Does Anyone Know How I Can Not Let This Bother Me?

God is Love said:
Yes I do know why, because it is a coping mechanism of his that he learned from being around my dad. Are you trying to accuse me of something?
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I'm saying that if you know why, you can counsel him to get therapy for it.

We learn communications from our parents.

We can UNLEARN it as well.
 
Dave Lucas said:
I'm saying that if you know why, you can counsel him to get therapy for it.

We learn communications from our parents.

We can UNLEARN it as well.
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Very true, but the person has to be willing to unlearn things. I'm not a counselor but I have talked to him, unfortunately he has no respect for me and won't listen. And even if he did respect me, everything I say goes completely against his beliefs. He isn't saved and only God can change that. I haven't given up on him, I've just accepted at this point in life I am only being hindered in my own progress that I am trying to make in myself by being around him.
 
God is Love said:
Been there had that conversation. Thank you for replying but I don't even want to talk about him anymore. I feel like this whole thread would just turn into me trying to explain my situation and would be 10 pages long before we could address the problem, which is simply, 'how do you love your enemies'? More specifically, what goes on in your head that calms you down when you are angry/frustrated at a person.
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No threats of eviction or anything like that please! That is ample grounds for his behavior.

He is either extremely childish or there is more to his actions. Like abnormal rejection? Where is the father?

Firstly, understand that he is your brother. Not an unsaved person out in the world. You are the first person God would use to reach him...because even though you may not think it, your words DO reach him.

I think he feels isolated. That added to his friends = abnormal behavior. Calling family losers = abnormal!

Something is wrong with him. He is hurt / hurting. I would ask questions in that direction. Explain to him that you and your mom will be there for him until he dies. His friends won't.
 
God is Love said:
Very true, but the person has to be willing to unlearn things. I'm not a counselor but I have talked to him, unfortunately he has no respect for me and won't listen. And even if he did respect me, everything I say goes completely against his beliefs. He isn't saved and only God can change that. I haven't given up on him, I've just accepted at this point in life I am only being hindered in my own progress that I am trying to make in myself by being around him.
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Have you sat down and asked him what he thinks, feels and believes without interrupting him, chastising him or prosthelytising him or without getting angry enough to walk away or argue back?
 
Dave Lucas said:
Have you sat down and asked him what he thinks, feels and believes without interrupting him, chastising him or prosthelytising him or without getting angry enough to walk away or argue back?
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lol this is funny because I am nothing like that. I don't interrupt/chastise/or proselytize. I am the quiet guy, not the argument starter. I only say my beliefs when I feel like i've been given the opportunity or when someone is making me uncomfortable enough to have to speak up. When I get angry it is because he insults me for no reason. Maybe i'm reading all your posts wrong, but it really seems like you want to nail me to the floor as an instigator.
 
God is Love said:
I live with my mom and younger brother and my younger brother is a huge jerk who only cares about himself and says nasty insults to me all the time and is annoying and bullies my mom and is just a horrid person to live with, but unfortunately I don't know any way to keep my cool while i'm around him anymore and at times hate him. I don't want to hate him but I don't know how to think in order to not let him bother me. I have told him multiple times how he comes off to me but he just insults me then, saying things like "you deserve it" or "you will never have friends if you can't take a joke" (his "jokes" are insults btw, like when he walks into my room when me and my mom are talking and interrupts our conversation and then calls us losers). He has no respect for me or my mom and if I could move out I would. I have never been bitter towards him or tried to hurt him, but in the moment when he makes me snap I do hate him and have to leave or risk hurting him. Please help, I can't be alone in having to deal with someone like this. And what's worse is I have to live with him, and he brings over friends who are just as bad as him and I seriously can't take this bs anymore.
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Hello God is Love. i haven't had a chance to read all the comments so apologies if I'm parroting something someone has said already. I really feel for you and the Word instructs us to live peaceably with all men as much as you have within you so I hope your careful not to condemn yourself for the feelings your having. I think the very fact your so open and so concerned about this is such great evidence of the Holy Spirit at work in your heart.

There's never a guarantee that we're going to save or be on good terms with everyone, take Paul the Apostle with Alexander the copper smith, Alexander had done much evil to Paul and Paul never managed to break through to him as far as we know instead he warned Timothy to watch out for him. Paul's response to his situation was to allow the Lord "to reward him for his works" which ties in with the OT/NT scripture "I will avenge says the Lord". I hope the above gives you at the very least an idea of just how much God understands and how much he is not condemning you for what you feel.

You have two real choices of prayer in this kind of situation, pray that the Lord himself intervenes in his way to reach your family member on a level he'll respond to, if that's the option keep praying. The other which tends to be the option God encourages us to follow is to show him Grace and compassion despite how much he abuses the situation. This kind of Grace cannot be acted out by strength of will or mindset, only God by his Spirit can make you experience the kind of Grace you need to show your family member God's Love.

But, the warning is always there, just like Alexander the copper smith, there's no guarantee it will have the desired effect but in your situation, I really think God can use you to be a shining light, to build your own character and overcome this situation.

The prayer tends to be, "Lord, I have no strength within to love my brother as I'd hope and I know you have no condemnation over me in this situation but Lord please, give me your Grace and Love that I might show my brother your mercy". When you do, you'll overcome! I hope this helps, very limiting over text than face to face but God bless you....
 
God is Love said:
I live with my mom and younger brother and my younger brother is a huge jerk who only cares about himself and says nasty insults to me all the time and is annoying and bullies my mom and is just a horrid person to live with, but unfortunately I don't know any way to keep my cool while i'm around him anymore and at times hate him. I don't want to hate him but I don't know how to think in order to not let him bother me. I have told him multiple times how he comes off to me but he just insults me then, saying things like "you deserve it" or "you will never have friends if you can't take a joke" (his "jokes" are insults btw, like when he walks into my room when me and my mom are talking and interrupts our conversation and then calls us losers). He has no respect for me or my mom and if I could move out I would. I have never been bitter towards him or tried to hurt him, but in the moment when he makes me snap I do hate him and have to leave or risk hurting him. Please help, I can't be alone in having to deal with someone like this. And what's worse is I have to live with him, and he brings over friends who are just as bad as him and I seriously can't take this bs anymore.
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He does it because it bothers you... focus on Jesus and only Him and don't let it bother you. Just smile at him and walk away...
 
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