Here goes. Hi i'm 30 I still struggle with finding work or even friends for that matter. I grew up in what most people consider to be very difficult situations. I had an older brother that for my entire life wanted almost nothing to do with me. Hated me when I was young. Ended up turning my Aunt and Uncle against me and generally just ignored any feelings I had. Later in life he continued and eventually even stole a girlfriend of mine when I was in my teens and later married her. I have a dad that has always been utterly unwilling too deal with the situation. He has completely copped out of it. My dad was quite abusive growing up. Had a horrible temper. Would drag us into church and come home livid. Never drank. Which is about all I can really say. He spent next to literally no time being involved in my life growing up. I struggled through high school. Fought depression and still am. I have had to realize he literally wants nothing to do with me. I just feeling very lost. I decided not to go for easter because I know if I stay for too long he starts getting extremely angry. How am I suppose to feel like God is loving and I have struggled with this since my teens if my dad is utterly unforgiving.
I want you to be encouraged Joel. I had a horrible childhood, the last time I spoke with my dad he said he wanted nothing to do with me. At the time he said that, it was very hurtful. That was back in 1996 and I never has spoken to him since (Though I will here soon)
What I keep in mind is that I have a better Father, a real one and my Father makes planets. Saved my son of cancer, kept me out of life in prison, paid my bills, kept my marriage together, and the list goes on.
I have grown and learned not to care what others think but to just love them. I have a real family full of brothers and sisters now who hear God and help me when God directs them to. One of them just out of the blue handed me 1,000 dollars yesterday and I only asked my Father in Heaven for the money to cover a bills. This person never even knew about it, but obeyed God to give the money to me.
I tell God that I know he is a good father and would never give up on me. My Father in heaven has never let me down, not one time, He always has come through time and time again. Even when I blow it, he comes to get me out. (Which is most of my testimonies for things I did wrong)
Open your bible and read all the good things your Father in heaven said about you. He said he would protect your family, heal you, meet your needs, perfect all those things your concerned about......... Even the issues with your Bio dad. (My son calls me Bio Dad, as He tells me He has only one real Father)
Instead of trying to figure out how to fix the fractured natural family, get to know your real Father and ask him to fix things for you. Lean on him, get your joy from him.
As you grow, you will start to care less what others do, or how they treat you. You know that if your Father in Heaven be for you, there is no force in earth or hell that can be against you.
Blessings.