put sexual abusers in my life and my father became drunk and became abusive in other ways. Although I always believed and hungered for the Lord, my own bitterness was in His way. Satan whispered in my ear "Why would the Lord allow these things to happen to an innocent child" I felt alone and forsaken. I never feel that I turned from God I just let my anger stop His shining in my life. I couldn't forgive because the thought that I was the one that shoud do something enraged me. Then by His sweet Mercy I saw that I was the one who needed repentance for the sinful feelings I was holding on to - those had in fact become my bread and butter, I fed off the hate everyday and allowed THAT to guide me. I believe that the day I saw all of this was the first time I was ever touched by the Holy Spirit and I will NEVER turn back! :dance:

Bless you Dear sister.
I too have been through much abuse so I fully understand.
God truly is our only healer, spiritually and mentally and emotionally.
Take your past and try to help others with your experiences~:)
 
I've always been a Christian, but as I've said before, I'm new to truly walking in my Faith.

I write everything in love and i prayed for the Holy Spirit to guide me :) and I believe the Father, Christ , and His Holy Spirit is definitely with you on your path in His Kingdom...

Could you expound on " I've always been a Christian" before I make a comment, Please?

Yes, I say this because I have always KNOWN Jesus Christ was our Lord and Savior. My parents didn't go to church but I knocked on the doors of my neighbors and asked them if they were going to church and if I could come with.

Because of this, I went to many churches but never had one of my own. I was hungry for the Word as a child and I felt a strong calling for it.

Reminds me of Samuel

I may have mentioned somewhere else on here that I suffered from child abuse throughout my life - I now believe that this happened for two reasons, one because my parents didn't pray and confess over me to allow the Lords righteous path to become my own, instead they left me for Satan. And second goes right with that, Satan had me, an easy target and he put sexual abusers in my life and my father became drunk and became abusive in other ways.

Well, I won't go into detail, but I had enough bad experiences with men as a child that I dislike men and never trusted them...The Lord has been slowly healing me of that...

Although I always believed and hungered for the Lord, my own bitterness was in His way. Satan whispered in my ear "Why would the Lord allow these things to happen to an innocent child" I felt alone and forsaken. I never feel that I turned from God I just let my anger stop His shining in my life.

Last years Womens book study revealed that 10 out of the 12 women there had been abused in their childhood

I couldn't forgive because the thought that I was the one that should do something enraged me.
Then by His sweet Mercy I saw that I was the one who needed repentance for the sinful feelings I was holding on to - those had in fact become my bread and butter, I fed off the hate everyday and allowed THAT to guide me. I believe that the day I saw all of this was the first time I was ever touched by the Holy Spirit and I will NEVER turn back!
WOW! I love you Treshay:D... You are one of those very special children of the Lord... I can relate alittle... OK! everyone... I Know every child is special...

Though as a child I knew no Christians, I would sometimes try to convince my atheist father that their was a God... Somehow in my little brain I knew, like you...
 
Nov 5, 2007
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Michigan
WOW! I love you Treshay:D... You are one of those very special children of the Lord... I can relate alittle... OK! everyone... I Know every child is special...

Thank you but no more than any others! As a matter of fact I feel I still have ALOT of work to do before I am worthy of even being categorized with some of you here! My goodness, I've never even read the Bible completely! (I am working on 1John right now though). Yes, we are all special in His eyes.

Though as a child I knew no Christians, I would sometimes try to convince my atheist father that their was a God... Somehow in my little brain I knew, like you...
:jesus-cross: