Don't Make Being Liked at all Costs the Bottom Line

bobinfaith

Senior Moderator
Staff member
Senior Moderator
Dear brothers and sisters;

These last few weeks I've been dealing with personalities from all sides, within and abroad, all at the same time! YIKES!
I feel while taking a step back and minding my own business, I can't win. Still, God's got this.

It's our human nature to be liked. It wouldn't make sense making it a mission not to be liked.

As men and women of God is to make Him first in our lives, seek first His Kingdom and God's direction for each of us. In the mix of that we meet new people, form bonds and friendships. This has benefits in our daily walk with Christ. We receive prayers, support, a listening ear, tough times to bear and good times to enjoy.

But we need to keep in mind the bonding, friendships and relationships require nurturing. If we're not careful, manipulation can set in. The kind of manipulation where a person attempts to mold you into being someone or why you're becoming someone other than yourself. Perhaps it's a deep insecurity on the other person (or yourself.)

Manipulation can lead to arguments and becoming defensive. Soon it becomes nonsensical with no solution. Don't allow room for a bruised ego.

Aside from God Almighty and as a Godly man or woman, we have to do a self check daily, therefore, no one knows you better than yourself.

If you are experiencing this in your life right now, communication is a good start instead of being dismissive. Don't force the other. If a friend is truly a friend then being honest should not be the problem. It's more important to stand firm in who you are in Christ. Being in Christ includes loving the other and letting them go.

Second, we can be there to listen and be supportive but we are not babysitters. Third, we do not take ownership of the other's problem that they may have in changing us. Fourth, be at peace with yourself. Peace in Christ allows us to think better.

Galatians 6:1-6, 1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 3 For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. 5 For each will have to bear his own load. 6 Let the one who is taught the word share all good things with the one who teaches. - ESV

When Christ who loves us unconditionally makes us desirous to love others unconditionally, not perfectly, but in line to God's Agape Love. This helps eliminate manipulation. It allows letting go of the other. The security comes in knowing that the friendship and bond is intact.

In the meantime, there is work to be done for the Kingdom. Stay in prayer constantly and remain in the Word.

Other's thoughts would be appreciated.

God bless you all.

Bob
 
But we need to keep in mind the bonding, friendships and relationships require nurturing. If we're not careful, manipulation can set in. The kind of manipulation where a person attempts to mold you into being someone or why you're becoming someone other than yourself. Perhaps it's a deep insecurity on the other person (or yourself.)
But... but... BUT.... I named one of my tomato plants after YOU!!!

I think for a lot of people this is a really hard thing.... the internet is filled with INFLUENCERS and we have a culture set up on the concept of "likes".
I too like to be liked... but not to the point of accepting that I CANNOT be myself.

Good post Bob.
 
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Dear brothers and sisters;

These last few weeks I've been dealing with personalities from all sides, within and abroad, all at the same time! YIKES!
I feel while taking a step back and minding my own business, I can't win. Still, God's got this.

It's our human nature to be liked. It wouldn't make sense making it a mission not to be liked.

As men and women of God is to make Him first in our lives, seek first His Kingdom and God's direction for each of us. In the mix of that we meet new people, form bonds and friendships. This has benefits in our daily walk with Christ. We receive prayers, support, a listening ear, tough times to bear and good times to enjoy.

But we need to keep in mind the bonding, friendships and relationships require nurturing. If we're not careful, manipulation can set in. The kind of manipulation where a person attempts to mold you into being someone or why you're becoming someone other than yourself. Perhaps it's a deep insecurity on the other person (or yourself.)

Manipulation can lead to arguments and becoming defensive. Soon it becomes nonsensical with no solution. Don't allow room for a bruised ego.

Aside from God Almighty and as a Godly man or woman, we have to do a self check daily, therefore, no one knows you better than yourself.

If you are experiencing this in your life right now, communication is a good start instead of being dismissive. Don't force the other. If a friend is truly a friend then being honest should not be the problem. It's more important to stand firm in who you are in Christ. Being in Christ includes loving the other and letting them go.

Second, we can be there to listen and be supportive but we are not babysitters. Third, we do not take ownership of the other's problem that they may have in changing us. Fourth, be at peace with yourself. Peace in Christ allows us to think better.

Galatians 6:1-6, 1 Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual should restore him in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you too be tempted. 2 Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 3 For if anyone thinks he is something, when he is nothing, he deceives himself. 4 But let each one test his own work, and then his reason to boast will be in himself alone and not in his neighbor. 5 For each will have to bear his own load. 6 Let the one who is taught the word share all good things with the one who teaches. - ESV

When Christ who loves us unconditionally makes us desirous to love others unconditionally, not perfectly, but in line to God's Agape Love. This helps eliminate manipulation. It allows letting go of the other. The security comes in knowing that the friendship and bond is intact.

In the meantime, there is work to be done for the Kingdom. Stay in prayer constantly and remain in the Word.

Other's thoughts would be appreciated.

God bless you all.

Bob
I appreciate your thoughts.
I appreciate your work here. Personally, I have No idea how you moderators do it, I can not and would not attempt it.
 
It is interesting then why you would make posts and give opinions on a worldwide forum.
I suppose there are other reasons to post than seeking the adoration of my peers. For example, to exchange ideas.

Of course not seeking friendship does not mean I run from it. It's not an either/or situation.
 
I suppose there are other reasons to post than seeking the adoration of my peers. For example, to exchange ideas.

Of course not seeking friendship does not mean I run from it. It's not an either/or situation.
That may be true, however.....your posts and comments have allowed others to call you a friend and I hope that you will include me in that bunch.
 
It is interesting then why you would make posts and give opinions on a worldwide forum.
The hardest thing for me when I joined the forums was to press that LIKE button on others' posts. I still do not remember to do this a lot of the time.

When I speak... I simply speak... and when I respond... I respond... so this LIKE thing is foreign to me.

I think in my case... coming from trauma and being very much ALONE in my journey of life... I never focused on being "liked".
I am absolutely AGAINST these on-line INFLUENCERS... I just don't understand the need to be followed and liked.
 
IMO, it's a matter of self confidence and self esteem. The more attention one craves, the less self confidence is present and the lower the self esteem. Such persons are habitually compelled to get people to stroke their egos.
I think you are correct.... I have not seen this type of behaviour within the forums... but I am not all that conscious of what is going on outside of the CABIN.

For a person like me who TRUSTS NO ONE.... I understood early on that EVEN if EVERYONE liked me... I would NOT believe them. HAHA.

So.... when GOD convinced me that HE LOVES me... ( in a very deep way ).... this is when my JOY began... and this is when everything I need to learn also began. I am so very grateful for the forums... because this is my SAFE PLACE to learn about fellowship and relationships.

I do understand that people need to be LOVED and encouraged... and I think I have proven to be a bearer of encouragement... but for my own personal cup.... it is GOD that fills... and of course... I have my brothers and sisters here who I DO FEEL LOVED BY.... so I am learning something I have never experienced.... This thing called family.... but for me... this means I am ACCOUNTABLE to experience the ENTIRE gamut of issues that might arise.... such as forgiving someone.... working through mis-understandings.... being patient with one another.... etc.

In my real life... I simply tend to walk away from those who I don't feel comfortable with. SO..... DA SHEEP is learning... and growing. HA

You cannot KNOW what you have NOT experienced... and truly... my life has NOT been good. Isn't it AWESOME that all of you are seeing me at my BEST... and in my HEALED PRIME??? HAHA.
 
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IMO, it's a matter of self confidence and self esteem. The more attention one craves, the less self confidence is present and the lower the self esteem. Such persons are habitually compelled to get people to stroke their egos.
I think you are correct.... I have not seen this type of behaviour within the forums... but I am not all that conscious of what is going on outside of the CABIN. For a person like me who TRUSTS NO ONE.... I understood early on that EVEN if EVERYONE liked me... I would NOT believe them. HAHA. In my real life... I simply tend to walk away from those who I don't feel comfortable with. SO..... DA SHEEP is learning... and growing. HA

Good morning,

In 2000 when I started visiting the internet daily, this online stuff made an impression on me. The internet makes it very easy to dislike others. It seems addictive, people enjoy looking for an argument or fight with constant back and forth squabbling. "How can I win the confrontation?"

I learned as easy as it is to zero in on online confrontations, it is just as easy not to go there.

As
BibleLover shared, self confidence and esteem is attainable for all of us but when it comes directly from God, it's even better. Spiritual self confidence and esteem aid us in taking our focus off dislike for others and constantly defending ourselves, to focusing more on loving others and constantly serving while defending the Gospel.

God bless
everyone.

Bob
 
The hardest thing for me when I joined the forums was to press that LIKE button on others' posts. I still do not remember to do this a lot of the time.

When I speak... I simply speak... and when I respond... I respond... so this LIKE thing is foreign to me.

I think in my case... coming from trauma and being very much ALONE in my journey of life... I never focused on being "liked".
I am absolutely AGAINST these on-line INFLUENCERS... I just don't understand the need to be followed and liked.
I would encourage you to hit that "LIKE" button for me.😁😁😁😁

It is how I get paid from the forum! The more likes mean more money and since I am retired, I need money to pay for Daisey's dog food.
(See how easy it is to be funny)!
 
Good morning,

In 2000 when I started visiting the internet daily, this online stuff made an impression on me. The internet makes it very easy to dislike others. It seems addictive, people enjoyed looking for an argument or fight with constant back and forth squabbling. "How can I win the confrontation?"

I learned as easy as it is to zero in on online confrontations, it is just as easy not to go there.

As
BibleLover shared, self confidence and esteem is attainable for all of us but when it comes directly from God, it's even better. Spiritual self confidence and esteem aid us in taking our focus off dislike for others and constantly defending ourselves, to focusing more on loving others and constantly serving while defending the Gospel.

God bless
everyone.

Bob
What impressed me when I 1st discovered Christian Forums was the way that "Christians" wanted to and sought out ways to be argumenitive and confrontational of discussions about NOTHING!

It still to this day amazes me.

For 50 years I taught the Bible in classrooms with people and my style was to encourage discussion and feedback from others. Then in the end I was always able to establish what was the correct understanding from the Word of God.

The computer screen however has given people the feeling on unanimity because they can hide behind a computer screen.

I as well as you have seen people make claims and comments that they would never make on a face to face meeting.
 
What impressed me when I 1st discovered Christian Forums was the way that "Christians" wanted to and sought out ways to be argumenitive and confrontational of discussions about NOTHING! It still to this day amazes me. For 50 years I taught the Bible in classrooms with people and my style was to encourage discussion and feedback from others. Then in the end I was always able to establish what was the correct understanding from the Word of God. The computer screen however has given people the feeling on unanimity because they can hide behind a computer screen. I as well as you have seen people make claims and comments that they would never make on a face to face meeting.

Hello Major;

God can guide us in our conduct, "salt and light" to interact on the internet with others peacefully and share the Gospel.

I remember when we were face to face in a Bible study and Sunday school. There was room for disagreements but we still sat together during the potluck. lol!

Thank you for sharing your experience.

Bob
 
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