Hi there everyone! I need your help. Please be so kind to read my story and give me an opinion so that I can have a clearer view on what's happening with me and what I'm doing wrong.
I am about to do my GCSE exam next May, so it is about time for me to choose where I want to continue my studies. Until this October I had no idea where I was going to go and what I was going to do. Literally I feel like nothing interests me. I like geography but I couldn't learn all about it. I like languages but I can't choose only one. I like drawing and painting but I don't want my creativeness to be likited by rules - if you know what I mean.
I've been praying for years about this. I've asked God to show me my way, but I got no answers at all. Even if I found a university that looked interesting for me, I wasn't 100% sure. It's the same feeling when you like a guy but deep down you know he is not the one and this won't work.
My mom found a university of arts and design. For me it was like love at firts sight. It had everything I needed. Modern, sellable, individual. I only saw the internet site. I've read great reviews. But also, it was said that it's recommended to apply for their "pre courses" which prepares students for the application exam. I felt so excited and happy, I thought I finally found my way.
The course was a loooot of money and I felt really bad for making my parents pay that much altho they supported me in my choice.
Today was the first day of the course and I'm writing in tears. As soon as I entered the building I felt like a complete stranger. All my great feelings about this school just flew away. The others were kind, but bitter and too alternative. Just like artists. I felt so weird because they killed all my energy. The first exercise was drawing. We had to draw a still life. It took us 3 hours. Actually I did quite well, the teacher was satisfied with me. But still I felt like this is not what I want to do...
After it was over I pretended to sleep in the car to avoid questions. I felt so miserable for wasting my parents' money and making a fool of myself taking aways all my Saturdays from November to April..
What am I doing wrong? Why does God not answer me? Or is it my way for real, just Satan tries to put me down? Or I'm just not familiar with university life and it is supposed to be this rigid and unfriendly? Please give me some advice...
I am about to do my GCSE exam next May, so it is about time for me to choose where I want to continue my studies. Until this October I had no idea where I was going to go and what I was going to do. Literally I feel like nothing interests me. I like geography but I couldn't learn all about it. I like languages but I can't choose only one. I like drawing and painting but I don't want my creativeness to be likited by rules - if you know what I mean.
I've been praying for years about this. I've asked God to show me my way, but I got no answers at all. Even if I found a university that looked interesting for me, I wasn't 100% sure. It's the same feeling when you like a guy but deep down you know he is not the one and this won't work.
My mom found a university of arts and design. For me it was like love at firts sight. It had everything I needed. Modern, sellable, individual. I only saw the internet site. I've read great reviews. But also, it was said that it's recommended to apply for their "pre courses" which prepares students for the application exam. I felt so excited and happy, I thought I finally found my way.
The course was a loooot of money and I felt really bad for making my parents pay that much altho they supported me in my choice.
Today was the first day of the course and I'm writing in tears. As soon as I entered the building I felt like a complete stranger. All my great feelings about this school just flew away. The others were kind, but bitter and too alternative. Just like artists. I felt so weird because they killed all my energy. The first exercise was drawing. We had to draw a still life. It took us 3 hours. Actually I did quite well, the teacher was satisfied with me. But still I felt like this is not what I want to do...
After it was over I pretended to sleep in the car to avoid questions. I felt so miserable for wasting my parents' money and making a fool of myself taking aways all my Saturdays from November to April..
What am I doing wrong? Why does God not answer me? Or is it my way for real, just Satan tries to put me down? Or I'm just not familiar with university life and it is supposed to be this rigid and unfriendly? Please give me some advice...
