Desperately Need Faith Help

Izabella the Angel

Izabella the Angel

Hello Everyone!
Just wanted to say something big, so please don't judge because I'm in a very delicate state in my life right now. Please listen and no judgement.

I think I'm losing my Faith. I have started to loose any Faith or belief I have for God now. I hear about this 'Truth' thing all the time on the internet and such but I don't really know what it is, and then I feel like a bad person for not knowing. I feel like I don't know anything about Christianity anymore, and that it's become more of an 'oppressive religion' rather than an enjoyment and choice in my life. I began to think that God just doesn't love me anymore, that He doesn't listen to any of my prayers. I honestly think God doesn't love me, and that he's never with me anymore and doesn't help me in some of my most dreadful times. I think I've started to develop anxiety and depression lately. No, I haven't had it checked out by a psychologist and such, but I told my dad and he thinks I'm doing it to myself. I do think he's kinda right. I'm at school right now, won't say what grade though, and I have been constantly anxious and worried about whether I'll get good grades or not. I do homework up till 10 sometimes even 10:30 at night just worrying about whether I've done something right. I feel like a dumb person and that I could do better. And that's where my depression comes in; I feel like a worthless, undeserving person. There are so many kids who are better than me at school, like smarter, and then I feel like God made me as a dud in life. Just pointless. I've been really down about myself lately.

I always feel like a wicked and bad person. I asked God to trade my wicked heart for one of goodness, and I even asked that the Holy Spirit come to me and bless me with the Fruit's of the Spirit. But I still feel the same, as if nothing happened. I try to create a worthwhile prayer at night but there's nothing to say to Him, and nothing comes to my mind. My prayers are now just like broken records. Very bland and pointless because I've said it already. Even then nothing a say seems to change in life. I prayed for my pet to get better, cause she's sick now, but she's still sick!

I believe I don't deserve anything, nor love nor forgiveness nor mercy, from God anymore. I just can't explain it well, but I have been thinking terrible things (to shy to say what) and they scare me so so much to the point that I sometimes break down in tears. Even when I had quite strong Faith, I've been too shy to say anything before God. I feel like I don't deserve his help or anything in my life. I have been thinking about things that no sane human being would even consider. I don't know if it's because I'm going through a growth stage or something but I feel like I'm beyond a happy, normal person anymore.

What do I do? What can I do? I don't want to see anyone because I'm too shy.

But one question though: Does God truly want to be with me? Does He actually love me and care for? I have seen no proof and I find it hard to believe what the Bible says because my own beliefs get in the way. I find that my beliefs seem more logical and true, like I'm an undeserving person. I just want to know, because my belief in Him is hanging by a thread now. And I don't want to turn away from Christianity because then I have no reason to live and my life would just fall apart. But I guess the one thing that I've come to conclusion is that... I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A CHRISTIAN. I don't deserve any help or love or forgiveness from God because my own opinions about things is something that Christians are highly against. I honestly feel like I'm a fake Christian. But I don't want to be. Please help....
 
Izabella the Angel... When Satan and his workers put their mind to it, they can affect us all in this way. All they need is the slightest excuse to send their negativity our way and prey upon our human weaknesses and this can start to place doubt in our mind about God. However, we are stronger than Satan in this regard because we have God and Christ on our side. Everyone has their own way of dealing with this and everyone will get through it with God's help. We all face the same trials, burdens and temptations in our lives and we are no different in this respect than any other Christian. We are reminded of what Paul said in 1 Corinthians 10:13 (NLT), "13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure."

The negative thoughts that we experience are placed in our path by Satan and his minions. Once we recongnize this, we can ask God, in prayer, to help us get around that negativity and He will be there for us. Remember, however, that God does things on His timetable, not ours. Do not be impatient because God loves all of His children and will assist us in ways that we may not immediately recognize. He does what is best for us in the long term and He builds our strength so we can rebuke Satan's attemts to bring us down.

As Christians, we are subjected each day to the beliefs of others and their take on things. There are as many Christian opinions on Christianity and what it means to be a Christian, as there are denominations. This saturation of differences can overwhelm us at times, so it is our responsibility to both God and ourselves to study God's Word and do our very best to understand His message to us so our own understanding makes sense to us. This takes time, but it gives us a fresh perspective on who we are, how we interact with God and our accdeptance of Jesus Christ as our personal Saviour. When we study God's Word, it also puts up a shield day by day that rebukes Satan's attempts to tear us away from God. With study, the more comfortable that we are in God's Word, the more we see how His love for us is a precious gift and how that gift is our path to Salvation. God will not abandon us - but, we sometimes abandon Him when Satan does his work on us. Be strong, have faith in God's abilities and study His Word as you can, and you will find a new awakening as you better understand what it is to be a Christian. As you understand more and more about God's Message and see how Scripture was directed to us all as His children, you will provide yourself with the proof that you seek. May God Bless...
 
What lead T all of this?

I know how you feel, after alot of faith shaking events...it took me a while to pray again...and I still haven't gotten back to reading.... But

Being Christ like takes time, I used to want to be transformed right then and there...but I find if you do the simplest things like reading and praying ...he will change u bit by bit...

Unusual things will happen in your life..
And I also feel like a dud.. I'm slow and don't catch on to things (when I was working), I'm not the brightest person, and only have one talent which I art...

So I understand how you feel...but God isn't dumb, he knows how much or less grace he gave you,me and the next person...so I feel he's closer to those that are a bit weaker in the eyes of others.

I hope I'm making sense.
 
Making a choice to get into the word on a regular, if not daily basis---even for five minutes a day, and asking God to direct your understanding, and to speak to you in your reading and contemplation on what you've just read---and choosing to believe the word over anything or anyone else that pitches so-called truth to you, will alleviate your confusion and your doubting.

It's a choice, and you can ask God to help you with it, as the man with the son who was demonically afflicted cried out to Jesus below:

Mark 9:23-24
And Jesus said to him, “‘If you can’! All things are possible for one who believes.” 24 Immediately the father of the child cried out and said, “I believe; help my unbelief!”

He will do it!
 
Izabella the Angel said:
Hello Everyone!


What do I do? What can I do? I don't want to see anyone because I'm too shy.

But one question though: Does God truly want to be with me? Does He actually love me and care for? I have seen no proof and I find it hard to believe what the Bible says because my own beliefs get in the way. I find that my beliefs seem more logical and true, like I'm an undeserving person. I just want to know, because my belief in Him is hanging by a thread now. And I don't want to turn away from Christianity because then I have no reason to live and my life would just fall apart. But I guess the one thing that I've come to conclusion is that... I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A CHRISTIAN. I don't deserve any help or love or forgiveness from God because my own opinions about things is something that Christians are highly against. I honestly feel like I'm a fake Christian. But I don't want to be. Please help....
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You can make a deliberate decision to pursue God with all your heart. Go back to the beginning of your salvation(assuming you have made that commitment) and what did the Lord save you from?

Your choice of shyness over help is a great hindrance in finding a solution. I used to be a very shy person, and I still am. If I feel too shy to talk to somebody about my problems, or my walk, I have to ask myself which is more important? Is your walk and eternal relationship with Christ more important than a moment of being vulnerable?

You say you see no proof, and your own beliefs seem more logical. Read Isaiah 55:8-9 You are saying that your thoughts as a created being is more logical and true than the God of All?

I know I don't, and nobody deserves to be a christian. That's why Jesus died on the cross though and grace was shown. If you are a new creation in Christ, if you are a follower of him, you 1) cannot lose that salvation and 2) are covered by the grace and Love of Christ.

Jeremiah 29:13 was written to the exiles that Nebuchadnezzar banished. If you seek God, you will find Him.

Finally, do not listen to your heart. It is deceitful above all things (Jeremiah 17:9) The Lord Loves you, Christ died for you, but He does not force you to follow. Dive into His word, pray, and focus on Him, but you must be intentional about it otherwise you will fall into the deceit of your heart.
 
Thankyou guys so much for your reply. It helps so much to see people for advice. I just don't understand much about Christianity and I can't understand what it actually means to be one. I try to be good, kind and have self control but I feel I have to do something else. I don't know what Jesus wants of me. I have no idea of what He wants me to do and if what I'm doing is good enough anymore. Does it mean to just Love God with all your heart and such and love your neighbour? Is that what it means to be a follower of Christ? What does a follower of Christ do? I want to have a good relationship with God but I don't know much about Him..
 
Izabella the Angel said:
Thankyou guys so much for your reply. It helps so much to see people for advice. I just don't understand much about Christianity and I can't understand what it actually means to be one. I try to be good, kind and have self control but I feel I have to do something else. I don't know what Jesus wants of me. I have no idea of what He wants me to do and if what I'm doing is good enough anymore. Does it mean to just Love God with all your heart and such and love your neighbour? Is that what it means to be a follower of Christ? What does a follower of Christ do? I want to have a good relationship with God but I don't know much about Him..
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We as Christians don't have to be so concerned about what we do, for if we are walking with Jesus and are hearing Him through His word, we will do the things He desires us to do. He doesn't want us to live our lives seeking to do good works for some sort of points, because as we continue in relationship with Him, it grows deeper and deeper, and our lives and works will reflect Him naturally. Our walk with Jesus brings about spiritual strength and maturity on an ongoing, gradual basis as we continue to yield our lives and wills to His will. He is ever so patient with us.

The greatest command that Jesus has given us is to do just what you've mentioned: love God with all your mind and heart (spirit) and love others as you love and care for yourself. As you seek to that, you will conform to God's will and He will drop His plan into your life pretty seamlessly! Just watch! Jesus is crazy in love with you! He wants to be your best friend and constant companion, and to lead you in your life! Let Him and see how He will move in your life and carry you through the rough times, and bless your socks off all the while!
 
Thankyou so much for your reply! I think I have a better understanding of Jesus now. I guess I just have to talk to him more and I may get to know him more too. Thankyou so much for your help. I think I'm alright now. I may have hit the rough patch were I start to believe lies and focus on the before instead of now (if you know what I mean). Thankyou God Bless all your sweet and Samaritan souls!!!
 
Izabella the Angel said:
Thankyou so much for your reply! I think I have a better understanding of Jesus now. I guess I just have to talk to him more and I may get to know him more too. Thankyou so much for your help. I think I'm alright now. I may have hit the rough patch were I start to believe lies and focus on the before instead of now (if you know what I mean). Thankyou God Bless all your sweet and Samaritan souls!!!
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I will be praying that you are able to fit some time in reading your Bible. In Romans 12:2 it says to renew your mind with the Word of God, so that you will be transformed. So when you get hit with those thoughts from the devil that tell you the lies that pull you away or cause you to doubt your faith...you have some Word to fall back on. Something else to remember is that every person needs a spiritual ruler. We are not soverign unto ourselves, meaning we do not have any thoughts of our own. So you are either following the thoughts of the devil or of God. You have to choose. And if you don't keep the Word of God alive in you then you will have a tougher time when attacked by the enemy.

I am blessed to hear that you are feeling better about things...so get some seeds of the Word of God planted in you so that they can grow :)
Blessings
 
@Izabella the Angel
If you want strong Faith then hang around those who have strong faith for you will catch it.
Best starting place is His word - Faith comes by HEARING and HEARING OF THE WRITTEN WORD OF GOD.

Ok now then as you spend time in His written word you will not only Get to know the Father better and Jesus and build your faith BUT you will also learn the ways of our enemy the devil.

Look at your Post......can you find a pattern in there ? Look at the the things you listed that were meant to pull you down or degrade you and get you to believe and speak worthelessness about your self.

One thought and one step at a time is how the devil begins to try and tear you down - this is why we need to do the following DAILY
Galatians 5:16 and Romans 12:2 and 2 Corinthians 10:4-5

Romans 12:2 ....
And be not conformed to this world; but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind that ye may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God

(( Get His word in you each and every day and speak His word each and every day ))

2 Corinthians 10:4-5
4... For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to pulling down strong holds
5... Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ.

(( Begin to practice the words you speak and thoughts you think for our thoughts and words to control how we act or react and believe. Our own words do more do influence our thinking then most of everything else. ))

Galatians 5:16
This I say then, Walk in the Spirit, and ye shall not fulfill the lust of the flesh

(( The more you do the first two the more you will begin to walk in the Spirit and you will be amazed to say the least. ))

All done through the Grace of God - who maketh all grace abound to me. ( 2 Corinthians 9:8 )

This then is when your STRONG FAITH will answer the door when the devil comes a knockin and FAITH wont let him in but coupled with His written word - FAITH will drive that defeated foe away......

Sister we have all been there and if we will be honest with you - more then once.
So shake it off and get His word strong and deep into your core being which is your spirit and written as heart in His word. YOU WILL RISE ABOVE THIS...........

Oh and I am proud of you big time.............you already made the first BIG STEP ......you went looking for help or answers. This SAYS OR SHOWS alot about your God loving heart.
At times it is not going to be easy but if you will stick with it - well my sister it will be the greatest time of your life so far....

I hope this makes sense to you and helps.
God Bless and I am glad yoou are here
Jim
 
Izabella the Angel,
It's easy to allow the enemy to influence your thoughts. Every believer must learn to use the Word. It truly is a sword.
Heb 4:12 For the word of God is living and powerful, and sharper than any two-edged sword, piercing even to the division of soul and spirit, and of joints and marrow, and is a discerner of the thoughts and intents of the heart.
When you have thoughts of how worthless, guilty and undeserving you are, you must use the Word of God to cast down those imaginations and bring every thought captive to the obedience of Christ like 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 says. That's the way we destroy those thoughts. If we dwell on them, it's giving ground to the enemy.
I want to encourage you to know that everyone struggles with their thought life.
Phillipians 4:8Finally, brethren, whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy—meditate on these things.
We are told to think on the things which are true, noble, just, pure, lovely, have a good report, virtuous and praiseworthy. That's the Word of God. That's the measuring stick we are to use. If a thought does not fit one of those listed in Phillipians 4:6, then we must cast it down.
As believers we must put on our armor daily. One piece of the armor is the helmet of salvation. It covers and protects our minds.
Everyone here loves you as our sister in Christ. God loves you as His child. When God created everything He said it was very good. When God created you it is the same, very good. You were created in His image, knows your name and is eager to show His love to you.
Read your bible daily,
Pray daily,
Put on your armor daily.
You will begin to see and sense the peace of God come into and over your life as you do what we have all spoken to you.
 
Thankyou so much everyone! You guys have been so encouraging to me! I believe I already have enough help and encouragement just from your Words and love. I pray for all of you because you all deserve peace and prosperity. Thankyou so much, I think I'm at ease now. But I never thought the Enemy could actually change the way I think. But thankyou so much for warning me as well. GOD BLESS YOUR SOULS!!!
 
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